Facebook Illusion

EricTheWeary

I never had any friends to start with so keeping in touch via Facebook has never been an issue. :o3

Chuffola

holnrew said:

. I don't now why, I think I've just accepted I'm a failure.

See, to my mind that kind of post is just as bad as the worst of Facebook. The "X is feeling depressed" type status which is only intended to invite " oh, hon. What's up babes? xxx" kind of responses.

I can see no other reason why anyone would post that kind of statement on a forum.

mart

Chuffola said:

I can see no other reason why anyone would post that kind of statement on a forum.

Then, with the greatest respect, I would ask you to exercise your imagination more. I'm sure some people would make such statements to grab attention, but others would make them because that is sincerely what they feel, and they have no-one else that they feel comfortable saying such things to.

If you really are feeling depressed, it's the easiest thing in the world to just hide yourself away, but it doesn't help. On the other hand, to reach out and say "help, I'm depressed" (or "help me if you can, I'm feeling down" if you prefer) can be the healthiest thing to do in the circumstances.

Of course, some people abuse that, and ask for your sympathy ever other day, but that doesnt mean that it's never honest, genuine, and appropriate.

bingefeller

Good thread guys with some very interesting comments.  

I don't use Facebook myself these days.  I did set up a profile for a while but I made a really stupid mistake with it and decided to get rid of it.  

It did make me miserable when I saw people I went to school with who are married / have kids / are better travelled and have a better social life than me.  

holnrew

Chuffola said:

holnrew said:

. I don't now why, I think I've just accepted I'm a failure.

See, to my mind that kind of post is just as bad as the worst of Facebook. The "X is feeling depressed" type status which is only intended to invite " oh, hon. What's up babes? xxx" kind of responses.

I can see no other reason why anyone would post that kind of statement on a forum.

Well, no. I know I can get help and support from people on the forum whenever I want, and if I do, I ask directly (and I have done). Sometimes I kind of use forum posts as a way of thinking "out loud", that's all this was, take nothing from it.

joeyowen

Like most things, it is exactly what you make of it.  

If you don't like someone who boasts/whines/shares random Lebanese pictures all the time... block them or unfriend them

People complain about Facebook all the time and I've never understood why, it is only a connection to people you know.  Maybe it is the people you don't like, not Facebook?

LastMantra

holnrew said:

I used to get bothered by people being happy getting married and having kids, working in proper careers and earning money, but it doesn't any more. I don't now why, I think I've just accepted I'm a failure.

It doesn't bother me any more because I realised I don't actually want those things.

If that's what you want then fair enough but I pity people that are in debt up their eyeballs, unhappy relationships and unfulfilling jobs because they think that's "success". How about a bit of variety, why do we think we need to all do the same thing as each other?

bingefeller

joeyowen said:

Like most things, it is exactly what you make of it.  

If you don't like someone who boasts/whines/shares random Lebanese pictures all the time... block them or unfriend them

People complain about Facebook all the time and I've never understood why, it is only a connection to people you know.  Maybe it is the people you don't like, not Facebook?

I think Facebook brings out the worst in some people.  

TimmyO

stickyfiddle;444535" said:

VimFuego;444533" said:if it wasn't for facebook, I'd never know just how good great western trains are.



You must be friends with @Timmyo too, them?

TimmyO

stickyfiddle said:

VimFuego;444533" said:

if it wasn't for facebook, I'd never know just how good great western trains are.

You must be friends with @Timmyo too, them?

I hate to break it to you but I'm not travelling this week.

I'll try and find something equally entertaining for you.

Lixarto

bingefeller said:

I think Facebook brings out the worst in some people.  

And some people are just nasty pieces of work.

stickyfiddle

TimmyO said:

stickyfiddle said:

VimFuego;444533" said:

if it wasn't for facebook, I'd never know just how good great western trains are.

You must be friends with @Timmyo too, them?

I hate to break it to you but I'm not travelling this week.

I'll try and find something equally entertaining for you.

I do rather like your travel updates. Makes me miss London a lot less!

not_the_dj

Don't encourage him Mike!

guitarfishbay

I can understand why FB can make people unhappy.  I sometimes scroll through my feed and wonder 'why am I looking at some of this crap?'

In a lot of cases people are just presenting an online persona which represents how they want to be seen, kind of like a self PR campaign.  Or, they're just updating the good stuff and leaving out the bad.  Or a mix of both...

Reads like this -

Achievement!

Funny thing of note!

Wise quote!

Political statement!

Life Milestone!

Picture where I look good/successful/wise/funny/well travelled

etc.

But life isn't like that 24/7 and we all know it, I guess sometimes our minds forget to fill in the blanks (normal every day stuff) between each post and it can feel like everyone has a positive and successful day every day.  When you're down, thinking that can be destructive.  But everyone has days where nothing much happens, or you put a lot of time and effort in to something and it doesn't work out, or you feel a bit crap, or the food you made/bought doesn't taste as good as you hoped etc - most people don't update that stuff though.  On FB it is like a never ending machine gun of all the people you know saying 'great' things at different times - so we read it as everyone is happy (all the time).  

When really it is just lots of different people sharing their achievements/thoughts/pictures/etc at different times which makes it look like a constant stream of everyone else is happy.

When you're down you've got to do something positive about it.  If staying of FB is a positive action for you then do it - you can spend the time doing more fun stuff like playing guitar instead.

jonnyburgo

I consciously don't post about my awesome life much on facebook because it looks like I'm bragging. On here I show off like a bastard though. I'm not arsed about frets either.

451 Lol's aint bad tho, lol

axisus

I rarely post, but keep in touch with a few good people from the past via FB. I was friends with a guy from school, we met up this summer and had a great time reminiscing after over 30 years of not seeing each other. Sadly, I went to his funeral today. Only 51. He was the main commenter on my stuff, I just don't feel like bothering any more.

blueskunk

I'm with emp.

blueskunk

@richardhomer forget Facebook and come to this side of town. Treat u to a few pints

Bidley

Some people's thoughts make me smile. Facebook is exactly what you make of it, as some have already said. It's like hating a telephone because the person on the other end is insulting you.

jonnyburgo

I mostly post videos and links to anti-animal cruelty petitions that nobody comments on.