Smacking children

strumjoughlamps

I got absolutely battered as a child to mid teens, leather belt, bamboo canes, fire poker and fists.. in my early to mid 20s it took alot of getting drunk and eventually counselling to get over the worst of the memories(which was seeing my Mum get a slap when she tried to stick up for me).. other than that my Dad is a decent chap and has provided and got me out of a few financial sticky situations and bad times aside he has been a good Dad and was a good husband to my Mum..

I couldn't bring myself to raise a hand to my 3, I believe there are much better and more successful ways to show a kid and they change with the times..currently my Daughter knows she will have her phone taken away if naughty, eldest son its going to bed early, youngest son its no Ninjago after tea and as said they change with the times... with smacking it means smacking harder and harder and for me its not the answer..

thisisguitar

Sorted it:

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/feb/06/barber-disciplines-kids-old-man-haircut

randomhandclaps

I'm am completely in line with @fretmeister's explanation.  I don't smack my children as a form of discipline but I completely believe there are extreme situations, especially when they are young, where it's the lesser of two evils.  I find these incidents (or their failures to understand that we are trying to protect their safety not spoil their fun) where they do not listen and cannot be reasoned with verbally drop off drastically the older they get.

My dad kicked the shit out of me when the mood took him so I have no idea when he was actually trying to apply it as discipline.  As a result I don't really have a cast iron point of view of whether smacking as a form of disciple ultimately works or not.

hobbio

Mine used to get a slapped arse for really dangerous stuff, but we stopped when we worked out that it wasn't working. We sat her down, told her that she wouldn't get smacked any more under any circumstances but her punishments would change. Now she loses things for a period of time, like no sweets and treats for 2 weeks or no tablet or phone for a while etc. It just works so much better for our girl, and to be fair she's a good kid anyway most of the time.

I was definitely smacked as a child, and teenager, up until I went into care at 14. I'm breaking that cycle.

hobbio

VimFuego said:

my mum used to take a chainsaw to us. We knew we were in trouble when you came home from school and she'd be sat at the kitchen table, sharpening old cutty.

Hurt at the time, but never did me any harm, made me the man I am today.

What, short?

Phil_aka_Pip

randomhandclaps said:

My dad kicked the shit out of me when the mood took him so I have no idea when he was actually trying to apply it as discipline.  As a result I don't really have a cast iron point of view of whether smacking as a form of disciple ultimately works or not.

My experience was completely different. My parents were never violent towards each other or us kids. If we got smacked it was for discipline and no other reason. When the years of understanding came, we kids knew that.

VimFuego

hobbio said:

VimFuego said:

my mum used to take a chainsaw to us. We knew we were in trouble when you came home from school and she'd be sat at the kitchen table, sharpening old cutty.

Hurt at the time, but never did me any harm, made me the man I am today.

What, short?

and bitter.

Gassage

Kids one is a tough one- I'll give an example- my springer chased sheep once. It was the only time I gave her a good thrashing- my rationale was that I was saving her life as in Shropshire they shoot dogs for sheep worrying just for fun.

Yes please to consenting adults though.

jellyroll

I have 3 kids and have smacked one (the youngest) once. I still feel bad about it. She was being cheeky and I just lost it and smacked her bum. It was me losing control, not a deliberate, considered action. For that moment, I failed as a parent. 

d8m

Never got slapped.

Unless it was that hard It gave me amnesia and I can't remember.

Rocker

Col_Decker said:

I'm in favour. Stop it .. smack .... don't do it again .... explain why.

 As long as you don't forget the explain bit I don't see it as a problem as a last resort. But imo kids are/can be cunning little twats, if you always take the nicely softly 'talk to them like little adults' approach they will walk all over you.

I think that is a fair way of dealing with the situation.  Before any act of boldness is committed, it would be in order to explain to the child/children that there are consequences for their actions and what those consequences are...

chillidoggy

I used to get regularly smacked as a kid, and I hated it. These days I've learned to live with it. Funny how time changes things, eh!

jd0272

I used to regularly hurt my hand smacking our lot. I use a hammer now.

Wolfetone

You do not strike/hit/assault the ones you love...

viz

ToneControl said:

I asked Mrs last week, I think she smacked one once when she bit the other

Actually quite difficult to do without leaving teeth marks.

musicegbdf

Yes within reason. Had to only do it a few times. Then sent them to their room. After around 15 mins I go up and explain why I punished them , then give them a big cuddle. This seems to have worked for me.
I recall one of mine was a biter when she was young
she bit me so I bit her back. Not hard, left no mark, but it stopped and she never bit anyone again. I again explained that biting hurts people....

capo4th

Why would you ever want to hit a child? My son is 5 and he knows what's going on by my communication style with him. He is a good boy and we rarely have cause to have words. We all know where we stand and he knows when he has done something or is about to do something wrong or dangerous.

John_P

Most of the posters here are pretty thoughtful people, capable of explaining actions and discussing a situation.  If a parent uses smacking as considered but rarely used part of a range of sanctions I don't see a big issue. 

 I think there are better ways to discourage poor behaviour - kids like firm boundaries and consistent approach -so things like the naughty step followed by an explanation are better but there are plenty of situations where you might want a short sharp shock as well but it would be pretty rare imo.

JookyChap

Col_Decker said:

I hear the Pope likes it

To be fair, a smack on the bum is a kind of progress, it's traditionally a pair of bollox slapping little kids arses

jd0272

Wolfetone said:

You do not strike/hit/assault the ones you love...

You're correct. I don't. The hammer does.