Friday humour

Sesh

Well, that sucks. 

chillidoggy

Is is a Hoover Junior, though.

bobeschism

Shrews

chillidoggy said:

https://i.imgur.com/dUgD6lG.jpg

Surely missing the small print:

"Entrants must be 12 or under...or dead."

boogieman

rogd

bertie

bertie

Kittyfrisk

bertie

proggy

Don't you just hate it when you're on the toilet and you notice there's no toilet paper left?
Then you have to walk like a penguin with your trousers round your ankles to get another roll.
Anyway, I'm nearly at Sainsbury's Local.

boogieman

A man’s wife has been in a coma for several months but the doctors don’t know what’s causing it or how to treat it. One day a new consultant starts work at the hospital. He calls the woman’s husband in for a chat. 

“I’ve discovered through my research that these cases sometimes respond to stimulus of one particular area of the brain; the part that governs sexual stimulation. Are you willing to try something unusual?”

”Yes of course doctor, anything!”

”ok, well then, I want you to go into her room and give your wife oral sex”. 

The guy duly goes into his wife’s room, but after a few minutes all her monitor alarms start screeching. The doctor rushes into the room but finds the woman is dead. 

“What happened? Were you doing the oral sex like I said?”

”Yes, but I think she choked.”

axisus

axisus

Gandalph

DesVegas

The thing I find most unbelievable about the the Bible was that Jesus, as a male adult, had twelve friends.

Brio

For vegan you can substitute 'IronMan racer". (Or singlespeed cyclist. Insert guilty emoji here...)

DesVegas

From my ten year old daughter....

Her - What did the boy with no arms get for christmas?

Me - ...........I don't know

Her - no-one does, he hasn't opened it yet

DesVegas

Knock knock, who's there? Not the boy with no arms

Her again with a quick fire double round 

Brio

Ableist!!!!