Interesting/Odd behavior in a restaurant

holnrew

Sporky said:

I jiggle. In my last job, in the weekly sales meetings, I ended up taking in fiddle toys because otherwise I'd find that my pen was in bits and everyone was staring at me wondering why I was humming and tapping my feet. For me it's not nervousness; it's just much harder for me to concentrate while sitting still.

The chap in question might have been on the autistic spectrum; that sort of behaviour isn't unusual then. In fact there are so many plausible explanations that to think ill of him is ludicrous. Then again, it is possible that Rocker suffers from a lack of empathy, for which he should not be berated.

That's a good point with the autism. I'm on the spectrum, could explain my legs, but also sometimes I have to shake my hand around which I'm very self conscious of.

Knowing people think ill of me for it doesn't feel particularly good.

Sambostar

@holnrew out of interest, do you have trouble recognising people's faces and hearing conversations in a crowd, or more than just two or three people?  Maybe I'm just mental.

holnrew

Sambostar said:

@holnrew out of interest, do you have trouble recognising people's faces and hearing conversations in a crowd, or more than just two or three people?  Maybe I'm just mental.

I'm fine with faces although I have an autistic friend who isn't. Hearing conversations is problem with noise or more than one person. It's overstimulating.

digitalscream

holnrew said:

Sambostar said:

@holnrew out of interest, do you have trouble recognising people's faces and hearing conversations in a crowd, or more than just two or three people?  Maybe I'm just mental.

I'm fine with faces although I have an autistic friend who isn't. Hearing conversations is problem with noise or more than one person. It's overstimulating.

I have exactly the same problem...interestingly, I only found out about the link between the overstimulation and ASD. My wife is fairly convinced that I'm somewhere north of "normal" on the spectrum, along with a number of other people, and my doctor thinks I should seek a proper diagnosis.

The thing is, I can't see any way in which getting an official diagnosis will actually improve my life; at the age of 39, I've got enough coping mechanisms and a decent enough support system around me that to change it would likely make more problems than solutions.

Sambostar

I can't see how any pigeon holed diagnosis they have these days would help either.  The over stimulation thing is interesting though eh.

I reckon everyone must be somewhere on the scale.  I'm bloody terrible with faces and always, genuinely thinking it's someone I recognise who isn't or someone who is actually someone else entirely, it's embarrassing sometimes, but then everyone can be like that.  I wondered as more and more people I meet think I'm autistic, although I doubt it myself somehow as I went to school with kids who had proper autism.

I do find a steady repetitive pattern of going down the pub at the same time each evening helps a lot though, although I have to sit on my own for an hour or two to get my bearings, otherwise I don't really understand what's going on at all.  Although with plenty of drink I can switch and become fairly normal as I pick up on characters, energy and body language rather than faces. So I think for me at least, it's probably just too much acid that I did in the past and I'm socially lazy.  I find drink helps a lot though I find and I can understand and focus on things much better on a singular level with plenty of drink inside me.

I just think you are who you are at the end of the day.

holnrew

I've found my diagnosis freeing, its stopped me blaming myself for certain behaviours, and and now I know i can't change them I can manage things a bit better. Like my poor social skills aren't ever going to improve, all I can do is cope with them and now I panic less in conversation because I'm not beating myself up for it.

Sambostar

That makes a lot of sense I suppose.  You just need to specialise is all and find a job where you can focus on the detail a bit more.  I think there are a lot of people who can't make sense of anything in a crowded shopping mall or at a function.  Unfortunately though the best money is often made out of dealing with people, unless you have particular incredible talents and are lucky, even technical jobs end up being promoted to people jobs for better pay.   Hearing people and recognising people amongst numbers is a skill I've never managed to get down to be honest, the worst when I couldn't even pick my girlfriend out at an airport, although I've tried really hard at it, but I guess many feel the same.  I'II just stick to what I know I reckon less they diagnose me with early onset drink induced dementia or something.

I think it gets better the older you get, mostly because you don't beat yourself up over things so much and accept who you are and what you can do, but that applies to everything.

Ro_S

^

It wasn't me who picked your g/f up at the airport, just saying.   She was looking lost and anxious.

DrJazzTap

Could the guy in the restaurant just have had far too much caffeine? 

57Deluxe

To OP - perhaps the toilets were out of order?

57Deluxe

boogieman said:

Christian Horner does it all the time during F1 races. I think it's just nervous behaviour. I'd be nervous if I was married to Geri too. 

yeah - George Michael is a regular 'stay-over' round hers... has been for years..