Who's the most interesting person you've met/sat next to on a flight/train?

JerkMoans

Not quite 'sat next to', but...

Early 1996.  India.  

I was recently married to the fair Mrs Moans ("TFMM"), who hails originally from that alluring land.  We'd taken a trip (on Uzbek Airlines, transferring via Tashkent, which is a whole other story) to meet the extended family.  So they could check my teeth, as it were, as one might a horse for sale in the Classifieds.

Anyway.  It just so happened that our trip coincided with the Cricket World Cup, many matches of which were taking place in India (I seem to recall some were in Pakistan as well, as a sort of Sports for Peace initiative).  Quite livened the place up, in a cricket-mad nation.

Internal flight from New Delhi to Patna: I noticed a bunch of large, strapping caucasian lads joining us, each clad in some sort of uniform of chino type trousers and green polo shirts.  Which, by one of those coincidences, more or less mirrored my own sartorial splendour.

We take off.  The pilot announces words to the effect of 'ladies and gents., let's have a big hand for our honoured guests, the Zimbabwean International Cricket Team!'  For, being a nation in Southern Africa, of course that is where those strapping caucasian lads hailed from.

We land.  There's a brass band playing on the tarmac to welcome the honoured guests, who are ushered towards a receiving line of local worthies and so forth, as the rest of the passengers start to trudge towards the arrivals building.

As I accompanied TFMM down the steps to exit the plane, not immediately understanding what was happening, I was suddenly politely but firmly grabbed by a couple of attendants and ushered towards the brass band goings-on, paparazzi cameras a-clicking, and so forth, while the rest of the passengers were kept strictly apart, heading for baggage collection.

I was equally politely but firmly ushered into the mass of green polo shirt attired, chino sporting young men, shaking the hands of local MPs, mayors, sports administrators and so on.  Realisation slowly dawning, as the Zimbabwean cricket team started nudging one another and asking 'who the hell is this guy..?'

Meanwhile TFMM, being rather more swift on the uptake than I, had twigged what was happening and was enthusiastically trying to get to me through the throng, to pull me away and minimise further embarrassment all round.  Equally enthusiastic were the attendant security chaps, who perceived some deranged cricket groupie trying to get her hands on some hunky Zimbabwean athletes, and were resolute in their scheme to repel her.

All took a bit of good-natured sorting out, once we managed to persuade people that (a) I was not an amnesiac athlete from the suburbs of Harare, and (b) it had not been a deliberate set-up by some Dom Joly prankster type.

But for the next couple of days, the local Patna and wider Bihari press was full of pictures of your humble correspondent grinning like a Cheshire Cat at the end of a line of professional cricketers, meeting the local MLAs.

Never did get to bat, though.

Telejester

I had to give a lift to a highly intelligent university doctor with not a trace of personality or human warmth. Talk about crushing silence with sound of crickets in the background for the longest 10 miles of my life. He was known to us as Borethur.

cm01

Was at Kings Cross train station in Sydney when I was backpacking and living there in ‘96 … I’d partaken in some very strong grass earlier that day which was really trippy.  As I got on the train, Nick Seymour, bass player for Crowded House got on… he gave me an ‘alright guv wink and nod…  I gave him one back and rode into the city in my own little trippy world.  What a claim to fame eh?

Tannin

Mrs Tannin.

Next question please.

Tannin

@JerkMoans, that is one of the truly great yarns. 

boogieman

Kurtis said:

There was a guy across from me on the train the other day kept popping his glass eye out.

He was pretty "interesting".

Maybe he was hoping you’d catch his eye? 

#coat. 

boogieman

Nobody interesting. Bride of Boogie and self were once on a package holiday to Greece and there was lots of nudging and whispering going on in the queue for the gate about some minor celeb woman who was on our flight with her mum. Some reality show star with silicone tits, fake nails and peroxide hair, I had no idea who she was. She ended up sitting in the row in front of us and got approached by a few people. Her and her mum slowly got hammered on Prosecco and fell asleep. Exciting eh? 

VimFuego

I once stood next to one of the Mitchell brothers from Eastenders in a 2nd hand bookshop, but it wasn't a means of mass transportation, so probably doesn't count.

StefB

VimFuego said:

I once sat next to a chap on a train who had ridden every Class 37 deltic locomotive in the fleet and was steadily working his way through the Class 55's. Never got his name, but boy did he have some stories to tell. 

Pedant alert, the Class 55 is the Deltic.

VimFuego said:

victorludorum said:

My dad took a flight from Australia where he was sat next to Michael Hutchence. Nice guy, he said, but he didn't have a clue who he was!

why didn't Hutchense know who your dad is?

He'd been drinking in excess.

Haych

For some reason I always seem to sit next to the nutter or the mentally unstable whenever I use the train/coach/plane.

