Damage control - advice needed

DLM

First I've ever heard of a push present.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Push_present

Seems to be "a thing".

An abhorrent thing, if you ask me.

Especially as OP sounds like he's doing a stellar job.

Richardj

DLM said:

First I've ever heard of a push present.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Push_present

Seems to be "a thing".

An abhorrent thing, if you ask me.

Especially as OP sounds like he's doing a stellar job.

WTF!!!!

Way too TOWIE Made in Chelsea WAG.  What happened to people just wanting a child and being happy?

guitarfishbay

Could you not suggest investing some additional money for the benefit of the child as the push present?  In a savings account or similar?

Richardj

Richardj said:

DLM said:

First I've ever heard of a push present.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Push_present

Seems to be "a thing".

An abhorrent thing, if you ask me.

Especially as OP sounds like he's doing a stellar job.

WTF!!!!

Way too TOWIE Made in Chelsea WAG.  What happened to people just wanting a child and being happy?

I expect a bit of a flaming for this......  Would your wife have agreed to have a child with you if you weren't going to 'pay' her with expensive gifts?  Was that as important as having a healthy child?

That is an extreme way of putting it perhaps but the whole 'expecting' an expensive present makes it look that way to a simple fellow like me.  Sorry.

We are just happy to have a child that we love.

lloyd

DLM said:

First I've ever heard of a push present.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Push_present

Seems to be "a thing".

An abhorrent thing, if you ask me.

Especially as OP sounds like he's doing a stellar job.

I've just clicked that link-pretty fucked up IMO, my girlfriend wanted to get married and I always said I couldn't afford to throw hundreds down on a piece of metal and stone-besides which, what the fuck does the man get? I told her to buy me Fender Jaguar and I'd get an engagement ring.

Were not together now (unsurprisingly) but the whole concept is pretty vulgar to me, but then again I'm not huge on material presents either.

I think if the unthinkable happened and my significant other was pushing for a push present I'd be getting her a gym membership to get that baby body back into shape, that'd learn her

menamestom

The best push present I know of was when my dad brought my then pregnant mother to the hospital to have me.  He dropped her at the front entrance then pushed the accelerator so hard the car wheels spun and the car shot off into the distance.

Now that's a fucking push present.

He came back 2 days later, so it wasn't that bad.

JezWynd

CHrisP86 said:

Thanks. She is down at the moment because it's taking her a while to recover and heal. She also says she doesn't feel normal so she probably didn't really appreciate the change/impact having a baby would cause. I know her mum has told her she won't feel like she did before but just has to get used to a new 'normal'. I have done quite a lot of the baby care. She was knackered after the delivery so I essentially did all night feeding for easily the first two weeks while on paternity and shared it when I first went back to work. Now he has more of a routine a typical weekday would be me getting up at 4.30/5ish (if the baby is awake then) to feed him, off to work at 6am, home at 5pm when I am handed the baby and in charge for the most of the evening until he goes to bed. I then do all night feeds at the weekends and get up whenever the baby wakes up. My wife goes off to pilates on Saturday morning so i really look after him most of Saturday. It's not unusual for me to do pretty much every feed/nappy change over the weekend. When he naps I then try and do things like wash up/unload the dishwasher etc. I think I do a really fair share and I have always acknowledged that it is tough looking after a baby all week. I can try and do more. I agree that trying to buy something now is a no-win. Probably just trying to organise some date nights is a good idea. Re push presents. Yes, these seem to be the norm now!

If you're not careful you'll find she's knackered for the next twenty years. You sound like a model of modern parenthood, can't say the same for your partner.

marantz1300

  

Way too TOWIE Made in Chelsea WAG.  What happened to people just wanting a child and being happy?                                                                                                                              

I'm getting on a bit.When did all this Princess shit start?

guitarfishbay

lloyd said:

DLM said:

First I've ever heard of a push present.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Push_present

Seems to be "a thing".

An abhorrent thing, if you ask me.

Especially as OP sounds like he's doing a stellar job.

