What films have you watched recently?

Offset

Attack Of The Flatulating Dead (2023), Prime.

I thought I'd watch this on a 'so bad it must be good' basis.  Errrm, no.

British.  Zombies.  Farting.  Criminally shite acting.  Zero budget.  Zero laughs.  Zero scares.  Mind numbing, unbelievable tedium.

I lasted 15 minutes last night and tried another 20 minutes just now just to be generous.  It's flatulent, certainly, but not in a good way.  It's doubtless supposed to be shit, but it's a parody that's beyond shit.  It really IS shit.  The people who made this should receive a ban from straying near a camera or a clapper (crapper?) board that remains in place until the sun implodes, becomes a black hole and wipes out all life on earth as it sucks what remains of humanity into its' maw.

Minus a gazillion /10.

Philly_Q

Attack Of The Flatulating Dead (Amazon Prime)

Well I just had to, didn't I...?

I didn't even get to the end of the opening credits before I fell asleep.  But then I tried again, and watched all 101 minutes.

It's certainly not "so bad it's good".  It's so bad it's.... oddly fascinating.  Most of the film is two blokes, (separately) wandering around scavenging for food and water.  This is supposedly in the wake of a zombie outbreak caused by a meteorite which fell to Earth during World War 2.  Are there actually any zombies, you ask?  Well yes, maybe half a dozen in total, who are seen wandering around occasionally.  None of them really do anything, other than farting.

There are a few moments which are meant to be funny, and to be fair, they are quite funny.  But for the most part it's simply bewildering.  Overall, definitely not the worst film I've seen on a streaming channel, not by a long way.

Offset

Crikey @Philly_Q - you must, over the course of many years of watching dodgy streamed films, have developed some kind of semi-impenetrable shield which protects you from the worst effects of such drivel.  (Hmmmm... sounds like a good plot for a film...)

I have to say AOTFD is one of the worst movies I've (half-) seen in ages.  I can tolerate dross, but not boring dross. :-) 

Philly_Q

@Offset the weird thing is, I didn't find it boring.  I get very bored watching bad horror movies where it's five twentysomethings in a van in the mountains/wilderness/desert with no cellphone reception, because I've seen that 500 times. 

In this one, for the first 20 minutes it looked like they were sort-of trying to make a familiar post-apocalyptic film with a military/scientific compound, a zombie outbreak etc... but then after that it went so completely random that I was quite fascinated.  Did you get as far as...

...the puppet show, the clown in the woods, the musical guy, the spaceship and the guy building a DIY shed to hide from the zombies?  And the closing credits, where they list all the sound-effects samples they used for farts, barking dogs, "arm being ripped off", etc.  Even the subtitles made me laugh a couple of times, I think they must have done their own.

Offset

I didn't get that far I'm afraid, no - but your summary made me laugh!

earwighoney

Philly_Q said:

I get very bored watching bad horror movies where it's five twentysomethings in a van in the mountains/wilderness/desert with no cellphone reception, because I've seen that 500 times. 

I asked you a while back what the trends in horror films have been recently and this seems to be the answer. I've been out of the loop for horror films for a while, but it seems there is a theme that seems to dominate the landscape every few years, like a while back there were countless found footage films.

Philly_Q

earwighoney said:

Philly_Q said:

I get very bored watching bad horror movies where it's five twentysomethings in a van in the mountains/wilderness/desert with no cellphone reception, because I've seen that 500 times. 

I asked you a while back what the trends in horror films have been recently and this seems to be the answer. I've been out of the loop for horror films for a while, but it seems there is a theme that seems to dominate the landscape every few years, like a while back there were countless found footage films.

There doesn't seem to be any obvious trend at the moment.  Everything and nothing.  They still make slashers, found footage, home invasion movies etc, but nothing dominates.  I guess if anything sequels and prequels are happening quite a lot... that's always been a big thing in horror but now we're seeing reboots of franchises which have been dormant for a long time, like the Evil Dead, the Exorcist and the Omen. 

Shrews

50's - Hitchcock stuff
60's - Dracula/Hammer stuff
70's - Witchcraft and devil stuff
80's - Slasher stuff
90's - Found footage stuff
00's - Zombie stuff
10's -Tory stuff
20's - More Tory stuff

BigBearKris

Re Horror films - has anyone seen new Omen? I'm toying with an idea of watching it tonight, but since it's my 2nd day on holiday I have to be careful with my choices as missus is not a horror fan.

munckee

BigBearKris said:

Re Horror films - has anyone seen new Omen? I'm toying with an idea of watching it tonight, but since it's my 2nd day on holiday I have to be careful with my choices as missus is not a horror fan.

How new, if you mean the remake from 5-10 years ago then I’d watch the original, much better. 

Philly_Q

munckee said:

BigBearKris said:

Re Horror films - has anyone seen new Omen? I'm toying with an idea of watching it tonight, but since it's my 2nd day on holiday I have to be careful with my choices as missus is not a horror fan.

How new, if you mean the remake from 5-10 years ago then I’d watch the original, much better. 

