Damage control - advice needed

Clarky

I'd tell her that she should feel pretty spoilt by the prezzy cos I didn't get one for any of the other girlies I knocked up..

CHrisP86

Thanks again everyone.

I got home from work last night as she was actually fine and I think a bit guilty for flying of the handle so drastically.

She does find it tough but not in the way that she actively avoids looking after our son. She is madly in love with him.

This thread has made me realise that we weren't doing enough together so we talked about it last night and have made a couple of plans and organised babysitters.

professorben

CHrisP86 said:

Thanks again everyone.

I got home from work last night as she was actually fine and I think a bit guilty for flying of the handle so drastically.

She does find it tough but not in the way that she actively avoids looking after our son. She is madly in love with him.

This thread has made me realise that we weren't doing enough together so we talked about it last night and have made a couple of plans and organised babysitters.

This. 
You sound like a stand up chap, and communicating with your partner is the way forward. 
But anytime you need to let off steam, loads of new and experienced dads are here to listen, insult and generally take the piss. 

peteri

Axe_meister said:

Try and do things together as a family to reassure her you work as a family and you are both taking equal share.
And try and get some normality even with a baby in toe. I've seen some dads take on more responsibility that normal and still holding a full time job, giving their partner lots of free time off (getting grand parents involved, etc), which actually has the opposite effect. They get less bonding time with the child but also come to expect that they are the princess and everything should go their way and they have actually done their part.

I think this is perfect advice and I wish I'd read this 23 years ago before the birth of my first child.

Key thing as others have said, it's a partnership - be so careful not to lose that.

I took a lot on myself, all night time changing, full time job (she never had to work), all the shopping etc.

There are many reasons why things don't work out, and I can't blame this approach on my impending divorce - but the above plus post-natal depression doesn't exactly help!

For sure organise baby-sitters etc, but sharing the load must emphasise the sharing aspect