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As long as I can remember, since being a young child and before puberty, I've always had this background ambient thought that I'm ugly; particularly my face. I can obsess over the tiny details, the slight bits of asymmetry, the way a certain part of skin looks more freckled than others, etc. I go out of my way to not look at myself in a mirror, even when I'm shaving my beard or head. I'll focus on bits in the background when using a mirror, to avoid looking at my face. It's also part of the reason that I act like a twat in most photos.Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others.
People of any age can have BDD, but it's most common in teenagers and young adults. It affects both men and women.
Having BDD does not mean you're vain or self-obsessed. It can be very upsetting and have a big impact on your life.
Symptoms of body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
You might have BDD if you:
- worry a lot about a specific area of your body (particularly your face)
- spend a lot of time comparing your looks with other people's
- look at yourself in mirrors a lot or avoid mirrors altogether
- go to a lot of effort to conceal flaws – for example, by spending a long time combing your hair, applying make-up or choosing clothes
- pick at your skin to make it "smooth"
BDD can seriously affect your daily life, including your work, social life and relationships.
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/body-dysmorphia/
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Edit: I’ll also add that I didn’t know BD was a thing until my early twenties, so until then I thought my perception was reality....that I was this ugly, repulsive person. Getting from the stage of identifying it to managing it took a long time.
Let's face it, few of us look like the beauty standard that are forced on us through the media. This is talked about for women a lot, but not so much for men.
I've never liked my awkward pot belliedz skinny limbed and stupidly hairy dad bod.... but I have a younger woman constantly telling me how much she likes my body, and that she is punching above her weight. It's finally starting to break down years of negative perception I have had about myself.
Instagram
Sorry Drew, I know it's a serious thread but I'm guessing that'll drift...
I was made of Handsome
Thing is, mostly, what you are isn't going to change a lot, so we all need to get comfortable in our own skin. My family love me for who I am, that's enough for me. Not bothered what anyone else thinks. That's the mantra mate!
I finally made peace with my shape/looks about 10 years ago, although to be honest it hasn't bothered me so much since my 20s. I think we like to be liked by the opposite sex, and I found that I was pretty good at getting there by just talking to them.
Drew - you look fine, nothing to worry about at all. Although if I was a woman I wouldn't fancy you, I'd be a lesbian.
a lot of people (many or most?) have lower self confidence and self esteem than they would care to admit to. Often that is the cause of perceived problems like BDD.
from videos you’ve posted on here I think the only thing that you are suffering from is the same thing that me and 99% of the world are suffering from too, which is being fairly ordinary looking.
you don’t have much control over how you look. There are many great qualities that I’m sure you have and that you have much more control over. Focus on them instead.
I think it’s a lot easier and a lot more worthwhile to become a beautiful human being.
That said, from your quoted text in the OP - I do obsess about having a big head (currently because of my fruitless search for glasses which will fit my big head), I often choose my haircuts and clothes based on a Pinterest board of others' looks that I wish to recreate, I avoid mirrors most of the time and don't use one to shave or sort my hair out but then do keep glancing throughout the day to check I still look the same etc, and the skin picking thing I definitely do. So I score fairly high on that list! But I think a fair amount of those are common nervous habits of somebody low in esteem in general and not just body dismorphia
It is a rubbish foot. It has had problems and, given the choice, I'd have had it removed. Sometimes I still want it gone, even though it functions as a foot.
This is less of a problem now I take my mental health seriously, but I still hate that foot.