How do you deal with difficult, argumentative partners of your friends?

lloyd

DLM said:

WezV said:

cj73 said:

Does your SO share your feelings?

I am not one to cry "mumsnet" when a non macho topic comes along. But that abbreviation makes me think we are getting closer.

WIBBU[1] to point out that the correct abbreviation over there is actually DW[2]?

[1] Would I be being unreasonable

[2] Dear Wife (though of course, they write Dear Husband)

We prefer Bitchez innit?

Moltisanti

invite his wife without him, if he genuinely doesn't want to be there then this is a win-win, if he sees his arse find out why he acts like such a tool when he is there

ESBlonde

He is a cock for involving others in his misery, but I suspect the issue is with his partner and doing a weekend with strangers when he could be golfing, fishing, watching porn, eating junk food, whatever...

A brief confrontation would resolve the public display he felt he needed to inflict on his partner at your expense.

Clarky

Moltisanti said:

invite his wife without him, if he genuinely doesn't want to be there then this is a win-win, if he sees his arse find out why he acts like such a tool when he is there

thing is, you don't want to offend or upset his wife because she's the actual family friend..
so you'll need to choose your words with care and maybe dilute some word choices in the interests of diplomacy..
therefore..
"would you like to come over at the weekend but don't bring you're other half because he's a total fkn nobhead"
would be a little more preferable to the actual truth..

octatonic

Clarky said:

Moltisanti said:

invite his wife without him, if he genuinely doesn't want to be there then this is a win-win, if he sees his arse find out why he acts like such a tool when he is there

thing is, you don't want to offend or upset his wife because she's the actual family friend..
so you'll need to choose your words with care and maybe dilute some word choices in the interests of diplomacy..
therefore..
"would you like to come over at the weekend but don't bring you're other half because he's a total fkn nobhead"
would be a little more preferable to the actual truth..

Yeah, they come as a pair.
It isn't reasonable to invite one and not the other.

Strat_a_tat_tat

On their next visit... could you develop a sudden interest in bondage... and gaffa tape a tennis ball in his mouth (preferably one that your dog has been playing with)?

CabbageCat

monquixote said:

Some people seem rude, but are actually blunt. Once you calibrate yourself to them they can be the easiest people to get on with because you always know where you are.

Wisdomed for this bit.

Everyone is go-on-withable if one is prepared to make the effort - and it's almost always less effort than holding a grudge.

I have a few instances where friends don't like other friends and it's a real pain for those of us who get on with both parties. Sure, we can see the flaws but we just work around them. A flawed friend is better than no friend at all unless one values having enemies (which I also kinda get but disapprove of a bit).

Clarky

octatonic said:

Clarky said:

Moltisanti said:

invite his wife without him, if he genuinely doesn't want to be there then this is a win-win, if he sees his arse find out why he acts like such a tool when he is there

thing is, you don't want to offend or upset his wife because she's the actual family friend..
so you'll need to choose your words with care and maybe dilute some word choices in the interests of diplomacy..
therefore..
"would you like to come over at the weekend but don't bring you're other half because he's a total fkn nobhead"
would be a little more preferable to the actual truth..

Yeah, they come as a pair.
It isn't reasonable to invite one and not the other.

in that case, you have few choices:
- don't invite either of them and lose a friend <-- which sux
- honesty <-- which will be confrontational and possibly fun
- resort to chemical warfare and drop sleeping stuff into his drink

octatonic

My problem with saying something is it is a bit of a one way street in itself.

For a start it isn't really for me to approve or disapprove of a friend's partner to that friend.
We not close enough to think that I have the right to do it.

It is a bit of a conundrum because I feel as though by saying something it puts an impenetrable barrier between us and it would be one I created.
This is why I asked what people did in this situation.

The matter has been resolved though now- not going to say what I did or did not do because I'm like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in 10kg of excess body fat.

Sambostar

So what you're saying is that he had tourettes?

Sambostar

Australians are so Victorian in their values, of course it's your right to say, we're all in this together and if you can't be to the point without beating around the bush what hope is there for humanity?

Paul_C

 

octatonic said:

The matter has been resolved though now

octatonic

Sambostar said:

Australians are so Victorian in their values, of course it's your right to say, we're all in this together and if you can't be to the point without beating around the bush what hope is there for humanity?

ESBlonde

octatonic said:

The matter has been resolved though now- not going to say what I did or did not do because I'm like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in 10kg of excess body fat.

So having got everyone to show themselves you are now holding out on the community!

Tish Tish old boy.

Clarky

octatonic said:

My problem with saying something is it is a bit of a one way street in itself.

For a start it isn't really for me to approve or disapprove of a friend's partner to that friend.
We not close enough to think that I have the right to do it.

It is a bit of a conundrum because I feel as though by saying something it puts an impenetrable barrier between us and it would be one I created.
This is why I asked what people did in this situation.

The matter has been resolved though now- not going to say what I did or did not do because I'm like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in 10kg of excess body fat.

this means that you didn't say anything at all about concrete boots and a lake
and so the enigma you didn't mention remains unsolved..

Evilmags

Picolax. Problem sorted. 

octatonic

ESBlonde said:

octatonic said:

The matter has been resolved though now- not going to say what I did or did not do because I'm like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in 10kg of excess body fat.

So having got everyone to show themselves you are now holding out on the community!

Tish Tish old boy.

I might have made the whole thing up to annoy Sambostar.

Clarky

octatonic said:

ESBlonde said:

octatonic said:

The matter has been resolved though now- not going to say what I did or did not do because I'm like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in 10kg of excess body fat.

So having got everyone to show themselves you are now holding out on the community!

Tish Tish old boy.

I might have made the whole thing up to annoy Sambostar.

ah jeez…. and I've just gone and committed a copy cat enigma that no one mentioned...

Moltisanti

she left him, result.

Sambostar

Moltisanti said:

she left him, result.

People on here are so intrinsically evil and judgemental and snide, the only way I can deal with them is by self administering 7 or 8 pints.  It really is a microcosm of typical English culture.

I'd be like, the guy has issues or hang ups, must break through the wall and do anything so he can join the party, I don't take offence.  Everyone can have a good time. 

You people are like, beat him up or hang him out to dry, he's a loser, finish him.  And once one rolls in, you all do like a pack of bloody hungry wolves, so long as it doesn't inconvenience yourselves of course.