ADHD - Boredom threshold

octatonic

Sporky said:

Also Aspergers isn't a current term for autism, quite possibly because Asperger was a Nazi who experimented on autistic people, and that shouldn't be celebrated. 

My view is that we're not "all on the spectrum", for two reasons. Firstly it's more useful for "the spectrum" to refer to a particular neuro divergence at a time, and secondly because the spectrum is not a linear scale with "quite into trains" at one end and "can't really function unhelped" at the other. It's more a model of how all the people on it share a condition, but have different sets of traits. Like a cloud, or a starfield. Not a line.

Also everything Octatonic said. Particularly that "well, we're all on the spectrum" is completely dismissive of the individual struggles people who are actually on a spectrum have. 

Thanks Andi.

I use the Aspie term- mostly because I think we need *a term* to distinguish where people like you and I are relative to those who are quite a bit more disabled. I reject the notion of aspie supremacy entirely though, it isn't about being more or less disabled, it is just recognising the fundamental differences. We have different types of cancer or depression. We don't lump them all in together. I'd like to see more sub categories of ASD, really.

Sporky

To be fair, I have no objection to anyone diagnosed as autistic or Aspergers with using "Apsergers" or "Aspie", though I do think the former is a bit problematic.

Agreed on autie supremacy; when I made my diagnosis work-public someone did pop up with "it's your superpower". I didn't really know how to respond, because I know it was meant kindly. Best I could come up with was "sadly also my kryptonite". I think it does explain why I'm very good at some of the things I do (particularly at work), but it certainly explains the things I'm really not good at at all. I think I'm very fortunate to have an employer who's willing to maximise the time I spend on the former and minimise/help with the latter.

I'm increasingly confident that I have ADHD as well as autism, but I have huge inertia to having an evaluation, partly because Bupa made the autism assessment process so painful.

Funkfingers

Axe_meister said:

Any of you have a tips on breaking through that boredom threshold? 

Live a straight, straight line.

Wait for the 'phone to ring.

Act dumb.

Know that the scene is very humdrum.

Take an extravagant journey.

Come from nowhere.

Go straight back there.

B'dum, b'dum.

cruxiform

I’ve got a confirmed diagnosis of ADHD. I don’t take medication which is my choice, I sometimes wonder if it would make a difference but I think I’ve got to the age of 55 despite having ADHD by developing coping strategies which I wasn’t aware of until I knew I had ADHD. It’s helpful in my job as a mental health nurse as I can understand people who also have ADHD when they’re talking about their struggles. Work have been great, we have soundproof pods where staff who are neurodiverse can work and focus in silence.  I use them a lot because I’m so easily distracted in the office. I can request extra time for report writing etc. 

When diagnosed, I scored highly in all 3 aspects but I feel my main problem is focus/motivation. I can sit for days on end being bored and unable to motivate myself to get started on the simplest of tasks. There’s a thing called ADHD paralysis, I believe I’ve been in this many times. 

I hate having it and always knew I was different to others so the diagnosis only confirmed it. As Octa said it’s debilitating and very tiring. I have a friend who since being diagnosed has made him an ADHD warrior and embraces the diagnosis. I see it as an enemy that needs to be defeated. It’s prevented me from achieving so much more in my life and 100% contributed to the breakdown of my marriage about 10 years ago. I hate it.

Dont think I’ve answered the original question, just wanted to write all that down.  

cruxiform

TeleMaster said:

There seems to be this trend of self diagnosing and saying you have a condition without a formal diagnosis and I don't agree with it. It trivialises the condition when everyone says they have it, It might be ADHD

This really grinds my gears. I have seen people on social media use the term ‘undiagnosed ADHD’. I don’t give them my time. 

Don’t even get me started on people who say ‘I have OCD’ because they keep a clean house. Through my job, I once supported a guy who would take up to 3.5hours to put on a sock and take up to 6 hours to get dressed. That’s OCD.

I’ve had a few people say to me since I was diagnosed that ‘we’re all a little bit adhd aren’t we?’. No mate, we’re not. 

DefaultM

cruxiform said:

TeleMaster said:

There seems to be this trend of self diagnosing and saying you have a condition without a formal diagnosis and I don't agree with it. It trivialises the condition when everyone says they have it, It might be ADHD

Don’t even get me started on people who say ‘I have OCD’ because they keep a clean house. Through my job, I once supported a guy who would take up to 3.5hours to put on a sock and take up to 6 hours to get dressed. That’s OCD.

