Smacking children

jonnyburgo

Who's for and who's against, I've never smacked my two. I used to get cracked off my mum and dad when I was little and it didn't stop me from being naughty.

I think that it is unnecessary and ineffective

Opinions?

Col_Decker

I hear the Pope likes it

jd0272

jonnyburgo;33744" said:

Who's for and who's against, I've never smacked my two. I used to get cracked off my mum and dad when I was little and it didn't stop me from being naughty.

I think that it is unnecessary and ineffective

Opinions?

Been watching Loose Wimmin today eh...

jonnyburgo

jd0272 said:

jonnyburgo;33744" said:

Who's for and who's against, I've never smacked my two. I used to get cracked off my mum and dad when I was little and it didn't stop me from being naughty.

I think that it is unnecessary and ineffective

Opinions?

Been watching Loose Wimmin today eh...

Yes you caught me out LOL!

Col_Decker

I'm in favour. Stop it .. smack .... don't do it again .... explain why.

 

As long as you don't forget the explain bit I don't see it as a problem as a last resort. But imo kids are/can be cunning little twats, if you always take the nicely softly 'talk to them like little adults' approach they will walk all over you.

fretmeister

In favour in certain situations.

I recall one instance when my daughter was refusing to leave a power socket alone (There was a safety cover on it, but she was determined). She was warned several times and moved away. A 2 year old has no concept of potential risk.

The safest thing was for her to associate the power socket with pain. So she got a smack.

RocknRollDave

I am 100% against smacking. It might stop children being naughty, but it does it through fear and through the communication of the idea that violence is a means to end a problem.

My daughter is three years old and, as they are at that age, quite trying at times, but for me I'd be mortified if I so much as raised my voice at her aggressively. I have to be firm with her and convey that she's doing something wrong that is making Daddy unhappy, of course, as sometimes it is for her own immediate safety too - e.g. "Stop playing with the plug socket!" - but I make a conscious effort not to use the word "angry" or to show anger.
Not saying I always manage it, but it's my aim. If I can't control her without anger, it's up to me to work out a better strategy, anger is not the answer, IMO.

not_the_dj

fretmeister said:

 A 2 year old has no concept of potential risk.

This.

When they're too young to understand reasoning it's needed (IMO) as a last resort or in really serious situations.

VimFuego

I have no issue with smacking other people's kids.

on an unrelated note, my trial starts next week.

Phil_aka_Pip

A smack with the flat of the hand across the buttocks can be unpleasant physically, and probably a bit humiliating, but IMO does no real damage physically or even psychologically if done for the right reasons on the right occasions. Whereas fists, belts, baseball bats etc cause damage wherever applied and IMO should never be used. IMO the only place where it is permissible to apply a smack is on the buttocks - legs wrists hands etc are all prone to damage. The intent is always to correct bad behaviour, never to damage or vent anger, and IMO should be used as a last resort, although I agree with @not_the_dj and @fretmeister that the last resort stage is often reached sooner during very early life when argument and reason are somewhat above the child's capability.

I wish the anti-smackers would stop equating a smack (ie the flat of the hand) with a thump (ie the fist).

jonnyburgo

I find that raising my voice or sometimes showing that I am angry is enough of a deterrent, I think that anger is a natural emotion that shouldn't be suppressed, therefore by showing a full range of emotions will (hopefully) encourage children to be able to do so too.

I do always feel bad if I make them cry by shouting though and always follow up with an explanation.  To be fair it doesn't happen too often. I remember when my parents used to whack me when I was very little would put a weeble in its car and pretend it was my mum/dad and push it down the stairs!

Then as I got older and got smacked I would go upstairs calling them wankers under my breath.

It doesn't make you respect your parents IMO at all.

Phil_aka_Pip

jonnyburgo said:

It doesn't make you respect your parents IMO at all.

I don't think it's intended to. I respected my folks for who they were, not because I'd get a smack if I was naughty.

ToneControl

I asked Mrs last week, I think she smacked one once when she bit the other, we've not smacked them other than that, and they've turned out OK

My Dad used to get very angry occasionally, that was scarier than a smack I reckon

PolarityMan

fretmeister said:

In favour in certain situations.

I recall one instance when my daughter was refusing to leave a power socket alone (There was a safety cover on it, but she was determined). She was warned several times and moved away. A 2 year old has no concept of potential risk.

The safest thing was for her to associate the power socket with pain. So she got a smack.

I don't have kids but my personal feeling are along these lines. If it is a deterrent for doing something that is actually dangerous is the only circumstances I feel it is appropriate.

Phil_aka_Pip

An Irish bloke doing stand up at Edinburgh commented on his father's use of the 'f' word. At the meal table, if he said "Pass the f___in' bread" that was OK, just normal swearing. If he said "F___in' pass the bread", it meant you were in deep trouble for something.

DesVegas

I was smacked with a fly swatter (the handle) as a kid and it was a deterrent to me ... i'm not going to do that as i'm going to get hit by mum with the fly swatter and it hurts .. 

i have a 3 year old daughter and have only smacked her once when she bit me .. biting is never cool and she has not done it to me or anyone since .. hooray.

Both Mrs Vegas and I would only use smacking as a very last resort, but we will use it if needed.

VimFuego

my mum used to take a chainsaw to us. We knew we were in trouble when you came home from school and she'd be sat at the kitchen table, sharpening old cutty.

Hurt at the time, but never did me any harm, made me the man I am today.

Loobs

I think my old man gave me a slap in the face when I was a cocky 17 year old. Probably deserved it.

holnrew

Definitely against. My dad hit me a lot, singled me out more than my sisters. There wasn't any logic to it though, I wasn't very naughty.

Moved on from it now though, he realises it was wrong and it was learned from his dad doing it to him.

I do worry it will be a natural reaction to my kids being naughty.

xmrchi

Smack on the bum : Yes Smack anywhere else : No

Children are bloody clever I see a lot of instances where Children run the home, and have no respect for their parents. 

I find is the behaviour has not changed after the 3rd time of telling/explaining, a smack on the bum nearly always put the point across and it stops. 

Worked for me , Works for my kids, so Im for but only when all other options have been exhausted.

vasselmeyer

VimFuego said:

my mum used to take a chainsaw to us. We knew we were in trouble when you came home from school and she'd be sat at the kitchen table, sharpening old cutty.

Hurt at the time, but never did me any harm, made me the man I am today.

If it was a chainsaw that made you the man you are today, presumably there are some spare pieces that could make another little @VimFuego as well.