Best man?

holnrew

Kebabkid said:

Done it 5 times.
A lot of what I'd suggest has been said but here goes anyway:
Know who's who and introduce yourself to the top table people ASAP
Don't embarrass the groom or be rude
but compliment him ( and the bride)
I think you thank the bridesmaids
If you can't do funny, keep it short
Make yourself known to key service people so they come to you instead of bothering the bride and groom
Make notes and rehearse it so it's natural
And.....have fun!

Look at mister has five friends.

UnclePsychosis

Remember as well that there's more to being the best man than just doing a speech.

You'll need to help out with all sorts of things on the day, organising people for photos, helping the families with whatever needs to be done, etc etc. I've been in a few wedding parties and the helping out bit is more important than you might think, especially for the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom. Keep them sweet and you'll forever be their favourite person!

As for the speech, being sincere is better than crap jokes and unless you know your audience inside out don't go too smutty. Remember to compliment the bride and say something genuinely nice about your mate. Jokes about the brides previous boyfriends are a very bad idea indeed, and jokes about the grooms lovelife pre bride are risky business. Also don't throw in too many in-jokes. I went to a wedding once where every single joke in the speech was for the benefit of the grooms uni mates, so one table was in hysterics and literally no one else was laughing because they weren't in on it!

Handsome_Chris

I've done it three times.  My top tips are:

1. Do have a crib card. Bullet points of key stuff. Do not read from a script.

2. Open up with a joke, but nothing too clever. I remember one wedding I was a guest at, the BM was opening up with the classic "It's been an emotional day", to which some loud mouth, but well meaning, handsome chump shouted out "Even the cake is in tears". So don't use stuff that is too obvious.  On my first one, I opened up with "In the short time I've known Phil, we've been through a lot together: Luckily none of 'em have turned up".  The grooms mum and dad thought it was hilarious - fortunately.  I am a risk taker.

3. Do have an audience appropriate amusing tale about your friend.

4. Do have a heartwarming tale about your friend.  If you're single, it'll pay dividends later.

5. Do keep it short.

6. I think that you have to thank the bridesmaids for looking good too.

mike_l

Good advice Chris.

I've seen a "joke" about the groom leaving "pavement pizza's" all over the place. Which wasn't funny at all.

Same bloke dragged it out for nearly 30 minutes, and wasn't anywhere near as funny as he thought he was.

Handsome_Chris

@Mike_L, that sounded like a fkn nightmare. Was the BM drunk, or just an idiot?

mike_l

He went by the latin name dumbus twatus. Mind the groom wasn't much better.........

Nor was the grooms father....

It was one of those weddings that you don't want to go to, but have to go to (family, I'm not related to any of those mentioned though)......

 

 

 

Rocker

Rehearse. Keep the speech short. No "funnies" culled from the internet, most people have heard them all before. Rehearse. No drinks before toasting B&G. And rehearse.

hungrymark

Be nice to the bride, take the piss out of the groom but affectionately, don't go on too long. Above all, don't start telling stag do stories or stories that only a few people will get unless it highlights a well-known personality trait. Make it something everybody can relate to.

Kebabkid

Ta @holnrew. Having friends is one of life's pleasures.
Recommended

holnrew

Kebabkid said:

Ta @holnrew. Having friends is one of life's pleasures.
Recommended

I'll try and get some of my own then.

Handsome_Chris

@Deadman, have you done the deed yet?

Deadman

It's next Saturday Chris. I haven't even written my speech yet, best crack on with it...

hungrymark

An opening line that I've used is '*groom* doesn't like anybody so I'm from rent-a-best-man'. Seemed to go down well, but he was well known as a bit of a grump.

Deadman

Yeah @hungrymark I've made a start since Chris made his post and I'm trying to come up with a funny opener. It's hard because I love swearing normally. Wouldn't go down too well as my mate's nan is 93, I have to hand over to a religious type chap to say grace and there are loads of kids going. Bugger.

RocknRollDave

UnclePsychosis said:

Remember as well that there's more to being the best man than just doing a speech.

You'll need to help out with all sorts of things on the day, organising people for photos, helping the families with whatever needs to be done, etc etc. I've been in a few wedding parties and the helping out bit is more important than you might think, especially for the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom. Keep them sweet and you'll forever be their favourite person!

BIG +1 to this. Best Men get hung up on the speech part, but the "organising people" bit is way more important.

MoANjAm

How good a mate is he? I've done it twice and I regretted being so coy with the first one.

• Get hold of a copy of 'This Day In History' if you are out of ideas

  Use prompt cards, no shame there

  Keep it short

  Remember a funny anecdote for you may not be the same for Auntie Ethel or Cousin Fred

  Always rehearse it out loud , in front of somebody      

  Check your flies - someone is bound to be filming it.

  Don’t forget to 'Spank, sorry...thank the Bridesmaids'…it’s the law.

chillidoggy

Hope you have a great time! Don't forget to zip your fly up after you've been for a piss.

And look out for the old old chestnut where the girls tuck their dresses into their pants after they've had a few Lambrinis.

frankus

I started with "People often ask me what she sees in him..."

relayed the time we were stopped by the police with him being towed on a frying pan and how he got away scott free...

"... so I would have to say charm"

that was over 20 years ago now

Deadman

Ha, cheers lads. Well. I've finished my speech in rough form. I think I've got a decent balance of humour and I've used the charts/this day in history to my advantage! Tomorrow I'll type it up and format it (colour coded/prompt cards) and practice.
One thing that's pissed me off is the wedding is at 3 but the hotel venue wants an extra 50 quid off us for early check in (before the official check in time: lo and behold at 3!). It's already 120 quid for the room!
Still looking forward to it though.

Handsome_Chris

A wisdom for the practicing, sir. Please let us know the result.