I hate that one. Last year I watched a documentary about a guy who would still be up at 2am making sure everything was lined up right in the house because he thought if he didn’t his son would die. He was in tears and then he’d put something in the right place and you could see it took a massive weight off him until he saw a coaster was 1mm wrong.

Or when people say they’ve got flu when it’s a cold. If you had flu you wouldn’t be at work, you’d be in bed wondering if you were dying.

Kurtis

"The myth that everyone is on the autism spectrum stems from a misunderstanding of the term "spectrum." Autism spectrum refers to a range of neurodevelopmental conditions that affect individuals in various ways. However, it does not imply that every person falls somewhere within this spectrum."

Same for ADHD. They are medical conditions, not just being a "bit odd".

DefaultM

I had people at work telling me I was likely autistic for years but I genuinely thought they were just making fun of me. 

When I got diagnosed it was because someone medical suggested it, and my wife admitted she’d always thought I was.
 I went back to some of them at work and said actually you were right sorry I thought you were just winding me up. Most said yeah sorry I was trying to help I wasn’t being a dick, but quite a few told me that everyone is on the spectrum and that I’d only got a diagnosis for attention and to stand out and feel special.
I just thought how insecure can you be? That’s pretty much admitting you were making fun of me, and now it’s been confirmed you’ve associated that with being told I’m more special than you? 

There’s nothing good about this. You can become as proficient as I was at work without being autistic, and actually probably do better because most people weren’t having to close themselves in a toilet cubicle for 30-45 minutes at a time silent screaming like I was.

Timcito

Does anyone in Britain ever get tested for ADHD only to be told that they do not have a 'condition' but merely need to work on everyday behavious such as healthier diet, more sleep and exercise, avoidance of alcohol and tobacco, better relaxation techniques, and work on concentration skills? 

I ask this because US doctors have a tendency to find something, anything, that involves consuming healthcare resources. A condition diagnosis is a win-win: the patient is excused most of the responsibility, while the doctor gets to prescribe some meds. I have the impression that no one leaves empty handed!

US culture seems to believe that if something goes wrong, we need pills or treatment by an expert. I remember that scene in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life in which the woman giving birth in hospital surrounded by a team of medics cries out, "What should I do?!" The answer: "Nothing, dear. You're not qualified!"

Kurtis

Timcito said:

Does anyone in Britain ever get tested for ADHD only to be told that they do not have a 'condition'... 

Hard to tell.

DefaultM

Timcito said:

Does anyone in Britain ever get tested for ADHD only to be told that they do not have a 'condition' but merely need to work on everyday behavious such as healthier diet, more sleep and exercise, avoidance of alcohol and tobacco, better relaxation techniques, and work on concentration skills? 

I ask this because US doctors have a tendency to find something, anything, that involves consuming healthcare resources. A condition diagnosis is a win-win: the patient is excused most of the responsibility, while the doctor gets to prescribe some meds. I have the impression that no one leaves empty handed!

US culture seems to believe that if something goes wrong, we need pills or treatment by an expert. I remember that scene in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life in which the woman giving birth in hospital surrounded by a team of medics cries out, "What should I do?!" The answer: "Nothing, dear. You're not qualified!"

I was going to the GP a lot because I thought I was depressed and anxious. After years of going through loads of different tablets and feeling worse and worse I suggested maybe I had Aspergers or ADHD or something.
He said “no, let’s not think about that”, said everything you just have, gave me some different tablets and referred me to CBT.
 When I finally got to CBT the guy said to me he wasn’t sure if he could treat me because of the Autism, I might need something more specialist.
I asked what he was on about and he said it was so clear he thought I knew. 

So I got diagnosed, and again when I went back to the GP to ask for help he said there was nothing because I wasn’t a child.
 After 6 months I went a bit mental and suddenly I’d filled the requirements to get some actual treatment. Since I got that I’ve not felt depressed, and now I don’t take any tablets at all. If I’d gone off what the GP said I’d probably still be going years later wondering why I was still so mentally ill.

cruxiform

 Very similar to me. I was on antidepressants for years, being treated for anxiety and depression. I was referred for CBT but it didn’t work for me as I couldn’t focus on the suggestions from the counsellor. 

It was a work colleague (another nurse) who suggested I do an initial ADHD questionnaire as they saw the traits in my behaviour. 3 months later I was diagnosed. 

The anxiety and depression I was treated for before was a result of being overwhelmed and not being able to cope, although I didn’t know that at the time.

