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Mushrooms are not invited as they are a fungus and I don't eat fungus.
Also, what' with all this no-rind, thin-cut, "hand-smoked in a farm-girl's skiddies" bacon? Are they trying to infer they're being healthy, or something? Just stop it right now, and get a proper, rind-on, thick-cut middle cut back on the plate.
Going to a B & B next month (whose breakfast is healthily lovely). I will ask for the ‘slice’ and watch as the owner’s face slips into disgust.
Years ago my grandmother had a guest house in Blackpool. It was back before fancy ovens and so, due to lack of “hob” space she did her “fried bread” under the eye level gas grill..... I know, I know!! Bear with me.... She would spread the bread with copious amounts of butter then grill it to death. Fabulous. Somehow it became far crispier than when done in a pan, yum yum.