Worst audition I’ve ever been involved in.

Open_G · September 9

I have an ad on bandmix looking for a vocalist to potentially put together an acoustic duo/trio. Exchanged a few messages and a few song ideas and booked to meet up. Had to manage expectations a bit with some of the song choices but this wasn’t a problem as you sometimes never know what will work until you try it. She is apparently a member of several choirs and has been for years. She turned up yesterday with some lyrics for songs we’d discussed.

Arrived, obviously nervous, but refused a brew- “only water when I’m singing…” A bit overly technical I thought but live and let live. Turned out to be totally tone deaf- with no idea how to pitch or control her voice, with pretty poor timing too. At times it was painful. I tried to give the benefit of the doubt for a few songs to see if she found her range/nerves wore off. But it really was terrible-. At one point I went into my lounge where my OH was sitting to grab a capo. Her WTF is this look was reassuring that I wasn’t missing something.

So for the first time in my half dozen or so blind auditions I’ve had to let someone down there and then… no “I’ll let you know” no “I’ll have a think about it.”

Then she asked me if I liked her voice? I honestly couldn’t lie and say yes but I’m not someone who thrives on conflict and direct negativity so came up with something about nerves and not being ready-also said to keep singing with her choirs. Should have told her to record herself and listen back but thought of this after the event.

The cheek of it was after she left I received a text saying she didn’t think we really gelled. I totally get the need to feel like she retained some control but it really made me chuckle. Wish I’d recorded something now to remind me of how bad things can be. Maybe I should also insist on hearing a recording beforehand. Maybe just give up on the whole idea.

theatreanchor · September 9

Hell is other people.

CaseOfAce · September 9

I've had a few moments like that whilst doing the singer audition process for my covers function / pub band over the years.

It's usually immediately clear within 5 seconds that it isn't gonna work - but I'll never be rude even if it is a waste of time. I'll do a couple or so songs to keep the vibe positive (I'm no Simon Cowell), followed by a "I'll be in touch" and subsequently sending a text to say we've found someone more appropriate?

I did once go round someone's house, sat down with an acoustic and after shooting the breeze asked the guy right ... what song do you want to do.?
- "Oh .. I'm an entertainer - you've got to see my video here on the telly with a previous band".
He outright refused to sing in the room with me the whole time I was there.

It's one of the reasons I learnt to sing. I just got tired of Search For a Star and figured I could make a better fist of this...

CoffeeAndTV · September 9

I’ve only tried auditioning once which was a disaster. I’ve always found it easier from asking around and knowing friends of friends etc.

Supportact · September 9

It's so hard trying to find the right people sometimes. And even if you find someone with the right skills, will they also have a good attitude? Their own transport? Be reliable? Turn up to the gig not absolutely wasted? Will they be great but then decide to move to Costa Rica after three months? It's not easy...

hollywoodrox · September 9

Supportact said:

It's so hard trying to find the right people sometimes. And even if you find someone with the right skills, will they also have a good attitude? Their own transport? Be reliable? Turn up to the gig not absolutely wasted? Will they be great but then decide to move to Costa Rica after three months? It's not easy...

Costa Rica is quite nice though

Open_G · September 9

Sporky · September 9

Easy to answer that one.

"Who is this? Do you want to order a pizza or not?"

Supportact · September 9

hollywoodrox said:

Supportact said:

It's so hard trying to find the right people sometimes. And even if you find someone with the right skills, will they also have a good attitude? Their own transport? Be reliable? Turn up to the gig not absolutely wasted? Will they be great but then decide to move to Costa Rica after three months? It's not easy...

Costa Rica is quite nice though

Yes I'd love to go one day. They've got some very interesting birds and other animals. Sounds amazing.

Sorry OP, I'm not sure what you can do. Tell her you're moving to Costa Rica?

LionAquaLooper · September 9

Open_G said:

Oh God No!!!!

received this text …..

Ok - so in your opinion how was her vocals on 4 Non-Blondes?
If it was ok/good then maybe she's telling the truth about the other songs.
If she wasn't even good on the 4Non Blondes tune then it's a firm no.

BillDL · September 9

Singing in a choir, even if it's a "rock choir", can be quite different from accompanying one or two acoustic guitarists. Perhaps she is a great singer in that context, but those skills do not necessarily work in other situations. You mentioned "... refused a brew- 'only water when I’m singing…' A bit overly technical I thought ...". Do you mean that she began to sound over-technical in her explanations about tea or coffee not being good for her voice, etc, etc (i.e. too analytical), or that her actual singing was "over technical"?

My Aunt used to be a soprano in the Australian Opera Company. She played the harp and sang Celtic songs, but she could never be properly "folky" enough to sound anything other than "technical" and "operatic". That's not a criticism, because she was wonderful to listen to singing anything, but she would not have fitted into an acoustic duo or trio as well as somebody with a far less trained voice.

munckee · September 9

Open_G said:

Oh God No!!!!

received this text …..

You could respond with “to be fair it was hard to hear the singing over that horrendous banshee death screeching sound the whole time.”

when do you want to meet up?

