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I won't extend the joke any further than that for fear for my own life.
There are 65 reissues out there ( strats I'm sure at least) , you'd probably get a more useable guitar following that route as well.
Good suggestion.
I think things like Melody Makers are still relatively cheap, although I don't follow the vintage market. Maybe one which has been modded a bit?
If you decide to do that, let me know
http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/158380/fs-vintage-usa-epiphone-casino
(no connection to me, just saw it earlier).