So, I've recently met a new lass and it all seems to be going well. However, for some unknown reason I'm now constantly worrying that it's all going to go to shit, thinking that it's going too well and that it seems too good to be true.
This just seems like a repeat of every time I've been in this situation, wherein I constantly worry that it's all going to go to shit for no apparent reason. I occasionally have a tendency to seek subtle reassurance at any opportunity and I'm concerned now that all this leads to uncharacteristic behaviour that actually can potentially send things to shit.
It's not just with potential relationships where I worry - I worry about most stuff to be honest - it's just it hits hardest in situations like this and, to be honest, I'm fed up with it now.
Is this normal? Am I overreacting or is this something I should maybe seek help with?
It seems much easier to get this all out on a platform such as this
Comments
Studio: https://www.voltperoctave.com
Music: https://www.euclideancircuits.com
Me: https://www.jamesrichmond.com
soundcloud.com/thecolourbox-1
youtube.com/@TheColourboxMusic
You have my sympathy and I wouldn't willingly go back to that age (although I'd like to be able to fit into the jeans I wore back then) but I do wish I could tap myself on the shoulder around then and say 'don't worry, it is all going to be fine' though.
You might also be feeling like by mid 20's that 'things should have happened by now' (again, this is a thought I had around then).
I would say a couple of things- don't be afraid of binning people or situations if they are not working for you, provided you are looking after yourself in the process.
Also, any of the moments you feel very acutely might be completely unnoticed by other parties- people mostly care about themselves and you might not figure that highly in their own mental tabulations. That might be a comfort (being able to fly under the radar), or it might now.
It can take a long time for some people to get a proper sense of themselves and not worry about what other people think.
Without being too fatuous about it, I'd just say try to enjoy your early adulthood as much as you can.
Studio: https://www.voltperoctave.com
Music: https://www.euclideancircuits.com
Me: https://www.jamesrichmond.com
Its quite normal I think to think stuff this good doesn't happen to people like you and wait for the downfall but stuff like this does happen to people like you and by embracing it and enjoying it you will probably be more fun to be around and it can take off.
Plus worrying about it will not stop anything bad happening, just mean you won't enjoy it as much in the meantime.
Supportact said: [my style is] probably more an accumulation of limitations and bad habits than a 'style'.
As said above, most people are too busy hiding their own thing to start noticing anyone else's thing.
At 26, despite outward appearances, my head was falling off my shoulders in a thousand different ways. I wasn't comfortable, anywhere.
I'm 55 next month, and have made some big strides - I'm still however work in progress.
This Lady you've met will already know that which you're trying to disguise, and yet there She still is, as is mine, some 20 odd years later.
Be yourself, who else can you be?
Stay cool.
@munckee I totally agree with you. I just can't seem to stop it!
The most irritating thing is that I don't know why I'm overthinking this. 2 days ago I was all excited about it. It's going well - I've looked back at the messages we've exchanged recently and thought back on our conversations in person and there's nothing to suggest otherwise but here we are.
I'm of course going to withhold this madness from her and hope it continues to develop as it has been. Hopefully after I see her tonight I'll be back to being positive about it. I just wanted a little moan, at myself more than anything, as I'm just fed up with it. I never thought for a second either that I was on my own with this, but it's nice to know that there's people out there who can empathise.
Hope it goes your way chief.
Your Young and have plenty to offer just accept and dont question whether or not you deserve to be happy.
Try to enjoy the ride and not worry about falling off.
All the best.
If you're happy and you know it, over think.
If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to blow it,
If you're happy and you know it, over think
soundcloud.com/thecolourbox-1
youtube.com/@TheColourboxMusic
Just enjoy the ride mate. I thought similar things when I got with my other half... 7 years and 2 kids later, it's all gravy.
*I can't think how to rephrase that, I don't mean it to be cruel, and I'm not saying you have acted bad so far.
I know the overthinking is a problem but it's so hard to kick a habit. It's much easier to say stop than it is to actually do it I can say that!
@joeyowen don't worry I get what you mean and I agree. I know the problem here! I am doing my best to make sure this shit is withheld from her - knowing that if it continues to go well it will be forgotten about haha.
In 10 years time if you look back you will likely realise that it wasn't worth the worry. Doesn't actually matter whether you split up tomorrow, in five years, or are still happily together in 10 years. Just be yourself (unless you are a dick, then be someone else), treat her with respect and let the cards fall where they will.