Money, status etc

jonnyburgo

Does having a decent amount of money mean that you should outwardly project that with your house, car, clothes belongings etc? There is a pressure I think to project success to others, so many expensive cars on the road now even though we are in a nationwide financial bad state. I realize its sort of relative but it isn't unusual to see a 50k car on the drive of a pretty modest house these days, if course many of these will be leased but do you think that people in general are pressured to project? And what is it all about? I've probably not worded this very well but there you go. I sometimes feel embarrassed by the old banger 13 yr old Vauxhall with a banged door on my drive and then check myself to not be daft. It isn't important to me 99% of the time.

ZenOvertone

Most of those cars are likely to be on finance of one sort or another (PCP or straight loan)!

fretmeister

I see that in my village.

250K house with a 75K motor outside it.

However they want to spend their money is fine by me, but I'd rather have a bigger house and a cheaper car, or maybe the same house but be over-paying to get rid of the mortgage rather than paying the monthlys on a 75K car.

Stratavarious

There are lots of very insecure people out there.

You simply have more sense than them and better priorities.

stickyfiddle

100% agree on the projection thing, especially with the combination of social media and cheap finance/credit/PCP everywhere. 

It’s one of the big reasons we choose to live in Abu Dhabi and not Dubai, because there are far fewer flash gits constantly climbing over each other to give the appearance they’re ahead of the next guy.

 I learned a good while ago that it’s all pointless because there will ALWAYS be someone with more cash, more appetite to take credit, more desire to outspend, etc. You can never beat them so you’ll never be happy going down that route. I fail sometimes, as is human nature, but I’m trying. 

Christ, I bought a bloody Porsche Macan last year and I can still barely use the P word in conversation because I’m desperate not to be that guy!

jonnyburgo

I think I'm general I've arrived at a place where investing and saving is more satisfying than buying stuff, it can be nice to have nice things but the pleasure they bring is fleeting, for me that is, and I'm not judging others because it looks like sour grapes or envy. Doesn't stop me having bouts of GAS though every so often but I don't act on it except maybe once every few years. I just want to be financially secure in retirement and accruing debt on "things" isn't going to get me there.

Although I probably have spent 50k+ on travel in the last 20years

VimFuego

I genuinely don't care what people think of my car (10 year old Hyundai), it's reliable, cheap, easy to park and will almost never get stolen. If people do want to judge me by the car I drive, I welcome it as it means I can make the instant decision to label them a bellend. 

Sporky

I have a nine-bazillion-pound house with three six-gazillion-pound cars parked outside.

People say I'm just trying to fill the void in my heart with material possessions, but as a cardiovascular surgeon I know that such attempts end with a dead patient on the table and an awkward conversation with my insurers. 

mrkb

stickyfiddle said:

100% agree on the projection thing, especially with the combination of social media and cheap finance/credit/PCP everywhere. 

It’s one of the big reasons we choose to live in Abu Dhabi and not Dubai, because there are far fewer flash gits constantly climbing over each other to give the appearance they’re ahead of the next guy.

 I learned a good while ago that it’s all pointless because there will ALWAYS be someone with more cash, more appetite to take credit, more desire to outspend, etc. You can never beat them so you’ll never be happy going down that route. I fail sometimes, as is human nature, but I’m trying. 

Christ, I bought a bloody Porsche Macan last year and I can still barely use the P word in conversation because I’m desperate not to be that guy!

Nice humble brag

stickyfiddle

mrkb said:

stickyfiddle said:

100% agree on the projection thing, especially with the combination of social media and cheap finance/credit/PCP everywhere. 

It’s one of the big reasons we choose to live in Abu Dhabi and not Dubai, because there are far fewer flash gits constantly climbing over each other to give the appearance they’re ahead of the next guy.

 I learned a good while ago that it’s all pointless because there will ALWAYS be someone with more cash, more appetite to take credit, more desire to outspend, etc. You can never beat them so you’ll never be happy going down that route. I fail sometimes, as is human nature, but I’m trying. 

Christ, I bought a bloody Porsche Macan last year and I can still barely use the P word in conversation because I’m desperate not to be that guy!

Nice humble brag

I know someone would say it  My first draft didn't include that line - I swear! We live in an apartment so it's not like neighbours even see it in front of our house! 

Sporky

VimFuego said:

If people do want to judge me by the car I drive, I welcome it as it means I can make the instant decision to label them a bellend. 

We can still judge you on everything else, right? 

mrkb

stickyfiddle said:

mrkb said:

stickyfiddle said:

Christ, I bought a bloody Porsche Macan last year and I can still barely use the P word in conversation because I’m desperate not to be that guy!

Nice humble brag

I know someone would say it  My first draft didn't include that line - I swear! We live in an apartment so it's not like neighbours even see it in front of our house! 

I was only ribbing you. My car costs more than my house did! With the caveat, the house was bought 24 years ago, and the car is a very cheap lease deal through my employer, I couldn’t afford to buy it new.