I've just clicked that link-pretty fucked up IMO, my girlfriend wanted to get married and I always said I couldn't afford to throw hundreds down on a piece of metal and stone-besides which, what the fuck does the man get? I told her to buy me Fender Jaguar and I'd get an engagement ring.

Were not together now (unsurprisingly) but the whole concept is pretty vulgar to me, but then again I'm not huge on material presents either.

I think if the unthinkable happened and my significant other was pushing for a push present I'd be getting her a gym membership to get that baby body back into shape, that'd learn her

A guy I know got told it had to be a Tiffany diamond ring or she'd say no. So he asked for a Rolex. They were both skint for a while... I don't get it but thankfully my g/f thinks the same 

lloyd

guitarfishbay said:

lloyd said:

DLM said:

First I've ever heard of a push present.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Push_present

Seems to be "a thing".

An abhorrent thing, if you ask me.

Especially as OP sounds like he's doing a stellar job.

I've just clicked that link-pretty fucked up IMO, my girlfriend wanted to get married and I always said I couldn't afford to throw hundreds down on a piece of metal and stone-besides which, what the fuck does the man get? I told her to buy me Fender Jaguar and I'd get an engagement ring.

Were not together now (unsurprisingly) but the whole concept is pretty vulgar to me, but then again I'm not huge on material presents either.

I think if the unthinkable happened and my significant other was pushing for a push present I'd be getting her a gym membership to get that baby body back into shape, that'd learn her

A guy I know got told it had to be a Tiffany diamond ring or she'd say no. So he asked for a Rolex. They were both skint for a while... I don't get it but thankfully my g/f thinks the same 

Weird isn't it? Buy something you can't afford to get something they can't afford that you'd never buy for yourself every Xmas....i nipped all that in the bud very early on, I like a holiday as a present not more shoes/jeans.

Chalky

My first wife had a big thing about presents, and they had to be the right present.

Thankfully my second wife doesn't mind if I get it wrong or forget. Consequently she gets a lot more.

Axe_meister

Try and do things together as a family to reassure her you work as a family and you are both taking equal share.
And try and get some normality even with a baby in toe. I've seen some dads take on more responsibility that normal and still holding a full time job, giving their partner lots of free time off (getting grand parents involved, etc), which actually has the opposite effect. They get less bonding time with the child but also come to expect that they are the princess and everything should go their way and they have actually done their part.

Sporky

Chalky said:

My first wife had a big thing about presents, and they had to be the right present.

Thankfully my second wife doesn't mind if I get it wrong or forget. Consequently she gets a lot more.

I bet she loves that hedgetrimmer.

Chalky

Sporky said:

Chalky said:

My first wife had a big thing about presents, and they had to be the right present.

Thankfully my second wife doesn't mind if I get it wrong or forget. Consequently she gets a lot more.

I bet she loves that hedgetrimmer.

True, but I think the mower emblazoned with her name in LEDs is her favourite

ennspek

I bet you didn't get an impregnation present.
Without meaning to sound alarmist have a read on post natal depression. It used to be shrugged off as baby blues but it can be long term and hugely damaging.
That said it's probably just early days readjustment stuff. Take her out for a nice meal or a night away.

d8m

Buy her a new guitar!

marantz1300

My brother bought his wife an ashtray for Christmas once.

It wasn't well received.

Myranda

marantz1300 said:

My brother bought his wife an ashtray for Christmas once.

It wasn't well received.

Did she smoke? 

ESBlonde

It takes a lot out of a woman physically I'm told. Also the sudden realisation that nothing will be the same again and general post natal depression. I too did most of the night feeds and we end care. Herself would have grany babysit in the day so she could have coffee or shop with friends, I got a baby that wouldnt sleep at night because gran had him sleep all day. It nearly killed me working day and being primary care to a non sleeping baby. Post natal depression is a big thing for many women. Have a family day out and picnic walk etc. Set down me time for her and also for you and get a routine so baby goes down at night and you chill together before bed. A bunch of flowers goes a long way.

Sambostar

Fuck her up the arse.  Then tell her drink is more important.  Who organises their life around a women.  Seriously.  Who does?