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Base theme by DesignModo & ported to Powered by Vanilla by Chris Ireland, modified by the "theFB" team.
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The other day I was chatting to a tailor, and he showed me a ledger in which he keeps a record of all the alterations he makes to mens' trousers.
Well, I thought, there's a book for the turn-ups.
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Two old fellas were chatting over the garden fence one day, one says "Here, the wife and I went to this lovely restaurant the other night, great food and quite cheap too".
His neighbour says "Oh yes? Betty and I like a nice meal out, what was the place called?"
First guy frowns. "Oh damn, what was it?" he says. Thinks for a moment. "Name of a flower. Nice smell. Not a lily."
"Chrysanth?" offers his mate.
"No," he says, "you buy them at the florist. Valentine's day and that."
"Rose?" says his mate.
The guy snaps his fingers. "Rose!" he says, "that's it."
He turns to the house and calls, "HEY, ROSE! WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT RESTAURANT WE WENT TO..?"
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What do you get if you cross an elephant with a prostitute?
A two ton pickup who does it for peanuts and never forgets you.
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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac agnostic, who lay awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?
I'm not some sort of drug-taking alcoholic git.
I'm just a git.
May 2018... Gone! What May?
If you could choose between a wonderful wife who loved you for eternity or a new guitar of your choice which would it be?
Single or double cut?