Should probably stop taking the wife with me.

Kilgore

VimFuego said:

I once stood next to one of the Mitchell brothers from Eastenders in a 2nd hand bookshop, but it wasn't a means of mass transportation, so probably doesn't count.

You can't leave it at that. Was it Phil or Grant?

VimFuego

Kilgore said:

VimFuego said:

I once stood next to one of the Mitchell brothers from Eastenders in a 2nd hand bookshop, but it wasn't a means of mass transportation, so probably doesn't count.

You can't leave it at that. Was it Phil or Grant?

not sure, the one who is less famous. Not the one who does the military and police shows

Hurling_Fruitmig

EricTheWeary said:

If I can count the ferry (and not quite next to) but five weeks ago:

https://imgur.com/a/b3ZeH55

I'm disappointed that he isn't being filmed by a chap with a wind-up cine camera under a cloth hood - the faux New Elizabethan charlatan.

Kilgore

VimFuego said:

Kilgore said:

VimFuego said:

I once stood next to one of the Mitchell brothers from Eastenders in a 2nd hand bookshop, but it wasn't a means of mass transportation, so probably doesn't count.

You can't leave it at that. Was it Phil or Grant?

not sure, the one who is less famous. Not the one who does the military and police shows

Ah, got you.That's Phil, who is still married to Sharon but not with her even though he's the father of Alby.

 He didn't know that coz everyone thought Keanu was the father as he was having an affair with Sharon. Keanu was killed in the Vic on Christmas day  by Linda after the argument at the wedding when Sharon found out that Keanu was the kidnapper of Alby. Linda stabbed him because he was trying to strangle Sharon. 

He was buried under the floor of the caff, but discovered months later during the renovation after the fire. Of course Phil eventually found out and so did Jack, who dug up the body to get Denise's necklace that was dropped in when they were burying Keanu. Of course Denise was with Jack before that and she is also the mother of Raymond who is also Phil's son. Of course Ben, Phil's other son is in jail in the US for fraud trying to get money for Lola's cancer treatment. Kathy, who was also married to Phil is Ben's mum. She went out to see him in prison. She was in the pub as well when Keanu was murdered and helped cover it up.

Grant has lived in  Portugal for years now, but he was married to Sharon before Phil but that's another story....

There you go. Happy to help.

VimFuego

@Kilgore thanks for that dude, not sure how I've lived not knowing any of that!!!

Kilgore

VimFuego said:

@Kilgore thanks for that dude, not sure how I've lived not knowing any of that!!!

My pleasure! 

Sesh

Some 20, no (fuck) 30, years ago, I was a spotty student on a train towards London from Devon. At a stop this Colombo looking chap got on and sat opposite me on the table seat I'd bagged. We chatted a bit and not long after the trolley went passed and he bought himself a can of lager. He necked that saying "he always like a drink on a train," despite the fact I assumed he was going somewhere for business. After that the hip flask came out serruptitiously. Unsurprisingly, he was quite chatty by this point. He admitted this was his regular route and behaviour, and once he fell asleepon a train and woke up in Glasgow. I do wonder what happened to him. 

Another chap I met said he was a songwriter. He said he had a song that some band was going to Record. I can't now remember the details, but the song was called something like "three little words" and the band were the sons of someone famous. I had no reason to think it was lies, but I've never been able to link it to anything. My big worry is that the songwriter was someone really famous and I was oblivious. I'm not ruling out Ray Dorset. He had that sort of look, but I doubt I'll ever know... 

EricTheWeary

Hurling_Fruitmig said:

EricTheWeary said:

If I can count the ferry (and not quite next to) but five weeks ago:

https://imgur.com/a/b3ZeH55

I'm disappointed that he isn't being filmed by a chap with a wind-up cine camera under a cloth hood - the faux New Elizabethan charlatan.

It was quite odd. JRM, Mrs JRM and a couple of the kids. Jacob being filmed standing in a dog toilet looking out to sea whilst our dog barked at him. I don't think the French people recognised him (the chap looking at his phone was a French man seemingly wearing only his underwear, as if that wasn't odd enough) or were particularly phased by a film crew being there. Using bloody Eurotunel next time. 

Bod

VimFuego said:

I once sat next to a chap on a train who had ridden every Class 37 deltic locomotive in the fleet and was steadily working his way through the Class 55's. Never got his name, but boy did he have some stories to tell. 

Was he a Geordie?  I know a few Deltic bashers.

DLM

Slebs on trains: David Bellamy, Leon Brittan

More interesting was some poor lass on her mobile desperately trying to be a "journalist" for a sleb mag, chasing some sleb gossip while trying to remain a reasonable and polite human being. I felt really sorry for her.