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My head said brake, but my heart cried never.
He'd reached out a few times and was having counselling for his depression but was just so desperately unhappy. I spoke to him a couple of times - Had only lived there a 18 months - but to be honest I selfishly felt I already had an overloaded boat of people I emotionally try to keep afloat at the time, plus a newborn baby. I often wonder if I could have been there for him and if I could have made a difference but in all reality at best I could maybe have delayed what he was always going to do.
I'm not positive that intense and justified sadness lasting 20 years is the same as having a mental illness. He tried everything and felt it was the only avenue open to him to stop the pain.
Poor fucker.
Been uploading old tracks I recorded ages ago and hopefully some new noodles here.
• Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@Goldeneraguitars
But sometimes there are no usable signs. Sometimes, a person has maintained an image for so long that no one could have sensibly foretold their actions.
Something on the radio this week about the increasing automisation of supermarkets. One of the arguments against it was that shop staff provide a back stop social service - that conversation with the woman on the till at Tesco might be their only conversation all day. Very sad but very true. I went into a Costa during the period I was being treated for depression and I obviously looked like shit and the young woman behind the counter there went out of her way to make sure I was okay. A genuine act of kindness.
[ FWIW during that same period I was posting on here about pedals n stuff and a regular member decided it was okay to have a bit of a rant at me over something and that upset me greatly. Whilst I am a grown man and a stranger on the internet having a rant over my grammar ( really) is a bunch of nonsense but on that day I took it badly. If you are going to be a shit to someone on the internet perhaps remember there is another person at the end of it. Having just read TTony’s Discussion about taking a break from the forum maybe it’s a timely thought ]
And +1 on the last bit g4y. I hope all is as well as can be in the Lonestar household.
The kids have stopped referencing it although it was actually our youngest who had the biggest problem with what happened.
Thank you as well to those who commented, in sorry I haven’t had the time to reply to you all. I’m so busy from 5am every day that I just didn’t get the time to respond but I have read everything.
• Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@Goldeneraguitars
It was an impressive thing you did in a difficult situation, much respect to you.