Crap auditions

TheOtherDennis

mudslide73 said:

I had a bad audition about 8-9 years ago. I hadn't played with other people for about 18 months due to becoming a dad and family health reasons. They weren't very nice to me and my fingers seemed leaden.. I just couldn't get going and do my thing. It made me determined to get in a proper band.

In which case you were better off out of it. If they can't remember how nervous they used to be then leave the fuckers alone. The mob I went to were perfectly polite and patient, and whatever they said about me after I left, at least they waited till I was gone.

And cheers, Zap, too kind sir, too kind.

mudslide73

TheOtherDennis said:

mudslide73 said:

I had a bad audition about 8-9 years ago. I hadn't played with other people for about 18 months due to becoming a dad and family health reasons. They weren't very nice to me and my fingers seemed leaden.. I just couldn't get going and do my thing. It made me determined to get in a proper band.

In which case you were better off out of it. If they can't remember how nervous they used to be then leave the fuckers alone. The mob I went to were perfectly polite and patient, and whatever they said about me after I left, at least they waited till I was gone.

I think a lot of it was in my head (maybe yours too). A chance meeting outside Asda with an ex-drummer and his current guitarist (always admired him as a player) got me going again. It turned out we'd all thought about us playing together - it was just finding a way of making it happen. 

There's a band out there just for you... you've just got to find it.

len62

TheOtherDennis said:

mudslide73 said:

I had a bad audition about 8-9 years ago. I hadn't played with other people for about 18 months due to becoming a dad and family health reasons. They weren't very nice to me and my fingers seemed leaden.. I just couldn't get going and do my thing. It made me determined to get in a proper band.

In which case you were better off out of it. If they can't remember how nervous they used to be then leave the fuckers alone. The mob I went to were perfectly polite and patient, and whatever they said about me after I left, at least they waited till I was gone.

And cheers, Zap, too kind sir, too kind.

Agree totally with the better off out of it sentiment. I think of all the people that have auditioned for bands I was in over the years and never once did anyone in those bands give any of them any shit. If they were prepared to give it a go good on them was the attitude that prevailed. Not a thing that was discussed before hand just basic decency.

Maybe I was lucky but I never got any crap when auditioning either. Other wise I would have had some kind words of my own in response.

hywelg

We've auditioned quite a few bass players recently and the band really do have to make an effort to make it stress free for the auditionee, otherwise you might just miss someone  with talent.

We give the chap a list of 6-8 songs and ask them to pick 3. We then let them have mp3s of the versions which we follow the closest, and chords/lyrics sheets for our version. When they arrive we ask them to pick the play order, in the hope they pick the one they're most confident at. After we've played the three songs we generally suggest we jam a simple 12 bar, just to see how they are at following the rest of the band. Maybe we'll jam something else as well if that went well. We had one bass player decline to jam a simple 12 bar in A. That was all we needed to know really.

Then we'll make it clear, by putting our instruments down, that we're finished playing, then we'll chat about what we're aiming for, how many gigs a month, rehearsing, gear, song choices, etc etc. Try and get to know them and such. Then we lie about having someone else coming to audition next week and we'll let them know. It just isn't possible to make a decision with them in the room (apart from one guy who was absolutely brilliant, we wanted him, he wanted to join but we had set his tinnitus off again so had to decline!!, we do play a little loud)

So if you are going to an audition, make it clear you want to be prepared, you want to know what songs, whether there are changes from the studio recording, and if so what they are, especially starts and finishes. If you are going to be asked to solo, make sure you know where and for how long. Make suggestions as above, 3 songs well prepared is better than 8 fudged. Decline to audition songs chucked at you on the night, unless you are really confident. If they suggest 'lets start with', say do you mind if we start with '.....'. Just to get your eye in. If you feel confident about jamming something, just say 'can we set our levels' with a bit of a jam, how about this....

TheOtherDennis

Wish I could have auditioned for your band - the guys I went to that night had sent me three songs in advance, but only the day before! So I had virtually no time to get ready for them, especially as they were playing their own versions of the songs, so if I'd tried to learn them via youtube or anything I'd still have been out of sync. That's one of the reasons I was so nervous, because I didn't know the stuff properly. Then when they wanted to start working on it, my mind went completely blank and I couldn't even remember some simple power chords (E5 and A5 only require one finger each, ffs!).

However, I would struggle to jam in anything cos it's not something I'm any good at. I couldn't improvise something if you wrote it down for me first. Which probably rules me out of most bands, I guess, but as I'm just after a simple covers band at the moment till I get my eye in, as it were, hopefully I won't need it.

