Rant about musician wanted ads

guitarfishbay · February 2015

Chalky;535403" said:
Whenever I've been to my local open mike nights the only newbies allowed to join in have had to be female, pretty and disturbingly young. The regular musos seem far too controlling. As I fail all three criteria where can you find some old farts who just want to get together and jam towards maybe getting a handful of songs together?

All the open mic nights I've done have been first come first served. That sounds more like a loosely organised gig than an open mic night.

richardhomer · February 2015

Wulfhere;35310" said:
Am I untouchable? (I am about to go working away in India for two months, so maybe)

You could take up the sitar....

XWulfhere · February 2015

richardhomer said:

Wulfhere;35310" said:
Am I untouchable? (I am about to go working away in India for two months, so maybe)
You could take up the sitar....

I've spent In the last five years I've spent a total of 14 months in India over 13 different trips. I have only seen someone playing the sitar once!

Nunogilberto · February 2015

It's that long running ad for a guitarist in the Guitarist classifieds that makes me laugh - must be over 22, must have long dark hair and must look like Richie Sambora - you know the one!

jeztone2 · February 2015

I think the whole 'Quest for fame & glory' has gotten in the way of making good music. Especially around London & The South East. I see more bands interested in being themselves further north I think. Its like everyones read a book on how to be an arsehole. If I see the phrase "Da Industry" again, I ll kill.

Since I moved down south 4 years ago Ive really struggled to find people who want to make original music for the sheer enjoyment of it.

Most of the ads Ive seen are either 'Wanted unpaid session muso to back Urban act do as I say to play guitar until I become famous, but have no equity or stake in the act"

or...

" Wanted Guitarist to join covers band must be able to learn 500+ songs and sacrifice marriage & life in order to play Dooley's tunes down 'Plank & Strumpet' "

or...

"Controlling frontman wants you to play a few chords but nothing that might detract from them being centre of attention. You will have no creative input & I will sneer at your pedalboard" (That last one actually happened).

My last band were quite good, but the bassist/frontman was a control freak & the drummer couldn't play unless he was high.

Im moving back to the midlands in a few months so Im hoping I'll fair better there.

meltedbuzzbox · February 2015

hobbio said:

My problem is nerves. Even with the ad I posted here that's had a couple of responses I'm just too nervous about my ability to actually do anything. I really want to though!

take the plunge bud. Everyone makes a fluff of things and is nervous from time to time

The reward is always worth it

stickyfiddle · February 2015

My last wanted ad is below. It's the only band ad I ever wrote that got more than 3 useful replies. In fact I got shitloads of great people respond and would've got a good band together if I hadn't got asked to audition with my actual last band within a couple of weeks of putting the ad up.

"Right, I've had it with all this meek & mild "guitarist available" stuff that gets nowhere. A decent wedding band can get paid £200 per member in a single night, and have fun playing to dancey muppets while they're at it. Sound good?

I want to start a functions/wedding band to have fun & make money playing covers of classic songs. The originals scene is crap right now and I'm tired of it. There must be others like me! I play Guitar plus a little keys and bass, and I'm confident singing harmonies, so I need a Bassist, Singist, Drummist, Keyboarderist or maybe another Guitarist.

All you multi-instrumentalists get extra points. Age isn't important as long as you're good at your craft and happy to work hard. I can be reached on here or at [email]

Go!"

XWulfhere · February 2015

I might just copy that exact ad when I do mine!

stickyfiddle · February 2015

Wulfhere said:

I might just copy that exact ad when I do mine!

Feel free. As long as no more than around 2% of people use it I think it should still work

Plukky · February 2015

I hope your expectations are reasonable, because it's exactly how I feel.

I've answered a number of ads over the years, and made it plain what sort of a player I am: I'm not an entirely useless guitarist, but I'm not a pro (if I was, I wouldn't be answering ads for covers bands!), but almost without fail the "auditions" have gone badly. The worst being one where they had been very specific about covering some blues standards as performed by specific artists - and then started playing in a different key... That one lasted a song and a half...

