I’ve been saying I would for years.
Randomly on Friday just gone I decided fuck it, lets see how long I can go without a fag.
My tobacco ran out and I couldnt be arsed to drive to a shop. That was at 5:30pm.
I’ve been using the odd spray from my Nicorette thing which I got from boots.
I smoked 15 a day for the past 12 years or so.
So I did two sprays and my God I almost puked. Sat there for 20 minutes salivating so much and almost chucking up!
1 spray is fine though weirdly..
But I’m just a bit confused about the whole thing.
I feel nothing in the way of cravings. I guess the nicorette spray has taken the edge off, but I’ve sprayed maybe 6 times a day since cutting fags altogether.. I mean I’ll have to come off the nicotine spray too, but maybe I can do that next week, I dunno.
I’ve just felt really sad and I don’t know why.
Like I miss it, like a part of my identity has gone.
I should be happy that I’ve managed almost 3 days without a single smoke, even watched films where the actors have smoked and whilst I wanted to have one when seeing it, I knew I couldnt because I have quit and therefore was not allowed. So it wasnt an issue as such.
I feel like it was too easy so far. I have had to use hardly any willpower whatsoever.
As weird as this sounds, it feels the same way as a relationship having ended.
Or maybe I’m just experiencing the same emotions, loneliness, irritable, bored, miserable.
I keep not knowing what the fuck people who don’t smoke do all day?!
I take Paxil for anxiety/depression, but tbh I just feel a little empty and sad, I guess thats me being ‘depressed’, but nothing concerning me or worrying. Least not at this stage.
I feel the same way as when I had to shave my head after going bald on top. Was proper miserable for a week then got over it.
I mean fuck, why on earth has it even made me feel sad?! Lol its crazy. I’ll probably live longer, have more money and not smell.
Maybe I need some sweets and some coke to perk me up!
Those could all be nicotine withdrawal symptoms, n my chemical levels sorting themselves out, but where are the ‘cravings?’ It seems I have zero of those.
I also didnt realise how many mundane little gaps or down time in the day I filled by going outside for a fag and browsing the forum or researching something, and giving my mind and body a chance to rest and reset for 10 minutes.
If a meeting is running late, go for a fag.
Whilst dinner is cooling down, smoke. After dinner, smoke.
A break from cleaning, smoke.
A break from work, smoke.
I legit dont know what to do at certain times lol.
I guess smoking was my break time throughout the day. So not having that, means I havent stepped outside, no reason to, and have to actually stand there whilst the kettle boils or iron warms up and wait for it.. just playing with my dick or something.
I mean I do miss it overall and, to be brutally honest, didnt really want to give up (but my sense told me I should at least try)..
I just feel like it was too easy.
I’m back to work (at home) next week, but then I have another 5 days off, and the F1 starts, so I’m looking forward to that in case working makes things hard..
I also have a bunch of nicotine gum coming to keep me ‘doing’ something whilst sat at the desk..
I dunno. Its been a bizarre weekend.
Comments
oh wait....
Congratulations you’ve ended an abusive relationship. As you move on you’ll realise what you’ve gained. Hope it all works out well for you.
Unfortunately, years down the line you will turn yellow and puke pieces of lung and black blood and walk around with an oxygen bottle and that time comes on you without realising, the old "next year I'll stop" or "Ive just got to get in to the mindset" and suddenly its too late, you are fucked, Ive seen it with my mum, Its fucking barbaric man.
Best thing I ever did was give up 23 years ago, I shudder to think what shape I'd be in now if I carried on. Stick with it mate, it's a grieving process, addiction is a complex thing. Best of Luck!
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Also, before I walked away from them, I was always worried that I would miss them every day, because they were part of me, part of my identity. I didn't. I still don't. I am completely unaware of the absence of them in my life now. The only time I think about them is when I see someone smoking (though I usually smell them first) and I'm aghast at the stupidity of what they're doing.
Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."
Yes, I miss those times while pondering a motorcycle electrical fault when I'd take a step back and contemplate while rolling and smoking a fag, but for the overwhelming majority of times it was just a case of interrupting what I was doing to serve a chronic addiction.
Supportact said: [my style is] probably more an accumulation of limitations and bad habits than a 'style'.
I also found it a little sad. I enjoyed smoking, it gave nice little moments of calm in my day and I guess if you stop doing anything you enjoy it has an emotional impact.
But really, for every sensible reason, best off without.
Stick with it!
Hopefully today doesnt kill me lol!
Day 3 is the hardest day. Day 4 is easier, even easier than day 2.
Supportact said: [my style is] probably more an accumulation of limitations and bad habits than a 'style'.
Fingers crossed for you.
Imagine a friend with a really bad b.o. problem, the kind that makes you gag when you get near them. ...and they have no idea.
Smokers just aren't aware of it. They splash on aftershave or perfume and think they smell nice.... They pop in a mint and think their breath is nice and fresh. No. They stink like an ashtray sprayed with aftershave with a mint dropped in it.
I never want to smell like that again.
Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."
Supportact said: [my style is] probably more an accumulation of limitations and bad habits than a 'style'.
And for many years when l was a bit younger l was a very keen spliff smoker too, and loved that as well.
I had packets of Rizlas, lying about everywhere, in jacket pockets, in my van, kitchen drawers, at work, in my guitar case.... l had large collection of lighters, zippos, clippers, all shapes and sizes.... and countless baccy tins, collected over the years.
When l ran out of baccy, l used to rip up butt's from the ashtray and re-roll them.
I got up in the morning, first thing l did - roll a fag
Shower, coffee - roll a fag
Then roll another fag.
Get into my van to travel to job, put seat belt on - roll a fag
Arrive at job - roll a fag
Check job, get tools ready, - roll a fag
Many fag breaks throughout the day until time to drive home.... - roll a fag first of course.
After dinner, throughout the evening and before bed....
Out at gigs or in the pub, or socialising it was almost non stop....
Sometimes would even be rolling one, when l still had one burning in the ashtray...
To say l was an enthusiastic smoker would be an understatement.
Then out of the blue, one Tuesday morning l woke up and thought....Nope not today.
I made it through the whole day a lot more easily than l thought l would, it was harder after about a week, and at weekends in the pub like you, l felt quite sad and that there was something missing and life was kinda pointless... but l stuck with it
That's 4 years passed now, and l have not had a solitary puff, legal or illegal, and even though l can have an urge to smoke every now and again ( like right now while writing this.!). these urges pass very quickly.
I'm not loaded, but it was never about the money for me.... It was all about my health and l honestly can say l have never felt better.
I know it's not easy, people who have never smoked don't realise how tough it is to stop,
Assist yourself with all things available, vapes, sprays, patches, gums.... And if you are determined you will crack it.
You won't regret it.....so well done for having the guts to start stopping... Keep at it,
.And good luck.
If I would usually have 5 of something I will have 4 for a week, then 3 and so on. Then at the end of it you don't suddenly think where has it gone?
Supportact said: [my style is] probably more an accumulation of limitations and bad habits than a 'style'.