Open_G · September 9

BillDL said:

Singing in a choir, even if it's a "rock choir", can be quite different from accompanying one or two acoustic guitarists. Perhaps she is a great singer in that context, but those skills do not necessarily work in other situations. You mentioned "... refused a brew- 'only water when I’m singing…' A bit overly technical I thought ...". Do you mean that she began to sound over-technical in her explanations about tea or coffee not being good for her voice, etc, etc (i.e. too analytical), or that her actual singing was "over technical"?

My Aunt used to be a soprano in the Australian Opera Company. She played the harp and sang Celtic songs, but she could never be properly "folky" enough to sound anything other than "technical" and "operatic". That's not a criticism, because she was wonderful to listen to singing anything, but she would not have fitted into an acoustic duo or trio as well as somebody with a far less trained voice.

Overly technical re tea/coffee not being good for her voice, maybe similar to me being asked to do
some washing up 5 mins before playing and refusing because it would soften my nails.

Open_G · September 9

LionAquaLooper said:

Open_G said:

Oh God No!!!!

received this text …..

Ok - so in your opinion how was her vocals on 4 Non-Blondes?
If it was ok/good then maybe she's telling the truth about the other songs.
If she wasn't even good on the 4Non Blondes tune then it's a firm no.

Nope. Even on that one her tuning was off and she followed my harmonies when I added them.

LionAquaLooper · September 9

Open_G said:

LionAquaLooper said:

Open_G said:

Oh God No!!!!

received this text …..

Ok - so in your opinion how was her vocals on 4 Non-Blondes?
If it was ok/good then maybe she's telling the truth about the other songs.
If she wasn't even good on the 4Non Blondes tune then it's a firm no.

Nope. Even on that one her tuning was off and she followed my harmonies when I added them.

LoL that settles it then

Hopefully your future auditions fare better!

Open_G · September 9

Forwarded said text to Mrs G. Her response, and I quote:

“HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

thanks for the eternal love and support then dear!!!

Whistler · September 9

It took me a few auditions and even time playing in bands to develop my interview technique, even when I am the one being auditioned. I want to determine 4 things:

Music - will I enjoy playing the songs and style of music or am will I be out of my depth - either my skills are not up to the job or the job will not be using my skills?

Mates - will I enjoy being with my bandmates such that when we go through a tough patch, I still want to hang out with them and help make it work?

Money - will I earn enough to cover my expenses, my wages, my dreams, or is this another pay to play situation?

Mission - what does the group want to achieve - have some fun? Serve some purpose? What targets are we wanting to hit - maybe chart positions or festival appearances, TV, radio or magazine appearances or interviews?

I don't need all 4 to work in a band but finding out the band's expectations for each of these goes a long way to helping me to make a wiser decision that when I started out and was simply happy to get the job.

theatreanchor · September 9

Open_G said:

Oh God No!!!!

received this text …..

Hi. Ive had a re-think & think we’ve been a bit hasty, cos all the songs i sang yesterday, (except 4 non blondes) were new to me - I’ve heard them often played eg on radio/TV etc, so just knew the chorus, but to learn a song well, you really have to study and practice it. I did have all the song sheets with me that I’ve performed with the rock choir, but didnt sing any of those (doh!) - and including Here Comes The Sun - one of ur fav’s - & mine also. Can we have a further sesh - maybe just half an hour for a couple of songs? If that doesnt work out, im happy to say call it quits. I was also a bit nervous, bearing in mind we’ve never met each other before. I can honestly sing really well. I can come back to urs, or u come 2 mine, whatever suits. Best

Either ignore or say she was right and you don’t really gel.

oh_pollo · September 9

I think it's shitty behavior to publish people's texts on a public forum.

LionAquaLooper · September 9

Whistler said:

It took me a few auditions and even time playing in bands to develop my interview technique, even when I am the one being auditioned. I want to determine 4 things:

Music - will I enjoy playing the songs and style of music or am will I be out of my depth - either my skills are not up to the job or the job will not be using my skills?

Mates - will I enjoy being with my bandmates such that when we go through a tough patch, I still want to hang out with them and help make it work?

Money - will I earn enough to cover my expenses, my wages, my dreams, or is this another pay to play situation?

Mission - what does the group want to achieve - have some fun? Serve some purpose? What targets are we wanting to hit - maybe chart positions or festival appearances, TV, radio or magazine appearances or interviews?

I don't need all 4 to work in a band but finding out the band's expectations for each of these goes a long way to helping me to make a wiser decision that when I started out and was simply happy to get the job.

Just my preference - I'd rather play with mates no matter how bad we are as a band. My mentality on it is, it's easier to improve someone's talent than it is to improve someone's attitude and bad behaviour no matter. Don't care how amazing they are at their craft.

borntohang · September 9

Drinking water rather than caffeine is good technique but definitely sounds like some polite advice she's been offered by a diplomatic choir leader in the past when asking for tips - it's not going to magically fix your pitching or breathing in the same way as a new guitar setup won't fix your crappy technique. Choral singing is very different to singing alone and unless they are also regularly taking solos I wouldn't use it as a reference for any capability as a lead vocalist.

I don't think the second text requires much more than a "Thanks for the offer but agree we didn't gel - good luck in your search". Politeness costs nothing, but 'no' is a complete sentence and you don't have to justify your decision any more than you would after a bad date or interview.

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Worst audition I’ve ever been involved in.

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