Funniest non sweary name to call someone?

WezV

Clarky;1132887" said:

Snap said:

Div





I've always liked div and mong

Seriously, mong?

Lets add spakka as a non offensive insult too.

WezV

Although, along those lines....

Locally we enjoy calling people a biv or bitham... Pronounced bivvum

Absolutely nothing to do with the special school on Bitham Lane... Honest.

Fretwired

I quite like this .. someone used it to describe Gove ..

Poundland Lannister

Jetfire

Has anyone mentioned pleb?

RobDavies

english_bob said:

Some of these are stretching "non-sweary" a bit.

I have to do this a lot with my kids. I usually go for "plum".

My kids are mental, so they're starting to invent their own names to call each other. My favourite so far is "fomper".

Weirdly, my brother did that when we were little. I got called "ponker" a lot.

Yeah. Plum is the go to clean word of abuse in our house.

Melt is a good 'un and I'm rather fond of 'specimen', too.

equalsql

Plank,

Fur Burger
Wazzock
Cock Breath

Iamnobody

WezV;1133554" said:

[quote="Clarky;1132887"]Snap said:

Div





I've always liked div and mong

Seriously, mong?

Lets add spakka as a non offensive insult too. [/quote]

What about spangle - it's a mix of spastic and Mongol but not 'that' offencive as most people probably won't know it's meaning.

nickb_boy

BoJo

d8m

TheBlueWolf

Donut, dipstick, douche or plonker if I'm not allowed to get all potty mouth

TheMarlin

Really, you can't go wrong with 'twat'.

Love the classics...

Sporky

"Twat" is arguably a bit sweary, mind.

breakstuff

Spanner.

Strangefan

Toothless simpleton

merlin

Toad-hole.

When we were teenagers we used to use the names "Derek" and "Joseph".

pintspiller

Iamnobody said:

WezV;1133554" said:

[quote="Clarky;1132887"]Snap said:

Div





I've always liked div and mong

Seriously, mong?

Lets add spakka as a non offensive insult too. [/quote]

What about spangle - it's a mix of spastic and Mongol but not 'that' offencive as most people probably won't know it's meaning.

this is like being back in primary school

breakstuff

What a total Gove.



Oh yes,keeping it topical kids.

octatonic

Pom.

Headphones

Favourites here are "Nitwit" and "Twonk".  Capitalised as I'm pretty sure they are the true names of certain colleagues.

Also like Fuckwit, but that rather breaches the question...

strtdv

"There's wiser in the field eating grass" is a favourite insult of mine

"Space cadet" and "fruit loop" are both fairly common over here