No, this is a new prequel, The First Omen.  Haven't seen it, but I intend to, in due course.
(Edit:  ooh, it's on Disney+)

Leiversalone

I watched The First Omen, last night. Obviously it's not as good as the original, or it's cool sequel, which are both personal favourites. But it's still pretty good. If you are a fan I'd recommend it. I'd say 7 out of 10. After a bottle of Jam Shed of course. 

CavemanGrogg

Offset said:

Attack Of The Flatulating Dead (2023), Prime.

I thought I'd watch this on a 'so bad it must be good' basis.  Errrm, no.

British.  Zombies.  Farting.  Criminally shite acting.  Zero budget.  Zero laughs.  Zero scares.  Mind numbing, unbelievable tedium.

I lasted 15 minutes last night and tried another 20 minutes just now just to be generous.  It's flatulent, certainly, but not in a good way.  It's doubtless supposed to be shit, but it's a parody that's beyond shit.  It really IS shit.  The people who made this should receive a ban from straying near a camera or a clapper (crapper?) board that remains in place until the sun implodes, becomes a black hole and wipes out all life on earth as it sucks what remains of humanity into its' maw.

Minus a gazillion /10.

That pretty much describes over 90% of British films over the last 20 years.

We watched Major Payne this evening, first time either of us have watched it, it had us in bloody stitches, and almost on the floor with laughter.

It gets a solid 8 out of 10 from us.

Kurtis

Bullet Train. 

Action comedy set on a Japanese bullet train. 
I quite enjoyed it. It's quite stylistic which I think lets the almost cartoon like action scenes work. Totally over the top but fun, few wee twists here and there, some good laughs, and a reasonable story to keep you interested.

7/10

Philly_Q

The First Omen (Disney+)

I don't think there's any need to go into the plot, suffice to say it's a prequel to The Omen, set in Rome, 1971.  It's got exactly the right kind of serious, foreboding atmosphere, twisted religious overtones and some gonzo horror setpieces (although it maybe could have done with one or two more of those in the two-hour running time).

As reboots of classic horror franchises go, last year's The Exorcist: Believer screwed things up in almost every possible way.  The First Omen is way, way better.  I won't complain if they do another one.

goldtop

Portrait of a Woman on Fire (iPlayer) A doomed love story set in 18th (?) century France, between a subject and her portrait painter. All-round brilliant acting, uncomplicated yet compelling story and fantastic cinematography. There's some F+F nudity, but it's no surprise to find it was a woman directing, as it's not at all titillating. 9/10

Dontgiveupyourdayjob

goldtop said:

Portrait of a Woman on Fire (iPlayer) A doomed love story set in 18th (?) century France, between a subject and her portrait painter. All-round brilliant acting, uncomplicated yet compelling story and fantastic cinematography. There's some F+F nudity, but it's no surprise to find it was a woman directing, as it's not at all titillating. 9/10

Brilliant film. Fairly distinctive in that it has no music to speak of as I recall.

goldtop

Dontgiveupyourdayjob said:

goldtop said:

Portrait of a Woman on Fire (iPlayer) A doomed love story set in 18th (?) century France, between a subject and her portrait painter. All-round brilliant acting, uncomplicated yet compelling story and fantastic cinematography. There's some F+F nudity, but it's no surprise to find it was a woman directing, as it's not at all titillating. 9/10

Brilliant film. Fairly distinctive in that it has no music to speak of as I recall.

It's pretty sparse sound-wise. There was music as part of the plot - some peasant singing and that Vivaldi piece. Both were perfectly chosen.

DrCornelius

CavemanGrogg said:

That pretty much describes over 90% of British films over the last 20 years.

We watched Major Payne this evening, first time either of us have watched it, it had us in bloody stitches, and almost on the floor with laughter.

It gets a solid 8 out of 10 from us.

If that’s the one with Damon Wayans in then where did you see that Grogg ? I saw that in the cinema in the States about 30 years ago and it cracked me up, always kept an eye out for it since but haven’t seen it anywhere 

CavemanGrogg

DrCornelius said:

CavemanGrogg said:

That pretty much describes over 90% of British films over the last 20 years.

We watched Major Payne this evening, first time either of us have watched it, it had us in bloody stitches, and almost on the floor with laughter.

It gets a solid 8 out of 10 from us.

If that’s the one with Damon Wayans in then where did you see that Grogg ? I saw that in the cinema in the States about 30 years ago and it cracked me up, always kept an eye out for it since but haven’t seen it anywhere 

That's the one, we bought the HD version of it from the Google TV/Google Play store for something like £6, if you keep an eye on the ''Deals on popular movies'' section in the Google TV/Google Play store, the HD version is often found in there for under a fiver, though I don't know if these deals are catered to your viewing/purchase choices, we often see it in there though.  We didn't buy it from that section the other night though, it wasn't in there, we paid full price for the HD version, which as I said, cost us something like £6.  A lot of people said we should watch it, and they weren't wrong, it is bloody funny.