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I'm 57. I come from a family where open discussions were the norm - anything and everything could be talked about, viewpoints aired, explanations offered for those viewpoints and sometimes opinions would be changed as a result - sometimes not. All of this would be without animosity and without feeling attacked or offended when your own viewpoint was queried. I've always found it very educational and fascinating to try to understand others' views - and the more they differ from mine, the more interesting it is.
Now, I get it that not everyone feels like me and for some, having their viewpoint even questioned is seen as a personal insult. Some see the world in black and white - 'you're either with us, or against us', some immediately put up defences, being hyper-vigilant for anything that could be taken as offensive so they can jump straight into their comfort-zone of dismissing everything counter to their beliefs outright. That's a lot easier than any inward analysis of one's own position. Many though are happy to stop and think and question things.
I'm also aware that this place isn't my personal playground and that many folk simply aren't comfortable discussing anything controversial and to that end, I genuinely now try to avoid subjects that definitely are divisive, no matter how interesting it may be to discuss viewpoints on the subjects. The problem now for me though is "What constitutes a divisive topic?". It would appear that I'm not very good at answering that question in the same way most of you would!
For example, my Germany thread... I honestly didn't think that would produce the uproar it did. Truthfully I didn't. Despite the beliefs of some here, I hate it when things kick off. Once I saw the reactions to my post weren't going to calm down I asked twice in the thread for the mods to close it. If I relished disharmony here, that's the last thing I would have done.
Maybe I'm 'on the spectrum' as they say... Maybe I'm lacking some basic insight as what people are happy to chat about and what is considered taboo? It's either that or this place has descended into somewhere where we'd better restrict our off-topic discussions to "What's your favourite colour?". Even then, I'm no longer certain that would not result in a punch-up.
I honestly don't know what is safe to chat about anymore - which opinions are considered acceptable and which will be shouted down in a tirade of ad-homs. I have to admit that the whole idea of "acceptable opinions" is concerning. If any of us hold opinions that might not be "acceptable", do we just keep them to ourselves for fear of abuse? Do we only discuss 'safe' topics because there are too many here who can only respond with aggression? Or, do we discuss things as adults, however uncomfortable the subject or the opinions of some, so we can gain insights into why these beliefs came about and hopefully learn something about each other.
Once upon a time, I thought this was possible but I don't think it is anymore - certainly not on this forum anyway. The instant anyone expresses nonconforming beliefs, they are beaten with insults.
I don't know where to go with this now. I'm clearly unable to make a sensible decision on what I can talk about - maybe I ought to message a mod first to check if I'm thinking of asking anything more divisive than "What's your favourite flavour of jam?".
I'm not an idiot - I can see the responses are largely critical of me and I'm genuinely sorry if my insensitivity has caused trouble. Despite the entrenched conviction of some that I'm trolling and relish the trouble, I genuinely hate it when my threads go awry, I honestly don't want to be the spark that ignites yet another flame war. Anyway - I'm sorry. I clearly have more to learn about what is considered an acceptable posting style on here.
Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."
Viewing on a mobile, as i do (and prolly a lot of others as well ) it doesn't show you who started the thread... If id known it was an emp thread I wouldn't have clicked on it, wouldn't have read it and wouldn't have been compelled to point out what a bellend of a thread it was!!!! but heres the thing, members shouldn't have to be wary of what threads they click on... in reality that thread should not have been on here in the first place imo...
I know I have the tattoo of "arsehole" on me on this forum, If I had posted that, how long would it have lasted? How long would it have been before it was closed and a mail from the mods received? Ive been coolered for less than that thread title alone... same for anyone else I guess...
Yeah, There was a pile on from folk.. almost a "Mob" if you like... but it was deserved and the mob is different everytime... the OP is usually the common denominator.
I posted a thread yesterday asking what was acceptable. there were some good points made... Emp logs on and within seconds starts a ruck and gets the thread closed... all the while gaslighting and playing the victim...
I realise this is all being aired on a thread he started as well... Emp... you're a troll plain and simple. thats not a dig, its a statement of fact. and before you kick off, Ive already flagged my post here.
1. He started it.
2. Surely you’re clever enough to see that I was joking,
3. Why are you victimising me?
My favourite was “and you can fuck off too!”
I got coolered just for lol’ing one post (which other people also lol’d by the way).
Yet others seem to get away with repeatedly throwing insults around and breaking the rules. It doesn’t seem like you apply your sanctions very consistently.
Neither do I. The system we have isn't bad, but any system will have it's problems.
Essentially you are saying "I'm sorry that you people are all incapable of discussing controversial topics".
That's clearly nonsense . The thread on "open relationships" is clearly extremely controversial and yet it's gone relatively smoothly.
The problem is partially the subjects you choose and mostly the way you post about them. It's clear you struggle to recognise when you are doing this so lay off the controversial subjects.
Coming to the conclusion "Everyone else has a problem and not me" is not going to result in a positive outcome.
Was it Michael Manfield QC, a man The Legal 500 described as 'The king of human rights work", who once said "I was only saying wot I wos finking!"?
Powerful stuff that maybe we should all consider.
1. Pointless, self-destructive and ignorant prejudices and how they hurt humankind as a whole.
2. Perspectives on 20th century history, particularly the British obsession with WW2, and how we can correct those perspectives where needed.
It came across though as "I'm afraid of the Germans because of their history, who's with me?" - which is the dictionary definition of Xenophobia. It's not just an opinion, it's an extreme and prejudiced statement.
I could post "Robbie William's swing album is the worst thing to happen to music since the puritans" and it would be an opinion, some people would agree with me, some no doubt love it for some reason, but it's also the sort of innocuous discussion you might find on a guitar forum.
I'm not sure it's credible that the controversy was unexpected, given what was posted.
I thought the mods were pretty understanding, and this forum is well run and a good place to be due to the "light touch" policy.
If anything some consideration should be given to ensuring it doesn't appear in future google searches, as it is hardly representative of TFB in general, and could be prejudicial to general perception of the community.
bit harsh on the puritans there frankly.
I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.
Here's how it goes:
- troll posts something trollish
- somebody accuses the troll of posting something trollish
- many jump in to support the accuser
- troll sits back lighting a cigar
It's different if you're not sure if the poster is a troll or not, but when you know somebody is, then what's the point in responding?
Unfortunately human nature is such that "Just ignore trolls" doesn't work.
If it did people wouldn't bother being trolls.
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/duty_calls.png