But jamming is that catch-22 thing for me - if I don't do it, I'll never learn, but how do I learn to do it properly if I can't keep up with those who can? Whenever anyone's jammed, I tend to put on a sickly grin and sit down, cos when I've tried to join in, it sounds like someone's being tortured.

geepers0677

We've always been lucky - the band kind of fell together, but we've held a lot of auditions.

We always ask for a video or something similar upfront - that way we can shortlist and they can send something they are happy with removing embarrassment factors from the audition room if they aren't up to it.

Then we do something similar to poster above - we play two songs - but 5 or 6 times to get the feel and remove the nerves. Luckily we are all really chilled out. We don't make them wait, someone gets in touch that day or the next day either way. 

We've recruited two great singers in this or a similar way, a bass player and @horse from here who is an incredible asset to the band.

Just gotta keep trying, the right band will come along!

gearaddict

We've got a guy coming for an audition tonight. I'm actually quite nervous about it myself! It works both ways - I don't want to appear to be completely useless in front of the 'new guy'. But it must be really nerve wracking having to turn up and be 'judged' by a bunch of people you don't know who all know each other.

hywelg

TheOtherDennis said:

But jamming is that catch-22 thing for me - if I don't do it, I'll never learn, but how do I learn to do it properly if I can't keep up with those who can? Whenever anyone's jammed, I tend to put on a sickly grin and sit down, cos when I've tried to join in, it sounds like someone's being tortured.

Backing tracks. Download 'em and play along. Eventually it'll become second nature. Stay away from Jazz though, for now anyway

Gulliver

I had a shit audition once...

I played alright, and ended up joining the band - they just turned out to be a bunch of cunts...

gearaddict

Gulliver said:

I had a shit audition once...

I played alright, and ended up joining the band - they just turned out to be a bunch of cunts...

Rob Trujillo! Welcome to the forum!

Cacofonix

TheOtherDennis said:

Wish I could have auditioned for your band - the guys I went to that night had sent me three songs in advance, but only the day before! So I had virtually no time to get ready for them, especially as they were playing their own versions of the songs, so if I'd tried to learn them via youtube or anything I'd still have been out of sync. That's one of the reasons I was so nervous, because I didn't know the stuff properly. Then when they wanted to start working on it, my mind went completely blank and I couldn't even remember some simple power chords (E5 and A5 only require one finger each, ffs!).

However, I would struggle to jam in anything cos it's not something I'm any good at. I couldn't improvise something if you wrote it down for me first. Which probably rules me out of most bands, I guess, but as I'm just after a simple covers band at the moment till I get my eye in, as it were, hopefully I won't need it.

But jamming is that catch-22 thing for me - if I don't do it, I'll never learn, but how do I learn to do it properly if I can't keep up with those who can? Whenever anyone's jammed, I tend to put on a sickly grin and sit down, cos when I've tried to join in, it sounds like someone's being tortured.

The second time I ever played live, with a band was at an open mic gig with a prepared setlist.  One guy who was a professional musician played some tweaks to one of the songs, and I thought "cool, I can do that", played a bit of improv, and forgot the whole song.  I stood there like a goldfish at the other members for about three hours (seemingly) and managed to dive in to do the final couple of bars, at what I thought was the right time.

On auditions - I went several miles (60 mile round trip) to play an audition as "second guitarist" in a covers band, that were using a particular rehearsal venue but would be moving more local to me in the near future.  I asked for a setlist and learned three numbers, suggested a couple of things I could play as well and turned up.  I got a bad feeling immediately, but played ok.  The existing guitarist was clearly very uncomfortable with me there, although he was a real gentleman and did his best to hide his discomfort, and we were playing the same parts. He got me playing a couple of new numbers with him and we got on quite well.  I got the distinct feeling they were looking for a replacement for him but didn't want to spoil the rehearsals by telling him or excluding him or auditioning without him.  The bassist was a prima donna alpha male, the sound was terrible due to clashing frequencies, and the experience was awful.  They told me later that they didn't want me as they were just trying out a second guitarist because they were experimenting with their sound but might try a keyboardist instead.

TheOtherDennis

Ooh, dear, two stories to send shivers up your spine. I don't think anyone would ever want to be in either position in the second one, that's really nasty, that is.

digitalscream

geepers0677 said:

We've always been lucky - the band kind of fell together, but we've held a lot of auditions.

