Friday humour

Haych · June 10

Four nuns were in line for confession.

The first nun went in to the confessional box, sat down and said, "Father, please forgive me for I have sinned. I touched a man's private parts with my hand".

The priest replied, "Well, it could have been a mistake, in a crowded place you could easily touch a man's private parts without intending to".

"No, father", the nun replied, "I did it on purpose".

"Well, wash your hand in holy water on your way out and your sins are forgiven", was the priest's reply.

On the way out the other nuns observed her washing her hand before she went on her way.

The second nun entered the confessional box and sat down. "Please forgive me father for I have sinned, I touched a man's private parts with both my hands".

"It's possible you didn't mean to", the priests said once again, "it would be easy to accidentally touch a man in a crowded room".

"No, father, I did it on purpose".

"I see", came the voice from the other side of the confessional, "wash both your hands in holy water on your way out and your sins are forgiven".

The nun left and washed her hands in holy water in front of the remaining two nuns waiting to confess their sins.

The nun last in place for confession then turned to the third nun and said, "Do you mind if I take confession before you do".

The third nun replied, "Well, I suppose so but why"?

"Well, I don't want to have to gargle that holy water after you've sat in it"!

goldtop · June 10

Image: https://tfb-user-images.eu-central-1.linodeobjects.com/8cc8e8925e78ae6e628d86e9fd24c370bc2622c338b2f55ed0

bluecat · June 12

Junk is something you keep for years and years then dump it.
Two weeks later you find that you need it.

Haych · June 13

maltingsaudio · June 13

Haych said:

So when did BMW lose to Audi?

DefaultM · June 13

Haych said:

I nearly killed a high school kid on one of those last week. Traffic lights went green, I turned left and suddenly see a school blazer flapping and it's a kid on the wrong side of the road heading right for me.
I just thought why the fuck would you give that to your kid and say yeah ride it down the road with the cars to get home from school?

goldtop · June 13

maltingsaudio said:

Haych said:

So when did BMW lose to Audi?

Shortly after the Audi TT came out. It was covered in a TV documentary called "Top Gear".

Adey · June 13

DefaultM said:

Haych said:

I nearly killed a high school kid on one of those last week. Traffic lights went green, I turned left and suddenly see a school blazer flapping and it's a kid on the wrong side of the road heading right for me.
I just thought why the fuck would you give that to your kid and say yeah ride it down the road with the cars to get home from school?

It's just natural selection!