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She likes to hold hands or link arms, which might seem romantic but the main reason is to stop me racing off ahead.
Mrs O: "Put on some (factor 30) sun cream and get in the sun."
O: "I'm quite happy reading thanks."
"You'll look stupid going home A4 white."
"You've known me 30 years. I always go home A4 white. You know I burn and you know I don't like lying in strong sunlight."
Pause for 10-15 minutes.
"Why don't you get in the pool?"
"Maybe later."
"Stop being so boring. You're on holiday. Come and enjoy yourself."
"I AM enjoying myself."
"Come on, get in the pool."
"I DON'T WANT TO GET IN THE BLOODY POOL!"
Stony silence for 10 minutes.
"Well if you're going to be boring and not enjoy yourself, you can go and make me a G&T."
Sound of Offset's teeth grinding and Kindle being closed. Ad infinitum, for the duration of the holiday.
EG - The boiler's not coming on/can I have a shower? conversation -
Her - The boiler's not coming on.
Me - That's because I set the thermostat a bit lower.
Her - But it's not coming on.
Me - ( A little more stridently) Yes, I know. It's because I set the thermostat a bit lower.
Her - But it normally comes on around now.
Me - (Even more stridently) Yes, I know, it's because I set the thermostat lower. We need to economise a bit.
Her - Well, is the water still going to be warm for a shower? I mean, the boiler's usually on at this time.
Me - (Shouting) YES, now go and have a fucking shower, for fuck's sake!
This kind of scenario is repeated all the time, but with differing objects, and at differing times of the day. The one constant is she will NEVER take my first answer. Never. Or the second, or the third.
This was part of an organisational energy use reduction strategy
We then found that many of the female staff were buying individual electric fan heaters & running them under their desks...
As they were not work equipment or PA tested, they were told to remove them from the premises.
Did any conflicts arise? Well, amongst other comments, we were all 'nazis'...
Do I miss these irreconcilable internecine conflicts? Do I bloody hell, not at all...
* For clarity, there were no male members that were found to have provided their own supplementary heating, so the mention of sex was for accuracy & context, not as criticism.
Well women feel colder than men, so they probably had a point.
The correct room temperature I've found is 22°C to keep most people happy.
(may not actually be true)
just because you do, doesn't mean you should.
That would drive me fucking bonkers.
She also hangs the toilet roll underhand which is just impractical.
just because you do, doesn't mean you should.