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Friday humour
Base theme by DesignModo & ported to Powered by Vanilla by Chris Ireland, modified by the "theFB" team.
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Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
Something went wrong in Jet crash, experts say
Police begin campaign to run down jay-walkers
Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
Panda mating fails; Vetinarian takes over
Miners refuse to work after death
Juvenile Court to try shooting defendant
War dims hope of peace
If Strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while
Cold wave linked to temperature
Enfield couple slain; Police suspect Homicide
Red tape holds up new bridges
Man struck by lightning: faces battery charge
New study of obesity looks for larger test group
Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft
Kids make delicious snacks
Local high- school drop- outs cut in half
Hospitals are sued by seven foot doctors
Typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
Man with a goatee beard wearing wearing a beret and a black polo neck walks into a music shop. The 20'yr old assistant asks if he can help.
"Yes. I hope you can. I'm looking for a Gibson guitar."
"Any particular type, sir?"
"An electric solid body with three single coils. A five way selector switch. One volume and two tone knobs. Double cutaway with a maple neck."
"Er... have you thought about a Stratocaster?"
The man turns red and stamps his foot. "I'm a jazz guitarist. I wouldn't go near a Fender!"
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother.
"Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would."
He then goes to his sister's room.
"Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
She replies, "O my god! Definitely!"
The kid goes back to his father.
"Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."
She was in charge of the hops ....
Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
'What's wrong?' he asks.
His friend looks up and says 'My life is in ruins - I've lost everything and owe more than I ever thought possible'.
'That's terrible, how did this happen?'
'Well, I bet £10,000 on a horse that came in dead last. I also bet £3000 on a dog that didn't even finish. I put £8000 on Liverpool to beat Man City and they were routed. I put £12,000 on Vettel to win the Grand Prix and he came in third and I put £25,000 on Federer to win the tennis and he went out in the quarters. My life is over; I don't have that sort of money, and if I don't kill myself, they'll do it for me'
'Well' the man says, 'as you're in so deep why don't you have one last hail-mary and see if you can make it all back in one of the fights tonight?'
'In one of the fights? Are you out of your mind? I don't know anything about boxing!'
Police hold man over dead body
Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!