Anyone Played at a FUNERAL...?

RocknRollDave · July 2016

Bit of a first for me... Depping with my almost-as-often-as-my-regular-band gig, but this one is a funeral.

I have, in fact, played a living wake before (i.e. chap knows he hasn't long left, throws a party to say goodbye to his nearest and dearest...Now THAT was odd...) but never an fully blown funeral.

I have managed to get My Generation taken out of the set ("Hope I die before I get old"....?!)...

Some talk of the venue's 75dB volume limit, which sounds like BS because (a) they don't have a noise limiter in place and (b) they have no on-site means of measuring the sound pressure level (so I am told)....and 75dB is about as loud as a butterfly gently taking off from flower 6 miles away when you have your fingers in your ears.
Maybe they don't want to wake the dead.

ESBlonde · July 2016

Not at the funeral service, but have done a wake once as a band plus several informal jam sessions at the wake of local musicians.

failed_astronaut · July 2016

This is getting a LOL but I hope people don't think I'm being insensitive.

failed_astronaut · July 2016

I'd probably also steer clear of Don't fear the reaper, Knockin' on Heaven's Door and Another one bites the dust...

octatonic · July 2016

I'd like to play at my own.

jaytmon · July 2016

First gig I played with current band, family friends of singer, young lad killed in a car crash. It was a bit weird tbh. Not for any one specific reason I don't think, just a host of little ones all sneakily adding up. I think we were appreciated, but I couldn't be sure and probably not by everyone. No Blue Oyster Cult in the set list mind.

DLM · July 2016

I've not, but would. Wor lass has done a fair few, but that's obviously different: unplugged classical instruments.

hugbot · July 2016

My ex girlfriend did once and she said it was one of the worst gigs she's ever played.

Teetonetal · July 2016

My aunt requested that I play some classical guitar for her funeral, mainly as she hated the piped music they had provided for her friends. Was fine and appropriate I think. Not sure I'd want to do a full blown gig though.

Danny1969 · July 2016

Some friends of mine were asked to play at wake for a biker guy who had died. No problem they thought ......... then at the gig they get asked to play Bat out of hell as a tribute to this fallen comrade ......... it's not exactly an easy song is it ! especially when you have no keys and don't know it. But they struggle on and afterwards get told it wasn't much of a tribute, more of an insult really

That always makes me smile ...

I've never done a funeral, good luck with that !

BigMonka · July 2016

I've played at a "funeral" before (I lead the church's band) but it was described more as a "celebration of his short life" - tragic story of a 3week old boy passing away. The whole thing was very difficult and very very emotionally charged for everyone (the grieving parents are close friends) - but actually it helped the grieving process so I'm glad I did it.

It's a bit different to being asked to play a covers gig at a wake though, which I'd imagine would be fine although a bit weird.

english_bob · July 2016

I was asked to play guitar at my brother in law's mother in law's funeral. Not the wake, the actual funeral service.

I got less than a week's notice and very little direction about what to play ("what sort of music did she like?" "Er... Enya?") which didn't help. I didn't really know any of her family either, so didn't know what sort of audience I'd be playing to. Mrs_bob ended up with babysitting duty on the day so aside from about five people I'd ever met before I was pretty much on my own playing for a room full of recently bereaved strangers. Fuuuuuuck.

I ended up working out what I thought would be a fairly simple fingerstyle instrumental version of Abide With Me, only freezing cold crematorium chapels and nerves do not provide a stable platform for fingerstyle guitar so I spent the duration of the tune battling with a case of sausage fingers. Horrible.

Not as bad as the situation the drummer from my last band found himself in when his covers band were booked to play in a pub the evening after they'd hosted a wake for a young man who had committed suicide. Opening tune? Can't Stand Losing You.

slacker · July 2016

Some churches have a noise limit on them. A local one to me was built right next to an old peoples complex. The old folks complained so an order went in. I'd have thought that they would have been a little more sympathetic with the church being their next stop.

I have a played a couple of funerals and in either case used the arch top in my sig photo and a borrowed amp a Fender HRD (pause for vomitting noises) and a Twin (yay). THe amp was barely on and we played some hymns. The departed family had asked for a 'band' which in both cases was a guitar or to a keyboard and some singers. For anyone playing in this format, trat it like a folk/unplugged/coffee gig. I got complimented on my sensitivity both time sas ai usually play a LP full on.

I have been to a couple of funerals where there was a full band and that's normally the modern P&W type stuff (just ask at TGP).

If there are some so called secular songs with a band, I would make them as stripped down as possible, rework them so they are more acoustic. Get the drummer to play with hotrods or brushes (deal with it). Maybe even go for a cajon. IMHO trying to nail the original sound at 75 dbs is going to be really difficult.

THe building might be a challenge. Some modern churches are just like a school hall and some are built like theatres. If you get a Norman jobby made from stone with high ceilings play as softly as possible and turn your reverb off.

FInally some sentimental bollocks from me, when I've played at a funeral, I've played music which I love doing but I have hopefully helped some people in a difficult situation.

crunchman · July 2016

I've played for the church service for at least 3 that I can think of - similar to @BigMonka being part of the church band. They were all for people who I knew quite well so it was nice to be able to play my part and help out the family.

Don't know if I can give any useful advice though.

PVO_Dave · July 2016

When I was doing photography part time, I got asked to take photos at a funeral.

One of the weirder things I've done, I'm not sure the other guests knew why I was taking pictures etc.. like I might have been doing it for pleasure or something.

The wife of the deceased was happy with the pictures, not sure it's something I'd do again though.

Voxman · July 2016

failed_astronaut said:

I'd probably also steer clear of Don't fear the reaper, Knockin' on Heaven's Door and Another one bites the dust...

But maybe Stairway to Heaven!

Unusual 'gig' (if that's the right word in these circumstances) - never come across that before. Might be woth asking if the deceased had any favourite songs that you might be able to play as a personal tribute?

Placidcasual79 · July 2016

RocknRollDave said:

Bit of a first for me... Depping with my almost-as-often-as-my-regular-band gig, but this one is a funeral.

I have, in fact, played a living wake before (i.e. chap knows he hasn't long left, throws a party to say goodbye to his nearest and dearest...Now THAT was odd...) but never an fully blown funeral.

R+R Dave -

I am in the same situation - what was the living wake gig like? One of the fella's that comes to see our band regular has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. He's having a do in a hotel to gather friends and family, renew his wedding vows and say his goodbyes.

They've asked us to play. He's offered to pay us?!?!?? I won't take the money, but I am not sure how to pitch the set. Were a ska band so its party time normally. I guess we'll just do what we do - thats why he wants us there..... but maybe drop your wondering now and enjoy your self.....

Serious - any tips?

koneguitarist · July 2016

Only after the funeral at wakes etc. Died at a few gigs mind!

slacker · July 2016

Placidcasual79 said:

Serious - any tips?

The question wasnt aimed at me but...

Ask him. Find out what songs he wants, how it's pitched, serious, humour, etc.

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Anyone Played at a FUNERAL...?

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