Friday humour

roberty

rogd said:

Still snorting too by the sounds of it

littlegreenman

Hootsmon

Scotland 2 Spain 0

littlegreenman

Adey

An alien wouldn't recognice them as humans today, 50 years on. They aren't fat enough.

Tannin

Surf club bans nudity in change rooms.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/mar/30/australian-surf-clubs-policy-banning-nudity-in-changerooms-bewilders-swimmers

You couldn't make this shit up.

munckee

Woman in my office was telling me earlier that her husband has been having an affair and she is leaving him, although he has begged for forgiveness it “goes against everything she believes in”. 

She has a short memory, at the Christmas do she spent a considerable amount of time trying to persuade me to get a hotel room so we could have sex and no one would ever know, even telling me I was boring as I don’t cheat on my wife. 

nero1701

munckee said:

Woman in my office was telling me earlier that her husband has been having an affair and she is leaving him, although he has begged for forgiveness it “goes against everything she believes in”. 

She has a short memory, at the Christmas do she spent a considerable amount of time trying to persuade me to get a hotel room so we could have sex and no one would ever know, even telling me I was boring as I don’t cheat on my wife. 

Did you remind her? 

Sporky

Tannin said:

Surf club bans nudity in change rooms.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/mar/30/australian-surf-clubs-policy-banning-nudity-in-changerooms-bewilders-swimmers

You couldn't make this shit up.

Interestingly, changerooms.bewilders.swimmers is the What3Words reference for a nudist beach near Skegness. 

rogd

Tannin

^ I call bullshit.Not possible that any Australian animal would ever say "mom", only Americans say that.

drofluf

A day late and shamelessly stole but

bobeschism

Kittyfrisk

Sellect? Is that better than select?

ESBlonde

Kittyfrisk said:

Sellect? Is that better than select?

Obviously it’s an L of a lot more!

Tannin

^ Nicely played sir!

littlegreenman

axisus

^ No clue what that is about. What the frick is an Oxford comma!?!? 

Sporky

It's when you have a list of things, and put a comma before the "and" before the last thing. So the last sentence in that clipping would change to:

"Highlights of Peter Ustinov's global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year old demigod, and a dildo collector"

monquixote

axisus said:

^ No clue what that is about. What the frick is an Oxford comma!?!? 

Consider if the author's parents are Ayn Rand and God and the answer may present itself.