Guitarist Top Trumps

Bridgehouse

fandango said:

Frank Zappa

weirdness: 90
’tache: infinite score
cool factor: 50
humour: yes
Technical ability: 75
years active: 38
Top 40 chart* hits: one
album releases: 100




* Billboard

Dysfunctional family - 1000

randerson

Carlos Santana

Technical ability - 5
Fashion - 5
Sound - 5
Listenability - 5
Stagemanship- 5
Enthusiasm - 100

Haych

Joe Walsh

Fashion Sense - Too drunk to care.
Substance abuse - Professional
Ability to sound drunk when sober - 100
Ability to play well when drunk - 100
Face like a blind cobblers thumb - Yes
Bonkers factor - Mad as a box of frogs.

^ it's a bit of an unfair dig to be honest, the guy has been sober for quite a few years now, but boy was he ever entertaining when drunk and/or high!

darthed1981

Bridgehouse said:

Pete Townshend

Pinball Playing - 5
Windmill rating - 360 (degrees)
Rock and Roll ability - 100
Influence - 100
Wise use of credit card - 5

Anticipation of his book - 100

blobb

Johnny Marr

Technical - 100

Guitar Choice - 100

Stagemanship - 100

Drug Use - 100

Fashion Sense - 100

Sound - 100

Listenability - 100

choice of songwriting partner* - 200 (or -200, depending on which camp you sit in)

the first seven are non negotiable, so really its only the last one that makes any difference. If you draw this card it works like a Joker.

*edit: you know the one i mean, Matt Johnson is undeniably a +300

normula1

Chuck Berry

Ability to influence - 90
Ability to re-use a riff - 75
Quack like a duck - 0
Walk like a duck - 100
Getting money from the promoter - 100
Wielding a mean pair of hair scissors - 65
Judging the age of girls - 10

Lebarque

This is my new favourite thread. Sorry, but someone had to do it...

Chappers

Two-handed tapping on a Gretsch: 70
Ability to irritate with the word 'Greetings': 150
Synical change of musical genre: 85
Unfathomable career in guitars: 95
Jealousy from Fretboard members: 90

Lebarque

Bridgehouse said:

Brian May

Iconic riffs - 100
Homemade guitar building - 100
Looking like the missus - 100
Being upstaged by the frontman - 100
Unique ability to design monopoly style games - 100
Ability to know when enough is enough - 0

Badgers - 105

Lebarque

James Hetfield

Decent songs: One

Bridgehouse

Kirk Hammett

Perm rating - 100
Expenditure on Elastoplast tape - £massive
Ability to sound like Peter Green/Gary Moore - 0
Gullibility rating when Korina is involved - still being explored

Bellycaster

Haych said:

Mark Knopfler

Technical - 20
Guitar Choice - 50
Band dictatorship - 90
Flair - 10
Phil Collins Syndrome - 80
Use of plectrum - 5
Entertaining to watch - -50
Knowing all the fancy chords - 100

I thought that was his mate "Guitar George"

RMJ

Kurt Cobain

Chords - 4
Making guitar cool again - 100
Angst - 100
Song writing - 100
Drugs - certainly
Influencing a generation - you know it
Ability to deal with fame - absolute zero
Taste in women - hopeless

Bridgehouse

RMJ said:

Kurt Cobain

Chords - 4
Making guitar cool again - 100
Angst - 100
Song writing - 100
Drugs - certainly
Influencing a generation - you know it
Ability to deal with fame - absolute zero
Taste in women - hopeless

Ability to start bands that propel other members into the spotlight so that later in their careers they start bands that produce some proper banging choons- 1000

Lebarque

RMJ said:

Kurt Cobain

Chords - 4
Making guitar cool again - 100
Angst - 100
Song writing - 100
Drugs - certainly
Influencing a generation - you know it
Ability to deal with fame - absolute zero
Taste in women - hopeless

Killing off Hair Metal with one song - 105
Garage - 2 (barrels)

grappagreen

Hands down this is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages.. f’kin priceless:)

Octafish

Bridgehouse said:

Kirk Hammett

Perm rating - 100
Expenditure on Elastoplast tape - £massive
Ability to sound like Peter Green/Gary Moore - 0
Gullibility rating when Korina is involved - still being explored

How could you forget 'Wah Wah use - 1000000'

Bridgehouse

Octafish said:

Bridgehouse said:

Kirk Hammett

Perm rating - 100
Expenditure on Elastoplast tape - £massive
Ability to sound like Peter Green/Gary Moore - 0
Gullibility rating when Korina is involved - still being explored

How could you forget 'Wah Wah use - 1000000'

I’ve been trying to forget it for quite some time. Clearly I was successful

HAL9000

Paul Simon

Songwriting - 95
Technical ability - 40
Fashion sense - 15 (I’m feeling generous)
Ways to leave your lover - 50

blobb

Vim Fuego

Burnin' - 25

Lootin' - 25

Rape-in' - 25

& a' shootin' - 25

bonus:

Den Dennis,

pints of lager - 100

£ per sausage - 2:05

HAL9000

randerson said:

Carlos Santana

Technical ability - 5
Fashion - 5
Sound - 5
Listenability - 5
Stagemanship- 5
Enthusiasm - 100
Ability to talk bollocks - 100

FTFY