I didn’t want to post anything about this. But, I feel compelled to pass on the message that we just don’t know what others are dealing with. What sort of journey they’ve been on, how hard has it been for them, how have they coped mentally?
Yesterday evening, my neighbour tried to take his own life in a very public manner. It was an awful site but we got him onto the grass, covered him in blankets and waited for the emergency services to arrive.
If you have any neighbours, friends or family who you know are vulnerable or perhaps struggle from time to time please, pick up the phone and make sure they’re okay. The tell tale signs were there but my wife and I failed to see them until it was too late. Hindsight is a wonderful thing though.
For the record... It appears that even though he’s in intensive care, he’ll pull through. We did what we could and it worked.
My own main issue is my 3 children saw most of the proceedings and last night was pretty bad with them. I spent today in a daze tbh... I’ve only just come around this evening.
It was a life changing moment for me. I don’t know how to describe the feeling of knowing that while you’re trying to smash a door in to get access to the house a man is dying In front of you.
No one is invincible. Given a bad enough situation this could be any one of us.
For god sake, treat each other with some respect and care. We all deserve to be happy.
*pardon the thread title, I had no idea what to type*
Comments
I'm sorry your kids had to see a distressing and awful sight. I think the more open you are with them, the better they will deal with it. Little ones will be fascinated for a while and then go off and play with their Paw Patrol pups; older ones will appreciate your honesty.
/2p
EDIT: And kudos to you for intervening and making a crucial difference.
In the meantime, your children are going to seek answers to some difficult questions. Some of these, you will not be able to furnish. No shame in admitting that you have no clear cut explanation.
@Funkfingers the kids seems to be “okay” this evening but my wife and I didn’t speak much today. Not because we didn’t want to, but how do you communicate after what happened. Hopefully tomorrow will be better
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Yup. Give it time.
Parasuicide.
People who make an exhibition of themselves in this manner seek attention.
People who sincerely want to terminate themselves go to great lengths to make certain that nobody can stop them.
Had this all happened out the back where the workshop is I wouldn’t have seen or heard a thing. Simply due to the noise I was making. I had a brief thought that it was a cry for help but he had also made it very difficult to get to him. There are a lot of issues here, I hope he will get the right help now. He’s been suffering for too long.
If he is allowed home I have been thinking about trying to get him out and about rather than sitting in all day smoking.
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We planted a tree, it's still there and we all go visit it from time to time.
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Years ago, a very good family friend hanged her three little boys, and then herself, from a rafter in their kitchen. It haunts me to this day that for some reason she didn't ask for help, and that no-one recognised whatever signs there may have been - but no-one did. Awful, awful thing is suicide.
I think MH is slowly becoming bit less of a stigmata these days, but being able to do something about it is still the tricky bit, hopefully someone here will have read your post and had a think about those around them, or even themselves.
Hope you and your family are ok, will pass in time, talking will help, even if its to vent about something completely non related and irrelevant.
Fingers crossed he gets the help he needs now and at least you are aware of his situation as his neighbour now. Also if it's taking its toll on you, then please go and talk to someone yourself, outside of family and those close to you. Stuff like this can have a long lasting effect on you, it's always better to share than let it fester. Sounds like your already there though by posting on here, good on you and take care dude.
P.s. Kids are extraordinarily resilient with stuff like this and there's been some good advice already above. Just talk to them and be honest I think, that's what I would do anyway.
My head said brake, but my heart cried never.
Sterling work by yourself and your wife - Hope the kids come out of this okay with no fear factor or bad dreams
My head said brake, but my heart cried never.
it was 5 years ago, i have beat myself up everyday since that i couldnt do more to help my mate but and am now divorced from the ex wife and living very happily with a great woman so that side of it has worked out for the best. that was possibly the worst Monday of all time though
Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!