do I have a case RE refusing sons school detention

strumjoughlamps

my 11 yo lad gets in from school today and looks a little upset so I asked what's up to which I get..

'teacher has given the whole class 1 hour detention tomorrow and ive got rugby training'

so I ask what's gone on and it turns out a few of the 25 in the class were being less than quiet in the library last lesson and teacher then found a daily newspaper had been crumpled up and when no one admitted to it she gave them 1hr detention.

my son even said that when some pupils were being noisy near him he moved to the other side, and I can well believe it he doesn't like trouble and confrontation at all..

so I gave the school a ring but the teacher in question wasn't available but they got all the info.

1/2 later teacher rings me and here are some of her quotes.

'don't worry detention wont be tomorrow as we have to send out a letter' this is irrelevant

'don't worry it wont be 1 hour I just say that to scare them'

'I use these methods to get them into line' WHAT?!?!?!

and the best

'to be fair I could see Joe wasn't one of the pupils involved'

so she asked how I felt about that so I say I feel she has tried a tactic that has failed and it is not giving me any confidence in your methods, how can you punish pupils when you know and have admitted were not involved, surely trying to trick children into confessions is just a bit silly really, I appreciated your call but wont be leaving it at that I shall get onto the head in the morning and the PTA after that but I can assure you Joe will not be attending your detention...

its that bloody last bit I wish I had not have said, what if they now say Joe attends detention or gets excluded and we will have to find a new school.... I cant be doing that so will obviously have to give in..

do I have a case?

Grunfeld

I wouldn't worry about it or make a fuss.  It doesn't matter that it's not logical or it's not justice.  That's life, and a decent lesson to be learning IMO.

capo4th

Move along and don't antagonise the teacher any further she clearly understands your lad wasn't involved

Gassage

Honestly? I think you're overreacting. Part of a team and all that. Let it run.

WezV

I feel for the teacher, having been one a few years back.

There is so little you can actually do when kids are misbehaving.  Its not hard to end up in an irrational place. 

Sambostar

Take him out of school and buy him a shire horse and cart and get him collecting scrap metal and people's front gates for his living.

capo4th

Hahahahahahaha

strumjoughlamps

Sambostar said:

Take him out of school and buy him a shire horse and cart and get him collecting scrap metal and people's front gates for his living.

that's his weekend job

Fretwired

Grunfeld said:

I wouldn't worry about it or make a fuss.  It doesn't matter that it's not logical or it's not justice.  That's life, and a decent lesson to be learning IMO.

I totally agree with @Grunfeld .. by involving everyone peer pressure will be brought to bear on those that caused the problem ensuring it won't happen again.

musicegbdf

It is difficult as we are all protective of our kids, but agree with a lot of the replies.
Teachers have a tough time and have little to keep control
Even if he really was innocent ( kids don't always tell parents the truth)
It will still be a life lesson . Better now than when he is 16 and mates are messing with drink or drugs...

FelineGuitars

WezV said:

I feel for the teacher, having been one a few years back.

There is so little you can actually do when kids are misbehaving.  Its not hard to end up in an irrational place. 

Teachers are allowed to take so little action that they need to find techniques to enforce good behaviour.

Punishing the whole class will piss off the well behaved majority, especially if it happens time and time again, and in theory they will turn on the perpetually acting up classmates....it's a bit Lord of the Flies, but it's the same as happens in the forces as well to instil discipline.

Evilmags

Oh dear. The play ground mafia strikes again.

Drew_TNBD

FelineGuitars said:

in theory they will turn on the perpetually acting up classmates....

It never works. It absolutely never works. The kids who are good and behave and follow the lessons are not the type to gang up together and silence the few fuckwits disrupting the lesson. Because the few fuckwits disrupting the lesson are usually the bullies and the aggressive kids who will take their retribution.

The teacher fucked up. I just don't believe she has no idea about who was causing it. She'll absolutely have a gut feel for it, especially with a class that she teaches regularly, and she should've put known trouble makers out in the hallway. Persecution? Yeah it might be, but so what... that's another life lesson that people should learn. Act like a douche, get the repercussions.

strumjoughlamps

musicegbdf said:

Even if he really was innocent ( kids don't always tell parents the truth)

the teacher has told me he was innocent..

I do get you all I really do same punish all tactics in the army but the poor lad works so hard to keep his record clean for when its school fun trips time(they exclude the pupils with poor records) which I am sure this wont affect that much.

I am going to contact the head tomorrow though and arrange a meeting, just so I am clear on procedure, and leave it at that.

ICBM

State school or private school?

strumjoughlamps

ICBM said:

State school or private school?

state all boys

Bucket

Drew_fx said:

It never works. It absolutely never works. The kids who are good and behave and follow the lessons are not the type to gang up together and silence the few fuckwits disrupting the lesson. Because the few fuckwits disrupting the lesson are usually the bullies and the aggressive kids who will take their retribution.

This.

Boy do I not miss school

FelineGuitars

Drew_fx said:

FelineGuitars said:

in theory they will turn on the perpetually acting up classmates....

It never works. It absolutely never works. The kids who are good and behave and follow the lessons are not the type to gang up together and silence the few fuckwits disrupting the lesson. Because the few fuckwits disrupting the lesson are usually the bullies and the aggressive kids who will take their retribution.

The teacher fucked up. I just don't believe she has no idea about who was causing it. She'll absolutely have a gut feel for it, especially with a class that she teaches regularly, and she should've put known trouble makers out in the hallway. Persecution? Yeah it might be, but so what... that's another life lesson that people should learn. Act like a douche, get the repercussions.

I'd agree with your summation about good kids behaviour and that the disruptive ones also being bullies too.

I feel that the school system is screwed up with teachers having no powers and the whole issue of singling out pupils for bad behaviour.

BigMonka

Even if you don't agree with the school this time try not to let on an attitude in your house that the school is wrong, just because it's too easy to give your kids the impression that they don't need to listen to the teachers or respect their punishments.

hungrymark

I'm a teacher and have tried the whole class detention thing. Doesn't work. There will be no lord of the flies type repercussions. Good kids are good because they just want to get on and stay out of trouble, not rise up against the rebels. They'll also probably end up distrusting the teacher because they'll see it as he can't be bothered, or worse, is too scared, to single out the trouble makers. You'll piss off the parents too, as has happened here, which no teacher wants because that's just extra hassle.

If it's your decision not to attend detention he won't be excluded either. You'll probably just find that the teacher in question is extra nice at the next parents' evening. I'd call her out on it.

PolarityMan

Book an hour meeting to discuss it with the teacher last thing on a Friday evening and see how they like it. Especially of its a usual finishing time instead of only working half a day.