Friday humour

TheMarlin

TheMarlin

DesVegas said:

it's
Not
FRIDAY!!

Emp_Fab

rogd said:

 What's all this about ?  I keep seeing posts like this here.

DCS222

Emp_Fab said:

rogd said:

 What's all this about ?  I keep seeing posts like this here.

It’s a poke at Bojo’s BYOB “office” meeting.

Snags

Emp_Fab said:

rogd said:

 What's all this about ?  I keep seeing posts like this here.

Assuming you mean the alt text showing rather then the image, it's because the image can't display for some reason and it's being replaced with holding text so it's not just totally blank. 

axisus

Haych

Winny_Pooh

axisus

Stupid people part 1:

bobeschism

TheMarlin

relic245

bertie

rogd

maltingsaudio

https://imgur.com/gallery/voDwroR 

bacchanalian

Courtesy of the late Barry Cryer

A husband and wife are sitting at a bus stop

Wife: That is the Archbishop of Canterbury over there

Husband: No, I don’t think so.

Wife: Go and ask him

Husband goes to ask the man if he is the Archbishop

Husband: Are you the Archbishop of Canterbury?

Man: FUCK OFF!

Husband returns to wife

Wife: Well, what did he say?

Husband: He told me to FUCK OFF!

Wife: Oh, I suppose we will never know then.

Kittyfrisk

Another Barry Cryer tribute.

“A wife is in the bathroom trying on a new dress. 
She comes out and says to her husband:
‘Does my bum look big in this?’

He says: ‘Oh be fair, love, it’s quite a small bathroom.’

TheOtherDennis

Another Barry Cryer tribute.

A chap goes into a pet shop, and he's looking round, not sure what to buy. He has a chat with the shopkeeper about what's for sale, and then spots a cage with a blanket over it.

"What's in that?"

"It's a parrot, but I wouldn't recommend it. It used to be in a brothel, until the place got raided, and it's picked up some pretty raw language."

They have a chat about it, and the guy decides he'll have the parrot, saying it'll brighten the place up, and it could be pretty funny.

"Well ok, if you're sure, but I have to give you some advice. First of all, don't take the blanket off till you get home. It's not happy about losing its old home, and we put the blanket over the cage to stop it swearing all the time. I suggest that when you get it home, introduce the family one at a time, so it's not overwhelmed."

"Sure" he says. And gets his first taste when he picks up the cage "Fuck me, it's a fucking earthquake!" yells the parrot.

He eventually gets it home, puts it in the living room and explains to his wife and daughter about it, and how they need to go in one at a time.

The wife goes in, lifts the blanket and the parrot says "Fuck me, the place has gone up in the world, this is fucking smart."

The daughter goes in, and the parrot says "Fucking 'ell, the girls are getting younger than ever these days."

Then the husband goes in and the parrot says "Oh hello, Bruce."

bertie

axisus