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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    More dogs ...

    image
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    image
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    image
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    image
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • hootsmonhootsmon Frets: 8058

    image


    tae be or not tae be
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    image
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • A woman was in court accused of attacking her husband with a guitar.

    The judge asked "first offender?"

    The woman replied "no your honor, first a gibson, then a fender"
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  • relic245 said:
    A woman was in court accused of attacking her husband with a guitar.

    The judge asked "first offender?"

    The woman replied "no your honor, first a gibson, then a fender"
    I always thought Offender would be a cheeky decal to put on a Strat Copy build. Lol
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  • hootsmonhootsmon Frets: 8058

    image


    tae be or not tae be
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  • SargeSarge Frets: 1517
    I saw a Newcastle season ticket nailed to a tree today, I thought "I'm fucking having that!" well, you can never have too many nails eh?
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  • monofinmonofin Frets: 1022
    How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    30. 1 to hold the bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    image
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • hootsmonhootsmon Frets: 8058

    image


    tae be or not tae be
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 3807

    Grim Reaper realises he was meant to collect Keith Richards ‘ages ago’

    A clerical error by Death, the Grim Reaper has permitted the Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards to enjoy three decades of life beyond his allotted time on Earth.

    ‘We just found his collection form down the back of the old desk’ admitted an embarrassed Grim Reaper, ‘he was due to be collected back in 1977, at the pit of a downward spiral of heroin addiction and cocaine use.’ Yet despite the raddled, deathly appearance of the ageing rock star, no-one seemed to notice the bureaucratic oversight, and Richards was permitted to carry on living for thirty years longer than he was supposed to.

    ‘It’s all very embarrassing…’ said a spokesman for the office of the Grim Reaper, ‘we have apologised to Keith Richards and his family, and said that we will do our best to rectify the situation at the earliest convenient date. Although at the time of speaking, they still haven’t got back to us.’

    This is not the first time that the Grim Reaper’s office had let a collection slip through the net. Other major figures well past their death-due-date include Jimmy Carter, Gary Glitter and the IRA informer who was working for the British secret services.

    The Grim Reaper’s office explained that the process of converting from a manual to digital indexing system had left a number of individuals disappearing from the records altogether, with the result that they may never be called to meet their maker at all. ‘We can’t seem to locate the file on Lady Thatcher either. It means she will just have to remain on Earth forever, going older and madder, but always ready to return to 10 Downing Street if you ever decide to give her another go.’

    It might look like I'm listening to you, but in my head I'm playing my guitar.
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 3807
    edited September 2015

    Ethical Dilemma

    Here's a dilemma for you...what would you do? Only one question, but it's a very important one. Please don't answer it without giving it some serious thought. By giving an honest answer you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation, in which you will have to make a decision.

    Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

    You're in London...By the Thames, to be exact... There is chaos around you,caused by a hurricane and severe floods. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper caught in the middle of this great disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.

    You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is showing all its destructive fury.

    You see a man in the water; he is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken away with the water and debris. You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar.

    Suddenly, you know who it is... it's David Cameron!

    At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under, forever. You have two options. You can save him or you can take the most dramatic photos of your life. So, you can save the life of David Cameron, or you can shoot a Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of Europe's most powerful men.

    Now, here's the question (please give an honest answer):

    Would you select colour film, or rather go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

    Anonymous

    It might look like I'm listening to you, but in my head I'm playing my guitar.
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    A US president prepares for life after the White House ..

    image
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    image
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • KebabkidKebabkid Frets: 1340
    image
     www.cairoeast.co.uk - Madness Tribute band (Bass Player) and guitarist elsewhere
    Feedback - http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/57885/
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    image
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • hootsmonhootsmon Frets: 8058

    image


    tae be or not tae be
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  • Paul_CPaul_C Frets: 4028
    via FB:

    "A policeman searched me in a public toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs.
    "It's not my fault," I said, "Every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again."
    "Do you really expect me to believe that?" he laughed.
    I said, "I'll prove it to you if you want me to!"
    "Go on then." he smiled, handing me the bag.
    After flushing them, he looked at me and said, "Well, show me your pocket then."
    "What for?" I asked.
    He said, "The drugs."
    I said, "What drugs?" "


    CEO ACME Moats Inc.
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  • hootsmonhootsmon Frets: 8058
    edited October 2015

    ^^^


    that reminds of a guy in a Glasgow bar says tae this wee dude ....."I'll bet you 20p I can drink yer whisky over without you seeing me"


    "OK" says the wee  dude..."go ahead" 


    Big Glasgow boy drinks it over


    wee dude says..." I saw you!"


    Glasgow guy says...." here's yer 20p"

    tae be or not tae be
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    image
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • BigMonkaBigMonka Frets: 1496
    Paul_C said:
    via FB:

    "A policeman searched me in a public toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs.
    "It's not my fault," I said, "Every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again."
    "Do you really expect me to believe that?" he laughed.
    I said, "I'll prove it to you if you want me to!"
    "Go on then." he smiled, handing me the bag.
    After flushing them, he looked at me and said, "Well, show me your pocket then."
    "What for?" I asked.
    He said, "The drugs."
    I said, "What drugs?" "


    Have a wisdom instead of a lol for that!
    Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman, in which case always be Batman.
    My boss told me "dress for the job you want, not the job you have"... now I'm sat in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    image
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • How do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream... :(|)
    I feel the warm, healing, liquid presence of God’s genuine cold-filtered grace. 
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    VW's new emissions free car ...

    image 
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 15377
    image
    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • hootsmonhootsmon Frets: 8058

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    Batman my arse it's...........


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    tae be or not tae be
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  • 57Deluxe57Deluxe Frets: 5407
    Fretwired said:
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    I love FIRST DATES - OMG! Cheeseballs!
    <Vintage BOSS Upgrades>
    __________________________________
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