Past friends

wordy · October 2013

I dont really - which is a bit of a shame. I sometimes wonder if I should try to go for a pint with my best mate from school, on the one or two times a year I visit home.

I think one of the things that puts me off is that I found that once I'd turned my back on my old life that some of my old friends and family were a bit weird about it - like it sometimes feels like theyre desparate not to hear anything about it, which is fine but it makes it pretty difficult to have a conversation. Not all of them are like that - but some definitely are.

Oddly the best mate I have back home is someone I met in a bar in the middle of Europe - whom I can share any bit of exciting good news with, without him feeling insecure and thinking I'm up my own arse in some way.

Sad really, but there it is.

chillidoggy · October 2013

I only keep in touch with one mate of mine from schooldays who I was in a band with. I have been in contact with other school friends but I don't have anything in common with them any more, and they mostly seem really old, more like talking to my dad than a mate. I went to a reunion at a place I where I worked for a long time, but I felt like an outcast. I've come to the conclusion that it's better to keep the memories of the good times, because trying to recreate or relive them doesn't work. At least not for me, anyway.

RocknRollDave · October 2013

I'm fairly crap at keeping in touch with people, so FB has helped a bit in that respect, but I have no nostalgia whatsoever for my school years or my school colleagues.
My brother can recite his school register off by heart in order, despite the fact that he is 43 next week.
I saw a primary school group photo a while back that I was in and not only did I not remember the majority of the people in it but I also had no recollection of the teacher or ever having been in his class.

On the other hand, an ex-girlfriend contacted me via Friends Reunited a few years back. We'd been best friends before anything romantic had happened, so it was good to hear from her, even if the message was just "Hello!"

......Our daughter is 2 in January!

Phil_aka_Pip · October 2013

Work reunions. Went to one once. Seemed like everyone was keen to impress on everyone else how their career was so many more steps up the ladder since we all parted. Or how much extra money they were making. Or how much their house had increased in perceived market value. Or how many extra kids they'd produced. None of which was I really interested in.

guitarfishbay · October 2013

Phil_aka_Pip said:

Work reunions. Went to one once. Seemed like everyone was keen to impress on everyone else how their career was so many more steps up the ladder since we all parted. Or how much extra money they were making. Or how much their house had increased in perceived market value. Or how many extra kids they'd produced. None of which was I really interested in.

This reminds me of an article I recently saw on the daily mash (a tongue firmly in cheek publication) - http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/yuppie-no-longer-a-word-because-everyone-like-that-now-2013092679795

bertie · October 2013

yep, keep in touch (of varying degrees) with probably 20 or so old mates from 30 + years ago back in the 'home town' - we were a close bunch, went through a lot together - do try meet have a few beers with em once or twice a year........ more If I could.

.

PolarityMan · October 2013

I keep in touch with a few people (I guess ahlf a dozen plus their attendant other halves) I went to school with. We're a bit more geographically distributed now but we meet up every month or so I guess.

The ones that have kinda drifted out of touch have been my uni mates largely. Only keep in touch with 2 and see them maybe once a year.

stickyfiddle · October 2013

monquixote;48697" said:
The only people I still know from way back are the people who are "low maintenance friends" as in people I can bump into after having not seen them for 5 years and carry on as if I'd seen them yesterday.I don't regularly spend time with anyone I went to school with for example.

Exactly this with me (aged 29). I had a few school friends at my wedding this year but only the ones where we can be apart years and then meet up and it's like we've only been away for a few days.

imported_none · October 2013

Unlike you nerds, I was cool as heck at school, and so I still have a decent group of friends from those days. I'm 25 though, so I'm not sure how things will look in another 10 years.

ICBM · October 2013

Walk on and don't look back.

I haven't seen anyone from school in the best part of thirty years - I had enough friends there, I just felt that was a part of my life which is over. There are only two people from Uni I've kept in touch with - one was my best mate there, I've seen him about every ten years which is good, but we don't really have anything in common now. I'm married to the other one.

RobDavies · October 2013

I'm 42 (43 next week, for those that do cards and presents etc). I still keep in touch with a group of lads I went to school with - we socialise once every six months or so - beers and curry etc and occasionally we all get together with the WAGS and kids. I like them, which is why I still see them.

I've also known my football buddies for more than twenty odd years and we also socialise outside of a Saturday afternoon.

There are however people from school on FB, that I really couldn't give a feck about but didn't want to seem rude by rejecting their friendship requests. I also like to see how ugly their wives and kids are....

bertie · October 2013

ICBM said:

Walk on and don't look back.

each to his own and all that, but I find that rather tragic. To balance that, I also find the "never having walked on' just as sad.

I had an amazing time gowing up, fantastic friends, super times - we knew people we went to school with in towns and villages in a 15 mile radius of our "home town" so we always had somewhere new to socialise - when I was 25 or so I outgrew that and had to move away for work - it was hard but I had to do it.

I never ever forget those times or those friends, I have a "new life" with new friends - but still need/want to keep in touch with my old buddies - there's no rose tinted specs, theres no regrets, theres no wishing I was still there. Its just a part of my life that still 'fits'

jd0272 · October 2013

I tend not too. Coupla guys and girls I occasionally communicate with, but not much. Life's too busy. The 'core group' who still go out regularly in the home town I know I can slot in with at any time. Work's quite intense so friendships develop that are quite meaningful, but I don't do the work 'do' thing etc. Always communicating socially with the lads in our band tho.

I'm VERY good friends with any off licence that has a cracking current offer on a nice bourbon tho

It's interesting when doing the primary school thing when I see folk (generally the women) who I went to school with. There but for the Grace of God and all that....

And I don't do Facebook, so I'm spared that. I'm quite anti-social anyway so it suits me nicely. Sister in law (who I detest) has a million or so Facebook 'friends'. Asked her how many of these fuckers she'd actually met in real life, she struggled.

But each to their own. Some people 'need' that type of ongoing contact. I don't, and exist accordingly.

gilby · October 2013

frankus;48699" said:

It's good to connect to the past every so often - it's what shaped us and seeing bits of the past that trouble can help reshape us.

This.

I lost touch with a lot of people I knew when I was in my mid twenties. Relationship, went sour, she made things difficult, aversion to returning to my previous stoner lifestyle blah de blah.
I only got face book last year or so and caught up with some of the old crowd. It's been good, I live a long way away now but I've caught up with some. Feel I've missed out a bit but the people that mattered to me were a joy to see. I did kinda disappear on them.
Think my friends circle is quite rounded but to be honest keeping in touch with family is more important. We're a scattered bunch us Gilbys.

Myranda · October 2013

frankus said:

Myranda said:

I caught up with an ex girlfriend once - that was a mistake. I know we were catching up, but by golly she'd become self absorbed.

or suffering from depression

Well obviously...

paulk · October 2013

I'm 50. I developed friendships in my (pre) teens that I still have to this day despite years where we were, literally, all over the world. Next month I meet up with old bandmates that I haven't played with since 1984 and we're going to have a full day playing together. We all met last year at the premiere for the "Good Vibrations" movie (the Terri Hooley/N.I. punk story) and it was as if we had never been apart (our first time together in a room since 1985). Like walking back into the bar after a piss and just taking up the conversation where it left off. It was magic and I love those guys.

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