VimFuego

Sporky said:

VimFuego said:

If people do want to judge me by the car I drive, I welcome it as it means I can make the instant decision to label them a bellend. 

We can still judge you on everything else, right? 

I'd be disappointed and indeed, personally insulted, if you didn't. 

Sporky

My house was free. I stole it from a local bear who insulted my favourite hat. Couldn't let that slide, so early one morning I rang his doorbell, then hid at the side of the porch. I'd left a bowl of Ready Brek on the pavement opposite, and we all know bears can't resist Ready Brek. Off he ambled, I snuck in, and now he sits there on the pavement looking sad and hungry.

I made my car from about two hundred different part-works series, just the first issue of each (and one eBay job lot of a few dozen copies of issue 27 of the Titanic one). It's a pretty shit car to be fair. 

Also mittens. 

Roland

There’s also marketing pressure on people to spend. That’s one of my pet hates. Then there’s image projection and there’s enjoyment, and there’s practicality, and then peoples’ there’s assumptions. I drive a 520 because it takes my gear, the PA, and lights. It also does a 200 mile trip in comfort, and we drive those every month. The car is 11 years old, scratched and dented, and valued at £3k. When I bought it in 2013 it would have looked impressive on the drive. 

Do you judge me for having a BMW, or for having a beaten up car?

GoFish

jonnyburgo said:

I think I'm general I've arrived at a place where investing and saving is more satisfying than buying stuff, it can be nice to have nice things but the pleasure they bring is fleeting, for me that is, and I'm not judging others because it looks like sour grapes or envy. Doesn't stop me having bouts of GAS though every so often but I don't act on it except maybe once every few years. I just want to be financially secure in retirement and accruing debt on "things" isn't going to get me there.

Although I probably have spent 50k+ on travel in the last 20years

Sounds to me like you know your priorities - I'd be willing to bet that that 50k has done more for you than an equivalently priced car would have. You see a car as something to get from A to B and you'd much rather use that cash to go see C and D. Makes sense, that.

TTony

It's the way our consumerist society is built.  If we weren't constantly encouraged to want more and buy, buy, buy, then most Western economies would quickly collapse. 

And a large chunk of it is aimed at the conspicuous consumption market, not the behind closed doors stuff that no-one's going to see.  A flash car will be seen by plenty, so it's pretty effective.  A flash watch is less effective.  A fancy pair of underpants - not very effective at all (unless you wear them on the outside of course).

Sadly, advertising is designed to create all sorts of unnecessary wants.  Add in some SM "influencers" and the school yard / school gate peer pressures, and then enable it all with never-never cheap finance, and everyone's happy.  

Well, a few people are happy (mainly the ad creators and some shareholders), but most people are mostly unhappy. 

They end up buying stuff that gives them no pleasure other than the quick-fix buzz.  Then they see a new ad and realise that the Porsche Macan is only for the wannabees and it's really the Cayenne or bust.



"Being happy is wanting what you have, not having what you want"

Sporky

Roland said:

Do you judge me for having a BMW, or for having a beaten up car?

Yes. Also the socks. 

TTony

ZenOvertone said:

Most of those cars are likely to be on finance of one sort or another (PCP or straight loan)!

Sadly, I'd bet that a good number of those people have spent most of their adult lives in the era of low-to-zero interest rates.  Debt was essentially free. 

I smile sadly when I read interviews with "people" who think that mortgage rates going up to 5%, 6%, whatever% will mean that they'll not be able to afford the repayments.  I don't doubt that it'll be true for a significant number.  Add in general inflation, and that we've become a subscriber-society (pay monthly, never own), and monthly outgoings for that significant number are going to get squeezed.

What goes first - the house, or one of the family's fancy cars?  

RaymondLin

I am not rich, but I am not living on benefits either but through my wedding jobs I have met some incredibly wealthy people, and in my experience, the ones that are truly wealthy act the most average to me.  Their money isn't in flashy stuff, but it's in their property, their business, things you can't see when they walk down the street.

My uncle retired about 15 years ago when he was in his mid 40's, and bought a flat in Hong Kong (and we all know how expensive properties are there).  He walks around in John McClane style with a wife beater and shorts with flip flops.  He shops in the same stores and eats in the same places as the next guy who lives in a shoe box.

Being flashy with your money is pointless, the people who see them are mostly strangers.  Sure if you go to a work meeting, dress smart, but that is not the same as being flashy day to day.

stickyfiddle

TTony said: 

They end up buying stuff that gives them no pleasure other than the quick-fix buzz.  Then they see a new ad and realise that the Porsche Macan is only for the wannabees and it's really the Cayenne or bust.

I see what you did there :P 

I didn't consider a Cayenne for a second. We just don't need the extra space, cost or fuel spend. The Macan does absolutely everything I need and it eats miles which is fantastic when I'm up and down the 100 miles between here & Dubai often. I did of course consider a Boxster/Cayman though, but that has no room for guitars or cat carriers