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and needless to say,making a visit is not a pleasant experience.So much so that on most days I actually go home on my lunch break rather than use the vastly inadequate facilities.Some of the horrors I've seen could scar you for life.
I'm pretty sure there's regulations in place about minimum amount of toilets per number of workers,though I may be wrong.
My work place is also full of filthy animals as well. Ive lost count of the amount of times ive walked in there to find massive amounts of pebble dash (theres a bloody loo brush right there mate), on the back AND sides of the bowl. Im not sure how people manage to get it on the sides to be honest as the cubicles are quite tight, and wouldn't be easy to swivel on the seat to do this.
I walked in there just this morning though, and someone had left the biggest shit in there that I think ive ever seen. Seriously, it was like King Kongs finger, and must have REALLY hurt on the way out. I don't recall seeing anyone hobbling back to there desk though, so might have been there all weekend.
We were all told to be vigilante and on one such Friday, Trap 3 had been occupied for an unusually lengthy amount of time and we thought we'd caught the culprit. As it was late in the day, Security left their desk to apprehend Mr.Whippy only to find that The Phantom Crapper had already struck in that toilet earlier that day and Facilities had refused to clean it up and locked the door.
Security returned to their post only to find that in their absence, the Phantom Crapper had struck behind their desk!!!
Unhygienic, troubled and weird although we did have someone who worked there with the surname de Sade. I'm joking but the rest is true.
The greatest challenge with making a bombing run in my office walking past the table of finance ladies. All 6 of them range from young hottie to Milf. If they see me walk past their desk to the bogs, and 10 mins later walk back, they'll all know I've been for a shit.
I cannot accept that so I have to make a 5 min walk to the other factory toilets for #2's.
Ed Conway & The Unlawful Men - Alt Prog Folk: The FaceBook and The SoundCloud
'Rope Or A Ladder', 'Don't Sing Love Songs', and 'Poke The Frog' albums available now - see FaceBook page for details
It's worse in the shopping centre I have to walk through every day to get to work - the public toilets are frequented by gobshite school kids and the like - so opening the toilet lid will probably unveil a huge smattering of bangers and mash in the bowl.
Basically they took it in turns to have a shit somewhere in the house and the others had to find it, the longer it went unfound the better as you were the winner.
One guy took it to the extreme. He took the big communal tub of butter and melted it down, did a poo in the tub and poured the melted butter back over his poo and let it set and put it back in the fridge. Everyone in the house used the butter for a few days before he came clean and told them. They thought they it was hilarious.
My mate moved out shortly after.
I university friend of mine used to deliberately wee on the things around the toilet instead of the toilet itself. He once came back to our bar table to proudly declare that someone had left the cover to the toilet roll dispenser on the floor so he had filled it up with wee.
If memory serves I considered it to be quite funny at the time. Not sure I would now though.
Game played by Gentlemen, rugger. Gentlemen.
What is wrong with some of these people?
Both psychologically and also medically. With some of the things we have to endure in the work toilet bowl I worry that some people are seriously poorly and need to go to a dr
Worst I've seen was in the bogs at Ockham Bites on the A3. It looked like someone had stood in front of the open khazi door, and their arse had exploded with the worst case of the squitters I've ever seen. Literally everything was covered in pebbledash, the bog, the walls, the cistern, the lot. It looked like it had been shot from a hosepipe.
I wasn't sure whether I was shocked or worried for the bloke.
Ed Conway & The Unlawful Men - Alt Prog Folk: The FaceBook and The SoundCloud
'Rope Or A Ladder', 'Don't Sing Love Songs', and 'Poke The Frog' albums available now - see FaceBook page for details