do I have a case RE refusing sons school detention

randomhandclaps

chillidoggy said:

 and short of you turning up with an AK47, you won't move the bastard teachers.

And that would only lead to another detention, surely?!

Sambostar

Parents should stay well clear I reckon, it's part of their experience, not the parents and out of the realm of parents interference and for them to figure out how to negotiate out of it.  I always got detentions and suspensions for trivial things like smoking in school and not having the right school uniform, after a while it got to being every day.  My mum made it a whole lot worse by going in and saying they should go easy on me as I they thought I had a drug problem.  Yeah, thanks mum.

chillidoggy

If I came home complaining that the teacher hit me, the old man would draw me one off. He said it was just in case the teacher didn't hit me hard enough.

Axe_meister

I was a straight A student. Now my parents didn't get involved at all to the point where I went to my own parent teacher nights. At this point the teacher decided she had to treat me like a grown up.
One teacher even ended up paying me to stay behind in school to teach him the programming he was to teach us the next day.
I bet the teachers hated me though as they knew they actually had no control over me. No apparent weakness they could exploit.

midiglitch

I am a teacher in a state comprehensive.

We have a saying in my department: 'if it's one or two kids, its the kids.  If it's four or five or more...its the teacher.'

I'm really sorry to hear that you've had this experience as it reflects really badly on teachers. Please stand firm and do not allow your son to be given a dt.  If more parents challenged teachers and enquired about classroom environments then it would surely help raise the standards in school classrooms, which are frankly very poor a lot of the time.

Kid can be motivated and engaged such that there are no 'behaviour' problems.  Sadly when I see teachers keeping the whole class behind it only reflects on one person.  I see it more in trainees and nqts and less in experienced teachers.  Usually the teacher will want the best education for your child but may not have the experience or support from leadership in the school to know how get that outcome.  

If you can communicate to the teacher that he/she needs to reflect on his/her practise while being mindful of the fact that they are trying their best you might be able to instigate a long lasting beneficial change for everyone.  Good luck.

VimFuego

randomhandclaps said:

That's shocked me.  Aside from Vim naturally I would have put Sambostar absolute top of the list of forumites most likely to have actual skeletons in their actual closet.

no skeletons in my closet. Mrs F made me move them to make room for her fucking shoes.

midiglitch

Postscript..

I forgot to say that there is a very real difference between parents legitimately challenging poor decisions made by teachers and schools, and parents who simply undermine school rules and principles, perhaps to be the 'big dog' at home.  Teachers need the support of parents to properly educate children and vice versa.  What I am talking about above is calling out the other party when the BS meter hits the redline.

'It takes a village to raise a child.'

Neil

When I was at Grammar school we got mass detentions fairly often but then most of us were pretty much involved. Kids surprisingly, like to muck about sometimes.  

That said nobody would want their parents getting involved or going down the school it would have been the height of embarrassment frankly.

VimFuego

I've not read the whole thread, so dunno if this has been mentioned but I don't see the point of mass detentions. You're punishing the innocent cos you lack the ability or resources to find and punish the guilty. What kind of message is that sending to children?

strumjoughlamps

some good comments going on >-

I am not a complain and question everything type regarding school and this will be my first involvement, I am finding it really frustrating being told by the teacher that she knew my lad was not involved yet he still gets the detention..

if it was for EG a table of 12 and whilst teacher was turned away something happened and teacher 100% cannot single out anyone for who it was or wasn't then that is different; but I am just not happy how the teacher has chosen to handle this..

anyways my good lady typed out a letter last night and has gone to the school now to deliver it hoping the head or head of year will be available for a chat.. see what that brings.

chillidoggy

My school was like a more sadistic version of Kelsey Grammar.

randomhandclaps

chillidoggy said:

My school was like a more sadistic version of Kelsey Grammar.

http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121018144434/villains/images/2/2a/Stinky_Pete_the_Prospector.png

hungrymark

Axe_meister;395685" said:

I was a straight A student. Now my parents didn't get involved at all to the point where I went to my own parent teacher nights. At this point the teacher decided she had to treat me like a grown up.
One teacher even ended up paying me to stay behind in school to teach him the programming he was to teach us the next day.
I bet the teachers hated me though as they knew they actually had no control over me. No apparent weakness they could exploit.

Haha, yeah, probably not. I bet they were just happy to have a geek who didn't cause aggro. Remember most teachers just want to do their job with minimum hassle and go home, like everybody else. If a kid doesn't need controlling that's pretty much the dream. And that was you.

Jalapeno

One thought - don't single your kid out and hence make him bully bait. But do challenge the teacher

randomhandclaps

Jalapeno said:

But do challenge the teacher

:-O You can't challenge a woman to fight!  That's insane.
 

Snap

when I was at school (80s) our teachers often used to twat us with anything to hand, often your own shoe, or a chalk duster, or one of those big metre long rulers. We had one gym teacher who used to kick people up the arse a lot, dead hard too. We thought nothing of it really, and most of the time we deserved it. How times change though, cos if a teacher raised a hand to either of my kids, I'd probably go up to the school and lamp them without a second thought.

I'd hate to be a teacher, I reckon I'd last a day. Admire them a lot.

Snap

Perhaps that is beacouse I was brutalised as a kid, and have deep scars,,,,lol

Fretwired

VimFuego said:

randomhandclaps said:

That's shocked me.  Aside from Vim naturally I would have put Sambostar absolute top of the list of forumites most likely to have actual skeletons in their actual closet.

no skeletons in my closet. Mrs F made me move them to make room for her fucking shoes.

None in mine either .. I sold them all to a couple of hard-up medical students from Barts ... they pay good money for a decent skeleton.

chillidoggy

randomhandclaps said:

Jalapeno said:

But do challenge the teacher

:-O You can't challenge a woman to fight!  That's insane.
 

Unless the school is in Thanet. Then it's the usual method of settling any such issues.

p90fool

I think this is a huge overreaction to be honest - this was probably the most common threat or punishment when I was in school, ("Stop it or you'll ALL stay behind!") in the 60s and 70s.

There WAS no golden age, the teachers were allowed to beat us then and some did, but they generally didn't want to.
It's assumed now that teachers' hands are tied, and that "in my day" they had pretty well any form of disciplinary procedure available to them, but it didn't prevent a female maths teacher in my school being hung upside-down out of a second floor window by 13-year-old girls.

The deputy head and a physics teacher had a police escort in and out of school every day for months for their own protection, so school discipline has always been a battle of minds, not of force. Giving teachers the power to administer corporal punishment makes no difference whatsoever and never did.