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The Day After.
Kind of an American version of Threads. Utterly terrifying, especially in the current climate.
It actually states at the end of the film that the depicted scenes are, in all probability, less severe than what would actually take place during and after a nuclear holocaust.
A very sobering film.
Apocalyto (Amazon Prime): Mayans, slaves, sacrifice, brutality, gore. Very watchable, but it's a film of two halves and the second is just too packed with unexplained wackiness. 5/10
An insurance specialist is head-hunted (geddit?) for a well paid new job but finds himself dealing with the ghost of a murder victim who won't rest in her grave until her missing head is tracked down. This amazingly cheap nonsense (directed by one Paul Tarantino!) was made in 2005, but with its ancient-looking technology and feeble digital effects it somehow manages to look more like an episode of 1980s series Tales from the Darkside. It almost falls into the so-bad-it's-good category. But it's just bad.
The 8th Night (Netfix)
Korean horror about a couple of Buddhist monks trying to stop a chain of events which will bring an ancient evil back into the world...
I've watched a lot of ropey horror movies in the last couple of weeks but I was expecting this one to be good. As it turned out, I barely understood what was going on for the first ninety minutes... in the last half hour things picked up, but the ending made no sense at all. I can't recommend it.
The Cellar (Shudder)
Remember Elisha Cuthbert from 24? She seems to have gone straight from playing Jack Bauer's teenage daughter to playing middle-aged moms in super-generic horror movies...
A family buys an old house in Ireland which is full of spooky stuff - weird symbols above the doors, a strange equation carved into the cellar steps... and then their teenage daughter disappears. Naturally they do a lot of Googling and consult a mathematician... it seems the house may be a gateway to another dimension...
This feels like the writer/director watched some Lucio Fulci films - City of the Living Dead, The House by the Cemetery and The Beyond - then decided to pinch a bunch of ideas and use them in a film completely devoid of any scares or tension. And I guess he succeeded.
I would say 7/10 too, maybe 8.
"Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone." - Walt Kowalski
"Only two things are infinite - the universe, and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein
The story is about a rich paraplegic who needs a carer. The one he employs is from a different demographic.
The story is true ... so the humanity in the screenwriting is awesome. Yes, the movie is French with subtitles but you'll not be bothered by that I'm sure.
If you want an honest movie, that will make you smile, laugh, cry, frown, celebrate and feel that you've been on an emotional journey then this is for you.
I've thought it through again and I'd say 9.5/10
There is no 'H' in Aych, you know that don't you? ~ Wife
Turns out there is an H in Haych! ~ Sporky
Bit of trading feedback here.
Watched it again after seeing it when it was released.
I actually enjoyed it but I suspect it was because I felt smug at seeing so many references to the first three.
A few nice ideas in there and very 'meta' or whatever the kids are calling being stuck up its own arse these days, even the digs at Warner Bros got a smile.
I doubt i'll ever watch it again but it filled my time well enough.
It follows the typical JS formula. JS is a guy down on his luck/wronged somehow/betrayed by folk - pick one, who finds away to get revenge on those who would do harm to him/his family/people he cares about - pick one.
The catalyst for this particular, ahem, plot is a small Chinese girl who has a gift for maths and memorising long numbers. She's forced into working for a Chinese gang in New York but the Russian mafia also want her and Statham gets caught in the middle, of course.
Throw in a bunch of bent cops and a corrupt mayor from his past and you have the perfect storm for a very dull film.
As a Statham-kicks-everyone's-ass type movie, it was ok, but as a film with any credible story it was just pants.
Save yourself the bother, but if you really must it's on Prime.
There is no 'H' in Aych, you know that don't you? ~ Wife
Turns out there is an H in Haych! ~ Sporky
Bit of trading feedback here.
Utter shit
Dramatisation of true events that took place during the early 60s, and during the Cuban Missile Crisis in particular.
There is no 'H' in Aych, you know that don't you? ~ Wife
Turns out there is an H in Haych! ~ Sporky
Bit of trading feedback here.
Great film about a pot head living with his mum on Staten Island. Very witty well written film with some big names playing small parts.
Highly recommended 8/10
Warner Bros are happy to cash in on all their property.