Do you wear a mask?

axisus

Metaphorically speaking. I was shy and quiet as a kid and with no confidence. In my late 20s I decided to pretend to be confident, and it made a massive difference. When people perceive you as confident they treat you better generally speaking. At 51, people think that I am confident, but deep down I still lack confidence. People don't believe me if I tell them (which is rare) that its all a front, so it's definitely working! Anyone else have a facade to their life?

Grunfeld

I think most people present a bit of a front to the world and function just fine.

But for some the false self takes over.  Inauthenticity brings a bunch of problems.

As it happens this is very much the area I want to do more work in. 

d8m

Yeh.

You have rumbled my identity:

VimFuego

hell, I even wear a mask to myself never mind the outside world.

JookyChap

I can, but tend to charge extra

bingefeller

Yes. I am very quiet and lack confidence on the outside and inside but I have done a few things (nothing illegal) that I haven't told anyone about and they would be shocked if I did as it wouldn't be what they expect from me. I guess it came about as a result of my shyness really

Sambostar

Deep down I am probably more than a bit unhinged and really I like to talk about myself a lot,  but I don't think anybody seems to notice.

hobbio

I'm very much what you see is what you get. I can tone it down for polite company and I don't act like an arse generally but I'm fairly confident with who I am.

jd0272

Sambostar said:

Deep down I am probably more than a bit unhinged and really I like to talk about myself a lot,  but I don't think anybody seems to notice.

A bit unhinged? If ye resided in, ooooh, let's see, Alabama for example, where there's guns and that, you'd probably be a good decade into a life sentence in chokey  

(Think of the trucks tho, phwoar!)

Sambostar

I like Alabama, have to watch those gators eating your dog from your back yard though.

Sambostar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd4fj9Efl4s

jd0272

Sambostar said:

I like Alabama, have to watch those gators eating your dog from your back yard though.

Oddly enough, on Cats Do The Funniest Things (some shite on the telly coupla weeks gone, the kids love it), there's a wee cat that trounces two huge fckn gators. Most amusing!

breakstuff

I'm quite shy and extremely introverted.That's why I like this place so much.I find it hard to show the inner me in real life but find it alot easier on here.

Moss

Metaphorically no... physically yes 

chillidoggy

jd0272 said:

Sambostar said:

Deep down I am probably more than a bit unhinged and really I like to talk about myself a lot,  but I don't think anybody seems to notice.

A bit unhinged? If ye resided in, ooooh, let's see, Alabama for example, where there's guns and that, you'd probably be a good decade into a life sentence in chokey  

(Think of the trucks tho, phwoar!)

What are you talking about? He'd fit in a treat.

Hootsmon

bucketheid as they say in glasgow

monquixote

I suspect you might say

• You have a great need for other people to like and admire you.
  
• You have a tendency to be critical of yourself.
  
• You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage.
  
• While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them.
  
• Your sexual adjustment has presented problems for you.
  
• Disciplined and self-controlled outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure inside.
  
• At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing.
  
• You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations.
  
• You pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof.
  
• You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others.
  
• At times you are extroverted, affable, sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, reserved.
  
• Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic.
  
• Security is one of your major goals in life.
  

Moss

I have to keep the fact that I'm a highly wanted sociopath a secret from the outside world...

VimFuego

Moss said:

I have to keep the fact that I'm a highly wanted sociopath a secret from the outside world...

sought, not wanted. There is a difference.

Grunfeld

@monquixote ; will I meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger in the next four weeks? 

holnrew

I don't, I don't know how to. The whole concept seems foreign. Just "act" confident? But that requires confidence. I don't know, it's probably just me being a brain spaz. It's just too hard.

I'm working on actual confidence and learning to like myself.