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I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.
Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
Loads of old ones around here! Just need a bigger house with three chimneys.
And a cellar......
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
now you're just being reasonable.
I’m so bored I might as well be listening to Pink Floyd
Predictable rant from grumpy of Wales. You should be deleted to protect the gene pool ... :-)
Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
The softly softly approach doesn't work on those kids as they don't recognise it as authority, but it can help them to be less angry. At that point something like the army works because they get recognised for being good at stuff (so feel accepted) and have utterly clear and strongly enforced rules...
Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.
There's no rules to parenting - I find the key is to learn by your mistakes.
There's a middle ground that I fear is gradually being eroded away by the lefty do-gooders at one end and the scumbags that should be sterilised at the other - advancing on us in the middle!
We will be left with two types of person - both massive cunts for different reasons.
There are books, role models (family, friends , etc), there are good practices and advice (if you've theright sort of parents they'll admit the mistakes they made). In trying to apply all that - that is where mistakes are made and insights gained.
Currently there are three types of cunts - Mr Middle Ground is a cunt too, he dictates "extremes" where participants see difference. He spectates rather than acquire an opinion and then showboats his "equanimity" as a means of self-aggrandizement and squashing a conversation he doesn't want to exist.
I have respect for Rocker, he's got a strong opinion and he seems open to changing it whereas you're being passive aggressive and who's interested in defending that?
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Firstly you are jumping to defensive conclusions @frankus.
Secondly did you not see the wink smiley and my use of the 'c' word which harks back to a previous thread?
Do you really think I believe people should be sterilised? Ok maybe one or two!
What else...
I must apologise that my command of the English language falls short of you own - clearly I meant learn from mistakes. Although I think my version may be an accepted turn of phrase as well? I'm certain it's one that is commonly used in the north.
Perhaps my use of the word extreme was inappropriate - let's agree on significantly different opinions - at opposite ends of the spectrum maybe?
In addition I haven't labelled you or the OP (although I do note your use of the wink smiley). But you Sir have indirectly labelled me a bigot and someone who is passively aggressive - well done.
You've also alluded that you don't respect me - that's fine as I'm not seeking your approval or your respect.
I'm humbled that YOU are offering me the chance to learn from my mistake. Obviously your own self-aggrandizement allows you to offer me that opportunity?
As they say opinions are like arse-holes...or should that be from arse-holes!
<:-P
Some of it might be concern - at any time was the adult identified as Dad? Kids should be taught to shout "you're not my dad!!" any time someone who isn't their dad grabs them or tries to take them somewhere ... without that there's always unease.
Kids will act out, shy parents give in to this... the kid might have been bored of the coffee shop and blackmailing Dad - should he get away with it?
If Dad clouted him and got on with drinking his coffee - the disquiet would have been greater...
I don't think uneasiness is an indicator of anything - I mean some people might feel uneasy if a gay person or a black person came into their coffee shop and if enough people thought the same there'd be a sigh of relief when the stimulus for their distress left...
But what would you have a full-time mum do? It's a dispute like any other but one of the participants doesn't have social conditioning. In those situations it's important for Mum to remain an adult and not capitulate but equally listen to the kids grievances (which if he's screaming he's found that more effective than talking - for one reason or another).
What would you have her do?
I remember, years ago, bellowing at one of my son's friends for unbuckling his seatbelt as we were driving and then jumping on my son's car seat and trying to unbuckle his - added to which my wife was no help at all and wouldn't pull over - to be honest my anger was with her... but none the less we returned a sobbing child to his parents and I felt like shit.
I think in that situation the kid being a little sod probably suited the woman who didn't know how to politely end the conversation. Or it could be the Mum is (let's call it) depressed (but more accurately "Poor little old me" attitude) and feels a victim to her kids... stick someone in with a kid for a few years they'll start to lose bits of their personality and will power.. it happens so easily.
As with most rules in life people say "don't hit your kids" - which is shit ... what do you do instead? What can you tell people to do that doesn't involve a negative at the front? You know constructive advice?
Well, teaching people to breath properly so they don't lose their rag, eye contact with kids, showing the emotions you're feeling without being intimidating, listening to the kid before they decide the only way to get attention is to act out.
It sounds trite but that Super Nanny TV programme is a really good set of principles to raise kids by, and she's a good role model in how to talk to kids..
Parents do get it wrong and people who aren't parents are quick to pile on the blame, recently I was on a camping holiday and brushing my youngest kids teeth, and he's grumbling as usual, I try to do it firmly but not too much.. but a guy of around 60 says "don't brtush his teeth too hard, you'll hurt him" ... at that point I have all these thoughts nearly at the same time:
am I brushing too hard?
are you interpreting I'm brushing too hard?
do I underestimate my son's complaining? (I've a video of his 4 year old tirade about how minecraft wasn't working).
are you a dentist?
of course it's awkward calling out parenting skills or lack of so he was out the door before I'd thought of what I was going to ask him.