My Wife's Spoonerisms...

equalsql

My wife,  comes out with some great spoonerisms every now and then.
A great one was said this morning when she was checking out the 80's retro funk band 'Ekkah'
She  was so impressed she mean't to say that their music was from the 'Life-book of funk', but it came out as

the 'Life fook of bunk' ...genius.

Almost as good as the time she asked me to get a 'fucket ball of water' 

Any of your loved ones come out with great verbal mistakes?

xHymnal

A favourite of mine was my brother once jokingly reprimanding my mum and saying "come on mum!" To which my mother cluelessly replied "don't come on me!". Laughing felt wrong but it was just so innocently disgusting.

Alnico

Back in the lovely old days of our Family living together and my Dad alive and well, my Mum asked my little brother for a crisp from the bag he'd just opened and he said "No". Without a second thought she (The woman who NEVER swears) just matter of fact said......

"Aw come on Shitbag, give us a crisp !"

She then almost collapsed in horror at what she'd done but it was way too late for us two boys and my Dad.

For the rest of time, if we asked her for anything and she said no, ANYONE within earshot would shout out "Aw, come on Shitbag" !!!

We still do it now, although way less often but it's remained one of our Family jokes since the mid 80's.

CabbageCat

Not really a spoonerism but I still cringe at the time I was introduced to a couple my sister knows while I was a but tipsy and during small talk I meant to ask about their jobs by saying, "What do each of you do?" but it came out as, "What do you do to each other?" I think I went very red.

Nunogilberto

One of my work colleagues saying "we'll give you the denefit of the bout"...

My nan walking into Game years ago, shopping for a Christmas present for my cousin - she asked if they sold "those Nintendo Play Boys..."

Another one from my nan - thinking that to start an ice hockey game was to "puck off"...

Handsome_Chris

I remember once trying to explain to the GF that we couldn't have the dinner we wanted due to a 'lack of pies'.  Unfortunately I said "I've never loved you, my skin crawls every time you touch me."

equalsql

Handsome_Chris said:

I remember once trying to explain to the GF that we couldn't have the dinner we wanted due to a 'lack of pies'.  Unfortunately I said "I've never loved you, my skin crawls every time you touch me."

Bugger... I spilled my coffee, wasn't expecting that  )

boogieman

My ex's ancient old aunty was always coming out with stuff like this. A couple of memorable ones were "I got stuck on one of those escanumerators at the shopping centre" and "Brian couldn't pick me up in his car after all, he's burnt his crutch out".

hobbio

Not a spoonerism, but...

We were talking at work about PE at school and how they'd make you play in your undies if you forgot your kit, when one of the ladies said to my colleague Phil "Well, if you don't hit target today I'm going to make you come in your pants tomorrow". It took her about 20 minutes to realise why we were all falling about...

holnrew

What's a loved one?

TinLip

My boss says "for all intention purposes". Not a spoonerism, he's just thick.

Phil_aka_Pip

hobbio said:

Not a spoonerism, but...

We were talking at work about PE at school and how they'd make you play in your undies if you forgot your kit, when one of the ladies said to my colleague Phil "Well, if you don't hit target today I'm going to make you come in your pants tomorrow". It took her about 20 minutes to realise why we were all falling about...

Reminds me of a lady in a previous job who took quite a while to realise why we all fell about after she said "Contraception is a pain in the arse" 

Emp_Fab

mike_l

TinLip said:

My boss says "for all intention purposes". Not a spoonerism, he's just thick.

I have a colleague who can't say "my bad", he says "my bag". thick twat

hobbio

Phil_aka_Pip said:

hobbio said:

Not a spoonerism, but...

We were talking at work about PE at school and how they'd make you play in your undies if you forgot your kit, when one of the ladies said to my colleague Phil "Well, if you don't hit target today I'm going to make you come in your pants tomorrow". It took her about 20 minutes to realise why we were all falling about...

Reminds me of a lady in a previous job who took quite a while to realise why we all fell about after she said "Contraception is a pain in the arse" 

Handsome_Chris

holnrew;472516" said:

What's a loved one?

What is this thing you hu-mons call love?

Hootsmon

equalsql said:

My wife,  comes out with some great spoonerisms every now and then.
A great one was said this morning when she was checking out the 80's retro funk band 'Ekkah'
She  was so impressed she mean't to say that their music was from the 'Life-book of funk', but it came out as

the 'Life fook of bunk' ...genius.

Almost as good as the time she asked me to get a 'fucket ball of water' 

Any of your loved ones come out with great verbal mistakes?

"I do"

Hootsmon

not a spoonywotsit but fun nevertheless.....

TV celebrity Jade Goody complaining that she was always made the escaped goat

chillidoggy

A work colleague says 'pacifically' instead of specifically, and 'penultimately' instead of ultimately. Grinds my gears every time.

breakstuff

hootsmon said:

not a spoonywotsit but fun nevertheless.....

TV celebrity Jade Goody complaining that she was always made the escaped goat

She was the one from East Angular wasn't she?

Handsome_Chris

breakstuff said:

hootsmon said:

not a spoonywotsit but fun nevertheless.....

TV celebrity Jade Goody complaining that she was always made the escaped goat

She was the one from East Angular wasn't she?

Yes, that's her. Mates with Shilpa Poppadom. Edit: I'd like to qualify that comment by pointing out that was a reference to Ms Goody's comment on Celebrity Big Brother.