Just need to put this into words somewhere to purge my soul.
So Saturday we were booked to play said garden party, about an hour from home. Packed the car with PA, Lights, long mains lead, combo, guitars, background music and stands etc. left home at 2:30 and got back home at 1:30 the next morning.
at the venue/guys house we could unload but then had to move tha cars off the drive. The drive was soft deep stone so any loads on wheels were useless, everything hand carried to the cheap gazebo flapping in the wind and trying to take off. First job take off gazebo sides to try and keep it on the ground! No solid flat surface for the kit so it wobbled on its mat all night. Couldn’t hang any lights so was blinded every time you looked down. Host fancied himself as a singer so insisted we backed him for some folk song none of us recognised, not that he had any sense of rhythm or melody. Eventually we did ‘combine harvester’ which he sang along to and we got him off.
3 long sets with our 3 piece band (oh we got requests during the interval music - it’s a disco innit?
We were well fed and watered to be fair. Pack up was in the glow of stage light though I did remember to take an old 300w par can and popped the gel out for some real light. Then got the cars back and hand carried everything across the stones again. Finally our host was £10 short on paying, we took what he had and thanked him. Nice people but hard work, home at 1:30 and unloaded the guitars and laptop, the rest was locked in the car because I was knackered, I ached all day Sunday too and avoided the several events I’d been eyeing up.
This ladies and gentlemen is what we do - sometimes. I did think about taking a youth with me as a roadie, but they usually get bored and pissed so are useless at load out anyway.
What are your stories of such events, spill the beans.
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Few weeks back, wedding in castle grounds. Large marquee type structure, but with no sides. Torrential rain earlier in the day. Venue dude tells us to set up there. Fine. Where’s the power? Oh, you need to run it from here… He points to an OUTSIDE socket which is so far away, we’d have had to have daisy-chained even our longest extension reels, leaving each join exposed in the open air. Needless to say, we found somewhere else to set up.
Saturday’s gig, just gone, lovely venue, massive room, spacious stage, soundcheck sounding good, and THEN the venue decided to mention the sound limiter they had previously failed to inform us/ our agent of. Fortunately, the dafties had specially marked, bright red sockets which were for the stage power….but which we hadn’t been directed to and hence hadn’t used. The limiter spent most of the night in the red, but of course didn’t cut us off.
Previous gig, set up in a teensy tight space, then the venue gestapo tells us, “You need to leave room for access to the emergency exit* behind you..”, so we had to squish in even tighter, with a daft gap between me and the drummer on one side and our bassist on the other.
Had a bride’s dad get up to sing (read: screech with no discernible tune, rhythm or lyric) and, being quite, quite rat-*rsed, reached out to steady himself on the nearest solid object. Alas, ride cymbals don’t support the weight of a human - they move! He took the whole kit out when he fell on it.
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1. Contract
2 and 3. Tech rider.
I trust there was an additional charge for that?
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youtube.com/@TheColourboxMusic
We then get to the usual "power" situation, we are handed 1 plug...with a commando socket on it....great start, oh, thats all we've got and we're sure the band last week used just that - ok, thats them, this is us and I somehow doubt they did, anyway, said venue organiser goes off to look for something more suitable and more of them - while this was going on I traced said commando socket back to its origin, to a breakout box out the back which was absolutely soaking wet and still being pissed on by a considerable leak from the roof/guttering - I decided at that point it was unsafe and I wasn't plugging into anything.
Organiser comes back, I give her the good news and she scurries off to find someone who might know, in the meantime, resident DJ comes over to try and help and gives us an extension lead off his side to start getting PA up etc, great, however, as soon as we powered up the rack the whole place trips, complete darkness - said DJ goes off running to the main property to un-trip - at this point he tells us this happens all of the time especially when the Hog Roast machine is running as well.
Next venue owner comes down, whats the big fuss type attitude, show her the issue, totally unsuitable, goes out the back in a huff to try and sort something gets a belt off the wet electrics at which point she falls into the big lit-up "LOVE" sign and associated paraphernalia that you normally see at weddings at the dance floor - the whole lot comes crashing down on the dancefloor and this poor lady is trapped under the whole lot, totally tangled up and obviously a little bit frazzled oh, and we are in darkness again...
After an ambulance visit (owner managed to break her ankle in the fall)we are then given dry/clean power to run, but at this point due to delays in the food, speeches etc due to weather and other power-cuts in the day etc we only play 30 mins before DJ is to take over and they were running a tight schedule time-wise due to noise restraints etc.
Load back into the van, got soaked again, mud everywhere and got home about 2am after a very very foggy drive home.
I/we absolutely hate doing weddings.
When it comes to power it's a good idea to have some options. We have a couple of 50M reels and about 20 6 way extensions so don't normally have any problems with power.
Last Sep playing the Leaf on Bold street - Liverpool. We get there and it's Friday eve so Bold Street is closed off to traffic. So it's a case of park in an adjacent road and lug all the gear down this road, through all ally and then down Bold Street in the pissing rain. Then it's gotta be lugged up the stairs where the venue is. We manage to do this but get completely soaked through and then discover the roof has been leaking and the FOH position is waterlogged. Their mixing desk is covered with water and there's various power supplies sitting in 3 inches of water on the floor.
I can see the venue is ready to throw in the towel but I think f#ck that it's sold out, hotels been paid for and I haven't come 250 miles not to do a gig. So I help the engineer with the worse of it, retrieving all the gear out of the water after I make sure the power has been killed. Unfortunately though the venue desk is full of water and fucked so I repurpose our monitor desk to FOH duties and hook him up with an iPad and he mixes the gig sat on a chair at the back as best as he can. Every got paid which to me is the chief objective.
Here's a happy garden party gig story I did a few weeks ago. It was a 60th party for the boss of the most well known DIY chain. We get there and it's raining. Not a huge issue for the punters as there's various bars and dining areas in this huge garden but nowhere dry for the band to play. So first he makes sure we all have beer and food. Then he opens up the dining room patio doors and we set up there facing into the garden. All have a good time and then at the end he gives us a £200 tip.
It's actually why I'm trying to push my lot to look at weddings & corporate gigs and being bold enough to really push that, rather than playing for bugger all money in bars who don't give a shit
I play professionally, and have done for decades. Very little guitar but I earn a living playing clarinet. Recently back from a week in the US, prior to that a month in the US. Regularly play all over Europe and off to Canada for 10 days in a couple of weeks.
Contracts, tech rider always in place. The site visit can be difficult, particularly if the job site is 150 miles away and you're playing gigs the whole time. Last July I agreed to a site visit and got paid £300 plus travel. The gig was in Windsor and I live in Brighton, so needed a large chunk of time to get there, see the space and get home.
*It wasn’t a competition, either, to see who plays the most/ furthest away.
I am not a professional musician, and never claimed to be. If you play weddings, like I do, the most practical thing to do is for either band or agent to liaise, by phone or email, with the venue in advance. For what we do, there should be no question that the venue cannot answer in this way that would necessitate a site visit.
I would love to be able to see the site prior to the day of the gig. For logistical and economic reasons, I cannot do this.
So we have one booked on Friday the 12th - in Rotherham.
Which is 4 hours away.
For a 30 minute support slot.
For about £20 each (if we're lucky).
Oh joy.
It may not be your sole job, but it's still a job. I'm sure your clients don't book you as "Dave who does it for a bit of a laugh and pin money."
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