Your best chat up lines

rsvmark

Reading @sporky s biscuit news thread, I was reminded that in my youth, me and my mates had competitions to see who could pull with the best bullshit chat up lines.

One of the group was genuinely a full on fast jet pilot.. So he was disadvantaged from the start:

'No one believes me that I am a Tornado pilot so I tell them I am a bin man'

My tour de force was that I was a biscuit designer who worked for McVities.... That we had a top secret new product coming out soon.....round custard creams.....

Anyone play this game when they were younger?

the_jaffa

I met my now wife by using the line “are you laughing at my banana?”

mikeyrob73

Was once out with some mates and we all claimed we were the Inverness Kabbadi Team on a team night out in Aberdeen. It worked. 

HAL9000

Him: Bond. James Bond.
Her: Off. Piss off.

Sassafras

Get your coat, love, you've pulled.

Sporky

"Your costume must make an amazing noise in the tumbledryer"

mikeyrob73

Best one used on me was a welsh lass who handed me £1 and when I asked her what it was for replied “go buy yourself some condoms, you’ve pulled” 

paulnb57

Ive got a knife

meltedbuzzbox

paulnb57 said:

Ive got a knife

get in the van

strumjoughlamps

Sassafras said:

Get your coat, love, you've pulled.

Later on followed by ‘get your coat love, my wife will be home in half hour’

strtdv

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

LuttiS

Played this a lot..

First time i ever met my wife was while very drunk being dryhumped on the floor of her room by someone and chatting about shampoo sticks.. to this day I still don't know what shampoo sticks are.. 


Usually played the chat up game with the guy who was dryhumped me in the previous scenario. We mostly took the extreme nerd/geek approach. We would usually both wear star trek t shirts or something and then one of us would start chatting to someone normally, then the other would come along and get incredulous that she would be talking to someone in a Kirk shirt when Picard/Sisco etc was obviously the better captain, we would argue then would turn to her to settle it and invite to a threesome since she got it correct. 
Never worked.. not sure we ever intended it to though

Did a lot of shit like that though..  ahh.. good times..
 

VimFuego

there will be no dawn for you, your soul will feed my master.

ThePrettyDamned

Sporky said:

"Your costume must make an amazing noise in the tumbledryer"

10/10

Nitefly

You don't sweat much, for a fat lass...

stratman3142

Nitefly said:

You don't sweat much, for a fat lass...

That was classic Sid The Sexist. 

Nitefly

stratman3142 said:

Nitefly said:

You don't sweat much, for a fat lass...

That was classic Sid The Sexist. 

Probably, I certainly don't claim any originality!  Couldn't recall where I saw it first though.

*edit* I once asked my Geordie boss that question, and he said "How Pet, an' show us yer tits" was a sure-fire winner!

underdog

Do you think you could fit all of this in your ...... .............................................

I like to keep it subtle

CloudNine

"It's safe to get in the car, I am good friends with your parents"

Legionreturns

*deep sniff* 

"Mmmmm... You smell just like your dirty laundry basket" 

cruxiform

'How do you like your eggs in the morning?'

'Unfertilised, now fuck off'.