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Either way I was shocked.
Effects for Me & my Monkey YouTube channel Facebook Fretboard's "resident pedal supremo" - mgaw
Effects for Me & my Monkey YouTube channel Facebook Fretboard's "resident pedal supremo" - mgaw
She'll be gone soon enough, and you will be left with thoughts about your behaviour towards her. She was perfectly entitled to vote however she felt without any consideration for anyone else - you included. She's more than likely given priority to everybody else's feelings and wants in the family all her life - cut her some slack ffs. My mum also comes out with some corkers, but I love her and, she's not running for Prime Minister, so her sphere of influence is pretty tiny.
Don't be a dick. You have umpteen years ahead of you. She can see the end of her life approaching. Don't let her spend the latter part of her time being rejected by her son over a fucking referendum vote, differences in personal opinions (that she is perfectly entitled to), and the fact that you put her on some intelligence pedestal.
Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."
@Lloyds post is spot on. Agree not to talk about it. I understand distaste for racism, but I would just make it clear that you disagree strongly, and she needs to understand that you won't talk about it they want to continue the relationship.
It is a crap position to be in, because family are difficult and in your life for a very long time. Parents don't seem to understand that you have your own life to live, it isn't theirs to live vicariously.
My mum comes out with a load of shit too - opinion delivered as incontrovertible fact.
Be a good son and keep schtum. You'll never alter her views.
Thing is, he's 70-odd and grew up in a very different time. Grammar schools, jobs for life, jumpers for goalposts, final salary pensions, etc...
But then on the other hand, he went to Download last year, on his own! And had no problems at all mingling with everyone there. Made a lot of new Facebook friends who think he's great, many of whom are fit young Eastern Europeans! Life in the old dog yet, and surprised both us and himself. He still doesn't like Latvians though, they apparently made up a large part of the SS.
We choose to keep the old man around and accept that we're always going to disagree on some stuff. Even if the old fool does talk a load of bollocks sometimes. He's the only father I'll ever have, so if I can keep it civil and have a beer without any drama, then I'd prefer that.
You don't get to be mad at what she voted for though. All voters can decide how they vote, including you. If a family member got mad at you because you didn't vote the way *they* told you how would you react?
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Especially as your ailing father will be fully aware of the tension, sometimes we have to just take the shit for the "greater good".
if it helps a recent family situation involving my lot, part of a not insignificant family business being effectively given to my Sister (1 of four kids) whilst the rest of us are told to "deal with it"...(she will benefit to the tune of £30000 per year of unearned income for life plus capital appreciation etc)...I recognised pretty quickly that there was nowt i could change so i just accept it and compartmentalise it in my brain....parents v parents + business not easy
try the same trick with Mum + Old stressed racist out voter Mum....
Strangely, this is even more apparent in less immigated areas such as rural Northern Ireland- perhaps over time, familiarity breeds acceptance (I'd assume if people mix)
I'd advise not making it a defining issue. I think most old folk just want to express their dismay at the way their world has been changed, but they are not able to express this in a way that does not offend the modern ear. I she an unkind person? I'd assume not, so I'd try to build a view based her age-related-perspective-constraints, and try to change the subject
Having said that, if she's arsey to foreign medical staff, kick her up the arse
I've often cringed when my dad has used words like "negro" and "negress", but there's genuinely no offence intended. Indeed, he grew up thinking those were the correct, non-offensive terms to use. That said, the other day he did say - rather cautiously - that he wished there weren't quite so many "coloured lads" in the England football team. I just said dad, they were all born in England, the same as you....
Incidentally, he didn't vote leave in the referendum.
but in all seriousness, I have never really had much of a relationship with my mum, I find her thoughts, views and actions out of sync with my own, I moved out at 16.......
recently ive made the effort to reconnect for the sake of my little boy, his other grandmother lives in Cz so I figured it's worth putting up with her nonsense for him to have a nana.
i bite my tongue A LOT!!!!!!
ive come to realise, not every leave voter is a racist bigot, not every remain voter is an enlightened soul.
i feel the rule of never discussing sex, religion or politics at the dinner table holds true elsewhere.
i resent my mum for the choices she made that directly, negatively affected my life, but it's done, I'm a grown up not a child, I'm not gonna cry about it, she's my mother, she( somehow I don't know) managed to raise me to the point I could stand on my own two feet, she didn't do the best but it could have been worse.
in a way, resenting your mum for her beliefs is almost as bad as the resentment she holds towards those 'Polish Muslims'
my advce, don't talk about politics, don't discuss minority groups, Bake-off is pretty safe, maybe the Nolans.......
in short, she's your mum, you choose your friends, you can't pick your family, but blood is blood.
smile, nod, bite your tongue, keep the peace, im sure that would mean more to your dad at this point in his life than anything.
my mum is in Spain and my dad is in Australia
when I'm with her, my mum does my head in at times and I can't wait to get home
but once I'm home I miss her..
my dad is awesome but is so far away it's like he's on a different planet..
and I miss the crap out of him [and my lil' bro]
I can go years without seeing my parents.. and they ain't young anymore
I wish I could see them much more often.. even with the 'doing my head in' stuff
one day your parents will be gone..
do not look back with regret
just try to ignore the things you don't like hearing and try to change the subject..
and when you visit, take the kids with you and encourage her to make a fuss..
They are all just opinions.
Your Moms view as she has seen maybe her country change and decline, over many years.
She's seen her young lover/man/friend/husband grow ill, and decline too.
Dont make a stand on 'your' own views; love is bigger than making a stand on your own politics and gender views.
Hard as it is my friend, show some grace and humility...