Ridiculous train lateness excuses

Gassage

So I'm sitting on the Chiltern Chugger, just around High Wycombe. the train is now 45 mins late because of the selfish gesture of someone hurling himself in front it. Quite what he was hoping to achieve, other than endorsing various theories of Einstein I am not sure. Most frustrating, as seemingly it's not a good look to have a dead body splattered all over the front of the train, the Police, rather pedantically, are insisting it is scraped off before we continue with our 'onward journey'. Very frustrating. My words may sound harsh but I have no tolerance for suicide attempts as I consider them hugely selfish. If they want to do the "look at me thing" buy a Murphy aged AAAAA Les Paul and post it on here, as I would if I needed to cry for help.

ICBM

Throwing yourself in front of a train isn't a cry for help or a suicide attempt, and I can guarantee that he was having a worse day than you are.

crunchman

Not nice.  I work for LU and a colleague used to work on stations and had to deal with the aftermatch of a few PUTs (Person Under Train - it has its own acronym).

Not all are successful.  There was one incident on the tube where someone jumped from a bridge and fell between the two tracks.  There was another where someone jumped out and upwards and hit the door on the front of the cab and ended up in the cab with the driver.

On a more lighthearted note this one has to be the best:


http://now-here-this.timeout.com/2014/01/23/victoria-line-concrete-flooded-signal-room-photos-not-a-hoax/

Gassage

No, it's not nice. Actually the driver is seriously shaken and is being calmed by the paramedics as I type. I feel very sorry for him because he will see that image over and over again. Paramedics doing a top job. I really do sympathise with the poor old driver though.

crunchman

Gassage said:

No, it's not nice. Actually the driver is seriously shaken and is being calmed by the paramedics as I type. I feel very sorry for him because he will see that image over and over again. Paramedics doing a top job. I really do sympathise with the poor old driver though.

It's horrible for the drivers.  I know someone who gave up being a driver because he was worried about someone jumping in front of him.

The job I really would not want to do is work for LU's Emergency Response Unit.  They have to go to these situations and clear afterwards.  I don't know how much they get paid but it's probably not enough.

Gassage

I'm actually not quite sure where we are- 15 mins out of Marylebone? On way to Brum. Not nice. Why anyone would want to do it is beyond me.

ICBM

I do have most sympathy for the driver as well as the dead man. Sadly, the state of mind of someone who jumps in front of a train is probably not up to thinking about that - it's not a deliberately selfish act as such. There's a big difference between a 'suicide attempt' of the sort you mean, and taking an action which will definitely be fatal with a high degree of certainty.

RocknRollDave

Gassage said:

I'm actually not quite sure where we are- 15 mins out of Marylebone? On way to Brum. Not nice. Why anyone would want to do it is beyond me.

Do what....come to Birmingham...? No, I have no idea either....

Gassage

Hmmm....I have a lot more for the driver than the leaper. One had a choice, one didn't. But I also understand where you're coming from and yes, massive difference between threatening it and doing it. Very annoying...if this continues I'll start looking at Peach, Coda and World Guitars and then I'll be totally fucked.

mike_l

RocknRollDave said:

Gassage said:

I'm actually not quite sure where we are- 15 mins out of Marylebone? On way to Brum. Not nice. Why anyone would want to do it is beyond me.

Do what....come to Birmingham...? No, I have no idea either....

The best thing about Birmingham is the M5, cos it takes us down to the south-west....

Gassage

This is my anti-penultimate homeward journey on the chiltern line....3 more days....

RocknRollDave

Gassage said:

This is my anti-penultimate homeward journey on the chiltern line....3 more days....

jesus, that IS a delay and a half! No wonder you were pissed off....

Gassage

Very droll, Sir Humphrey. Must not look on Coda.

Gassage

If anyone is interested I've just found out its a 168/1 DMU train. Which has made my day.

mike_l

This might help alleviate the boredom

http://www.coda-music.com/

 

 

frankus

My cousin was a tube driver he got very angry with the jumpers he had
I've a friend who basically said it's the most thorough way of doing the job... not likely to go wrong.

and I've been on two trains where people have thrown themselves under - Romford is a good spot I've heard. Once I saw the front and the other time we all felt something knocking on the bottom of the train.

I pity them, the voice that a suicide victim is killing is not their own - they percieve death as a greater comfort than the shaming voice droning on in their head.

Phil_aka_Pip

I dislike the way the police disrupt the rail service until they have found ALL the body parts of the deceased. Why don't they wait until the last train has gone in the evening and look for them then? It's not as if the deceased is going to need them or that he can be resuscitated by sewing his arms & legs back on.

chillidoggy

My mate Stu used to work on the station at Shepherdswell. On Thursday mornings, a train known as 'The Pension Special' used to come down the line to Dover, stopping at all the piss-pot little villages on the way, filled by OAP's. It was always late because the pensioners used to take so long to get on the train, and Stu used to announce various different bullshitexcuses over the station tannoy including such classics as -

"Cow on the line at Teynham."

"It's not this train that's late, it's the next one that's early."

"Points failure at Cockfosters."

"Train driver injured by a British Rail sandwich falling on his foot at Snowdown."

These were only a few of Stu's extensive repertoire of fictious apologies, which were usually dreamt up on the spot.

The majority of the would-be travellers stood on the platform were entertained, apart from one old woman who, after Stu had announced that the Pension Special would be late due to it having been "attacked by Red Indians at Faversham", made an official complaint, and he was sacked by the stationmaster, who hated him.

 When the landlady of the local boozer where the stationmaster used to drink heard what had happened, she banned him from the pub, and told him the only way he could get back in was to reinstate Stu. Still, they say every dog has its day.

mike_l

Because they have to investigate as if it's a murder instead of a suicide. Running trains over the spot coud damage forensic evidence.

 

Panama_Jack666

Not necessarily a suicide attempt. I know of a situation where a school girl and fallen onto the line (by accident) in front of a train. I've also been made aware of people being pushed in front of trains. The police won't be 'pedantically insisting they're scraped off the train' but more likely treating it as a crime scene until it can proven it was an attempt at suicide under his/her free will.

VimFuego

I always think it's the height of self obsession.

 

Not suicide, but complaining about it cos it's made you a little bit late.