XWulfhere · February 2015

Sometimes they seem more like adverts for cults...

Okay, well I'm a few months out but maybe I'll try my hand and posting an advert and see what turns up. Hopefully there's a lurking drummer and then I can head down to Stafford's open mic acoustic night and pick out a singer.

PolarityMan · February 2015

I reckon we should have a competition to put out the most ridiculous spoof ad and see who gets the best replies

Drew_TNBD · February 2015

Wulfhere said:

I'd like to get into band playing again as I really miss playing with other musicians. But I'm getting put off by most of the ads I see (admittedly mainly on joinmyband). Usually they read like this:

WANTED: Guitarist for <ultraspecific genre> wanted, must have massive experience of gigging and total unswerving commitment to worldwide mega stardom. We have a set of songs which you must learn. Age 18-25 NO TIMEWASTERS

I mean, all I really want to do is just get together with people and learn some songs with likeminded folk who'd not mind me having to cancel a practice if I had to work and just maybe play occasional gigs. But mainly to just play for the sake and bloody enjoyment of it!

Is it just me? Am I untouchable? (I am about to go working away in India for two months, so maybe)

Sounds to me like your issue is that you're not in a position to take it seriously. Well sorry... dems the breaks! People want people who aren't going to hold them back or flake out.

Practically no-one on the originals circuit is making money these days. Vis-a-vis ... everyone has to enjoy it, and if a band member is treating it like a standard hobby and isn't putting in the effort that everyone else is putting in, then the ship is going to be pulling in the same direction. And there is nothing more dispiriting than that.

digitalscream · February 2015

Sooo...I'm guessing mine falls foul of this then

There's nothing wrong with wanting somebody who can commit to the band - if that's not for you, fine, but I don't get what's wrong with asking? Not everybody who wants a properly committed band member is seeking fame and fortune, y'know. They just don't want to have to work around lazy asshats...

Drew_TNBD · February 2015

Plukky said:

I hope your expectations are reasonable, because it's exactly how I feel.

I've answered a number of ads over the years, and made it plain what sort of a player I am: I'm not an entirely useless guitarist, but I'm not a pro (if I was, I wouldn't be answering ads for covers bands!), but almost without fail the "auditions" have gone badly. The worst being one where they had been very specific about covering some blues standards as performed by specific artists - and then started playing in a different key... That one lasted a song and a half...

Same message to you really.

You can't play blues standards in a different key right off the top of your head? Then you're not good enough to be in a band. Sorry!

rossi · February 2015

All guitarist follow the singer not the other way round.Its a lesson worth remembering .The times I have heard "But Eric playes it in E"

Handsome_Chris · February 2015

I can highly recommend Bandmix: It got me into the band I'm in now. I got a lot more serious attention than by using any of the free sites.

monquixote · February 2015

I think the issue with guitarists is that compared to other musicians they are ten a penny so you really have to bring something else to the table to have a look in. (That's not to say that it's any easier to actually find a good one).

It's possible I might recruit a second guitarist for my band, but if I do I'll be looking for someone with lots of live experience, good technical ability, pro gear, and either backing vocals or the ability to double on another instrument. I don't think I have to settle for less so I wouldn't.

So many people put adverts up like: "LEAD guitarist forming band requires: vocals, drums, bass, and RHYTHM guitarist. I will play all of the SOLOs and choose all of the songs"

XWulfhere · February 2015

Doesn't anyone just jam for fun anymore though? That's what I'm really surprised at when I see that ads.

Fair play to you guys who need the commitment though, if you've got proper earning bands.

Handsome_Chris · February 2015

Wulfhere said:

Doesn't anyone just jam for fun anymore though? That's what I'm really surprised at when I see that ads.

Fair play to you guys who need the commitment though, if you've got proper earning bands.

I'm not in a proper earning band, but I am still committed. I'm not being taken for a count by someone who is half arsed and can't be bothered to put the time in to learn the stuff. If someone wants to jam they can go down the pub and play their five bar blues 'til their heart's content.

I play songs for fun, in a band.

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