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I'm fairly popular at work (as much as directorate/admin staff can be, anyway) but I think I could probably count the number of friends I have on one hand.
I don't mind, either. I get on well with most people, and am pretty laid back. I just find socialising sucks away my energy, and the first thing I want to do afterwards is play guitar or read for a couple of hours to "reset".
I have lots of people to go for a drink with, from all walks of life, but maybe 4 or 5 people of consider real friends.
I'm perfectly happy in my own company though
I have always felt like an outsider, though managed to maintain friendships both inside and outside of work. I was never very good at the pub, and really struggled with the partying when I was in a band - that said I got by (just).
I reckon I make more effort than my ‘friends’ do, but that is ok.
Totally agree about old friends that you do not see for years, but are so comfortable that it feels like no time at all.
to be honest, I am not sure I have the energy for much - and I don’t even have children !!!
Last year I met up with my best friend from school, haven’t seen each other in nearly 15 years and was a little worried it would be awkward, but not at all. Also caught up with a couple of people I originally met online - haven’t seen one in real life for 5 years, the other about 10 years, and again it was like we’d only seen each other the week before (except for added grey hair, etc).
Some of my Facebook ‘friends’ are in friendship groups that seem to involve joint holidays and endless parties and barbecues at each other’s homes with all their partners and kids (well, not so much this year). I honestly don’t think I could be bothered.
Some people delude themselves that they have lots of friends only to be disappointed in people.
I know one chap who genuinely calls everybody his friend not realising that I know quite a few of them and none are very fond of him at all !
I have one particular group of friends (5 others ) ;we all went to Prep school together boarding from age 8 then on to school but in different houses ;some of us were at Oxford together and 2 others at Harvard together ( they are Canadian originally )
We all live in London or Hertfordshireand are just turning 59 .
We meet for dinner every couple of months and all ski together every year .One chap has a nice boat in and we all do a couple of summer days with him as his guests .
These friendships go back a very long way ..... we holidayed together as kids in Salcombe and skied together in winter as kids -we can all remember the names of each other's dogs from childhood or the time when one got caned at school , caught driving a parent's car , etc etc.
We have all been to each other's parents funerals ,weddings, divorce parties etc and children's weddings.
One now has Parkinson's (although he's still a fantastic skier ) and another has Prostate Cancer .......the lucky one has just swapped the wife for a rather lovely 38 year old !
I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people I don't see regularly but there are still a few who I chat to regularly through WhatsApp etc and will meet up when there's a big gathering. Its just hard to have a night out etc with them when I live 40 mins away which means staying sober or having an expensive taxi ride to my dad's nearby. I do miss them but also don't have much in common with a lot of them any more, it's only those into music and biking who I keep touch with.
There are 4 of us who still see each other on an almost weekly basis. There’s a wider group of another 6 or so who I see a few times a year, but they are still all old school friends.
I regret losing contact with a few people from the past. Some friends from college and a guy I used to work with, but life goes on.
I can't help about the shape I'm in, I can't sing I ain't pretty and my legs are thin
But don't ask me what I think of you, I might not give the answer that you want me to
Personality wise I was the class clown at school and acted the extrovert despite being possibly more on the introverted side of things inside. Was in the kind of 'cool' gang as a result.
After I met her (we were both 18) we drifted away from our respective school mates as they went to uni / jobs / moved away etc and we spent all our time together, bought a house and moved a few miles away.
Had a couple of good mates in my twenties but to be honest it just caused marital grief at times (drinking buddies!) and I tired of it.
I've just never wanted to spend my valuable life time with anyone other than my wife and (now adult) kids. I used to wonder if this was abnormal and I do also suspect it's not entirely healthy for personal growth, but over the years I've accepted it and no longer pressure myself to be more 'normal' and accumulate friends. This thread reinforces my viewpoint, in fact, but others would doubtless find fault with that.