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I didn't really start again until I was 33, landing a couple of 80 date European tours with a minor French celebrity, and picking up a few bits and pieces of session work for Sony (very low level stuff, sounds more glamorous than it was).
Since 1998 I've played in a succession of cover bands, some pro, some just friends and family making a bit of beer money like my current one.
Interspersed with all this is more studio sessions, a few paid projects in my home studio, and gigging with half a dozen or so original singer/songwriters.
The point of all this rambling is that if you're a musician, you'll always be one, you can dip in and out as you please, do it for fun, do it for money, use it to survive through divorce, redundancy and whatever else life throws at you.
The crossroads you've arrived at is the one where you realise you're not ever going to "make it big", but funnily enough all the higher level stuff I've done, including stadium gigs and biggish tours ALL came along years after I'd "retired".
So of course it's time to stop.
For a bit.
I always read these types of threads for a couple reasons. I've been working as a guitarist since I finished uni 3 years ago, did a few good tours and sessions, and had a band that I lived for. The band was super talented and made up of my best mates, but sadly the 5 of us together are maybe a bit too broken and hopeless to get our act together enough to turn it into a job. The session work carried on picking up, and as the band took a bit of a backseat due to a members family sickness. Right as I was entering a period of not much happening I got an offer to join a band full time with a label and good backing. It has pretty much been a life changer for me.
It's not been without complications though, it took me a good few months to figure out my role in the band and get comfortable with the band members and the very involved record label, but now I'm in it and can't believe that it's happened really I just sort of walked into it without really thinking much about it. But as my involvement began, I had to be realistic with myself about my old band, and while I truly believe that the talent is there, knowing what I know now about bands who have made it through, there is a level of commitment and workmanship that just wasn't there with my previous band. It hurt alot to realise that, and think of myself touring with a different set of dudes. But I had to do what was best, and my older band decided that we are all busy doing other things, and that we would continue to write music and release it without the pressure of PR, gigs, tours, posters, facebook statuses, twitter - all of that bollocks. All that does really is eat up time and if you can't put in the proper shift for that stuff, it's pointless anyway. So I think now that in order to keep it fun you need to figure out what you need from it, whether its playing live, writing, recording, and streamline that and cut out any of the pointless stress that comes along with being in a band and having big ambitions.
So we just decided to write and have fun with it while we all pursue our own things. Now I am lucky enough to be in a band that is my job, and on the side I write music with my best friends and who knows, maybe in 15 years we will have a serious body of work to look back on - and if anybody happens to like what we're doing along the way then great - but it isn't the be all and end all.
Sorry for rambling and using 'I' alot, but all of this is something I've thought long and hard about over the last 6 months. What it is to be a musician and what I'm willing to tolerate in order to make music and have fun along the way. Luckily I'm willing to do pretty much anything to tour and do this full time, but many of my friends along the way were not, and thats something I can truly respect - they have found out how to extract the goodness they need from music and cut out any of the bullshit. And can pursue any other dreams on the side. Not being tunnel-vision prone and obsessive is the real talent!
Good luck to you man, if a covers band is a way for you to get your rocks off once a week, and earn a bit of beer money on the side..more power to you dude! This world of guitar is littered with super-hero guitar players who never left their home town and that is super cool to me!
The other option is to go and play as a live guitarist only, for say, singers who put bands together to gig/tour EP's and albums. Once the cycle is over they get new members. That way I don't have to commit long-term, and if there's any members I don't get on with I only have to do it temporarily til the next gig haha.
As I've grown to find out over the years it takes a lot to really make an originals band work. Aside from playing your instrument well you have to have all the other characteristics to get together. Cos all my hopes and dreams were in one band I took it very seriously and small things like members turning up late to rehearsals and not learning parts would really irritate me.
Every day I would be wondering if what I did was enough to propel me to a step closer to being signed, but in most of the bands I played in there would always be 1-2 members not pulling their weight, leaving me to do the lion's share of work. Eventually I grew sick of it though. But I felt pressure to "do something" as if nothing happened we wouldn't get anywhere.
The band I'm involved in with now is super close-knit and all the guys are singing from the same hymn sheet. Unfortunately they already have 2 guitarists and we've toyed with the idea of using 3 live but the stages we play on aren't quite big enough to house 3 x 4x12 guitar cabs! But I'm enjoying the experience and the backseat role so I think I'll just continue for now. The guys have said they will not hold me back from joining another project or pursuing other interests, which is cool. But they appreciate me being around and helping out with stuff.
Maybe cover bands is the next way forward as there's no pressure to stand out from other bands, to write the best songs, to pay for the best quality recordings, and spend money on merch, branding, etc etc. Its about having a laugh on a Saturday night playing some tunes and making drunk punters sing and dance. Best of all I get a few quid for it!
In recent years, my interest has rekindled - and after playing in a band situation at tFB Northern Jam a couple of weeks ago, I think I may want to gig again.
There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ - you have to go with your gut....
According to your OP I might as well be dead! 32!! You're barely past the sperm stage. I fully intend to play live stuff as soon as I'm ready.
My Trading Feedback | You Bring The Band
Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after youI just think if I left it too long I'll lose that passion for playing live, its nearly been a year already, but I know some of you guys have been away from the stage for longer. When I lose that feeling of anticipation going on stage and the feeling of playing on it then I reckon there's something wrong. I still have that burning desire to play.
Most of the worries were around how he appeared to other people. I once asked if he would be happy to make the best music he ever had, playing the best he ever had personally, if no-one else (apart from the rest of the band) ever heard it or knew about it. The answer was "No". It transpired that he needs other people to know what he is doing, and when, in order to feel validated as a proper musician. If no-one knew, he probably wouldn't play at all.
That made me sad, but I know he's not the only person who feels like that.
I know some people will say that's because music is meant to be heard (and they mean by other people than the person who creates it or plays it). I know that's not true. Music is inanimate. It has no feelings or purpose - it's humans that need it to fulfil a purpose, feel emotions in response and strive to give it meaning.
Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
Things could be worse. It's nice to reconnect with it all after a break so maybe a break is a good thing in that way?
My Strat is going to see Jon at Feline soon to be set up again and tweaked and I'm learning songs, looking sideways at jam nights and I even talked to a girl the other day without anything going wrong...
Thank **** for my guitar,
That's all I can say right now.
I just can't see myself at 50 getting up on stage and rocking out lol.
When I was 16 I couldn’t imagine being 21. I restarted gigging in my late 40s. Anyone who wants to see a 64 year old playing Teenage Kicks can come to our gig on Saturday.
I'll be donning leather and Les Paul in Loughborough on Saturday otherwise I may have come and checked you out
It would've seemed weird to 16 year old me, but electric guitar is an old man's game these days.
You already more than likely have your self settled, your more well off than you have ever been, your more mature in your relationship decisions.
you can go to bed what time you like (if your Mrs is with you or if your lucky enough not to be owned by one).
If you have a stay behind lockin till sun up you can use your bus pass to get home.
You dont have to perform for any groupies just send them the shop for your paper before you leave, and your back to captain the Dominoes team on wednesday night.
Make sure you only gig in pubs that have a cat. You will need to blame the smell of piss on something and it would be totally unprofessional to blame the audience.
You could reinvent the punk era spit pit with The Piss Pit!.