We always ask for a video or something similar upfront - that way we can shortlist and they can send something they are happy with removing embarrassment factors from the audition room if they aren't up to it.

Then we do something similar to poster above - we play two songs - but 5 or 6 times to get the feel and remove the nerves. Luckily we are all really chilled out. We don't make them wait, someone gets in touch that day or the next day either way. 

We've recruited two great singers in this or a similar way, a bass player and @horse from here who is an incredible asset to the band.

Just gotta keep trying, the right band will come along!

"He's not a prick!!!!"

Talking of which...I think I've lost the recordings of that session

Blueingreen

After being in a couple of bands that "fell together' my first ever audition was a real eye-opener into the level of arsiness and incompetence that can be involved.

I turned up with a 65 watt combo and a Les Paul Custom having learned the two tunes suggested. The other guitarist in the band (also lead singer and "leader" - let's call him X) had a full 8 x 12 stack. I plugged in and we started to play the first song.  The band, X in particular, was so loud I was completely inaudible even with my amp as loud as it would go.

I assumed that since the purpose of the exercise was to audition me, he'd turn down. I was wrong.  We proceeded to play both songs through a couple of times and a blues jam. I could barely hear a note I was playing and the rest of the band must have heard even less.

I should have made my excuses and left, but at auditions you come in with a mindset - eager to please etc - and when things don't turn out the way you expect it can be hard to adjust.  X was obviously much more interested in making alpha dog displays than in finding out if I could actually play, and I didn't know how to react.

One of songs I learned had a Bm7 chord in it, but on the record the guitarist was pulling off a G against the F sharp (or the F sharp against the E, so long ago I can't remember) so I fingered it as a D leaving the bass player to take care of the root. At the end of the song X pompously informed me that I was playing the wrong chord, it should be a Bm not a D. I was so thrown by this piece of idiocy I didn't even defend myself.

X then said he'd always wanted to play a Les Paul Custom and could he have a go?  I couldn't think of any real reason to refuse and stood around like a spare part for 10 minutes while he blasted simple chords at ear splitting volume through his super loud amp on my guitar.

After that he told me I'd "done ok" (how could he tell?) and he would discuss it with the band and let me know.  Next day I called him and got his brother on the phone.  I told him to pass on the message to his brother that I wasn't interested in joining his band.  Not the most courteous way to inform him I guess but I hardly felt he deserved much courtesy.

Phil_aka_Pip

@redrighthand - that was painful (until 1:27, didn't listen to the rest)

the most recent I had was the blues jam in Cambridge. fretting hand locked up, couldn't pick triplets at the tempo required ...

dilbert

@TheOtherDennis. So, the conclusion of this thread ? Everyone has had a crap audition, you're in good company. Dear Lord, I wish I only had the one, X_X Don't stew over it, mate, the memory will only appear worse. Share it with people, laugh it off and put it down to a life experience. Then get out there and try again . \m/ dilbert

TheOtherDennis

That was actually the point of the thread - that I'd had a crap experience that I wanted to share, to encourage others to come forward with theirs, so we can share the pain and encouragement of each other. A sort of collective "There, there, we all have days like this, dear boy, don't let it faze you" sort of thing.

Though I'm not having any luck in getting any more auditions (looking mostly on joinmyband). I'm obviously not being sufficiently blowhard about my abilities, cos I either get ignored or politely refused.

PolarityMan

I've only ever auditioned for one band, only band ive ever been in not playing my own songs. Audition went well, just went round the other guitarists house, he taught me some rhythm parts, threw some of the trickier ones at me then said if you can cope with that you'll be fine on the rest.

Was a pretty decent band but eventually folded due to personality clash between the singer and the other guitarist.

koneguitarist

Never ever auditioned for a band!

nickp

jd0272 said:

Forgotten how the track goes literally seconds before we're launching into it when gigging, started solo's at the wrong place/incompletely the wrong key. Crowds barely notice. I wouldn't sweat it, you're actively looking for a band, just keep going. We all have 'moments' of some description.

this!

and doing an open mike night - never performed in front of a crowd before - going to play Angie (bert jansch).  Coz of the sound coming via PA with no monitors or nuffink, I couldn't hear what I was playing properly and gave up after screwing up the intro feck knows how many times.  

i'm playing with a band now rocking out and loving it - I will make some mistakes on Friday when we gig but I know the songs really well and the other guys are brilliant anyway so we'll do fine  - if i forget what i'm doing I just play quietly until i figure things out - the drummer is so noisy that no one notices