ToneControl

Sporky said:

To be fair, I have no objection to anyone diagnosed as autistic or Aspergers with using "Apsergers" or "Aspie", though I do think the former is a bit problematic.

Agreed on autie supremacy; when I made my diagnosis work-public someone did pop up with "it's your superpower". I didn't really know how to respond, because I know it was meant kindly. Best I could come up with was "sadly also my kryptonite". I think it does explain why I'm very good at some of the things I do (particularly at work), but it certainly explains the things I'm really not good at at all. I think I'm very fortunate to have an employer who's willing to maximise the time I spend on the former and minimise/help with the latter.

I'm increasingly confident that I have ADHD as well as autism, but I have huge inertia to having an evaluation, partly because Bupa made the autism assessment process so painful.

btw my health care insurance from work including gender reassignment surgery (i.e. they are very up to date with what they cover), yet exclude diagnosis or treatment for acne or ADHD, which was very unfair and costly since my kids needed help with both

ToneControl

I'm sure there are plenty of people who think they have a bit of ADHD or OCD or whatever, I can see why that is annoying.

I'm offering those questionnaires because basically you need £2k - £3k to get a diagnosis and treatment in the UK at present, so I think it's probably a candidate for self-diagnosis for many people. Those forms are pretty good I think.

I told my friend who is diagnosed that I thought it was probably not worth the bother me getting diagnosed towards the end of my career. His Mrs got him off the phone and made sure she spent 20 minutes without him in the room, explaining that I should ask my wife and kids before deciding that. It turns out her husband has lots of trouble with everyday stuff that does indeed affect his family.
I asked my family, and they are OK with how I am now. I think it has really affected my career and education, and friendships, so if I was 20 again and found out, I'd be keener to find treatment, but I've already been through the crappy bits, coped, and found workarounds for things, and saved up for retirement already.

ToneControl

and..  discussing my unofficial ADHD with someone who works in physical MSK therapies, she said "oh everyone's on the spectrum", she's told me previously that her daughter has autism.

I think I said "what spectrum?" I thought the term was specific to autism.
Straightway I was thinking "a spectrum is just a sequence of states/values between 2 points, surely a gamut would make more sense? Especially if you were trying to combine difference types of illness in a word that groups them all together. Or is that an ADHD way to think....
Anyway, what's the point? Everyone has at least 2 medical conditions, I can't see why you'd try to say they were all part of some continuum or context, how is that helpful unless they are inter-related?

imalrightjack

Another diagnosed late in life. I buy and sell compulsively. I’ve developed acute health anxiety. I can achieve to great levels in pockets of creativity and fail miserably at work, because I’m not interested. 

ACT and mindfulness are crucial skills. Meds were horrible. “Yay! Focus!” Then horrible mood crashes. 

Hypnosis for anxiety (Paul McKenna in particular) highly recommended. Message me for mp3s. 

Kurtis

A lot of doctors seem to be of the opinion that if you have lived this long with it you must be coping, but nobody talked about it when I was a kid so it wasn't going to happen. 

Revolutions

What was the question? I sort of skim-read most of this.

I’m so tired of neurodiversity. A lifetime of depression & serious mental health problems, told by family & partner that of course I got diagnosed because I went private rather than languish years on various waiting lists, then 10 years later it’s super popular & now instead of complaining about me or constructively sacking me because I don’t fit in, I now get sympathy from everyone. Still zero understanding or real support when I’m having an existential meltdown.

Throw Crohn’s into the mix, as well as being left-handed, it often feels like the world has been designed from the ground up opposite to what I find logical. I’d never wish this crap on anyone.

oh, how do I stop myself from being distracted? Clear goals, time boxing, and a morning routine of planning my day, writing a gratitude list & meditating. That sometimes helps me be more self-aware of when I slip into autopilot. But more often than not I only notice when someone else points it out to me.

Greatape

Adey said:

No comment.

This is, of course, a comment. 

https://www.abtaba.com/blog/everyone-on-the-autism-spectrum

guitargeek62

fretmeister said:

Sporky said:

fretmeister said:

Apparently 5 espresso in a big mug before breakfast and then a couple of filter machine jugs worth through the day isn’t the best way to deal with it…

I had to stop drinking coffee. I was having a six-cup Moka pot in a mug with condensed milk at breakfast. It turned out that was causing 80% or so of my travel anxiety.

With condensed milk you say?

I might try that.

 Mix it 1 part espresso, 1 part condensed milk, and (optional) 1 part chilled water then pour it over ice... bloody lovely - essentially a Vietnamese iced coffee, I believe?