Friday humour

p90fool

EricTheWeary

My local baker is retiring soon. He makes the best eclairs ever. There will be some big chouxs to fill when he goes. 

gordiji

A man & woman sitting with their dogs in the vets. Woman's dog asks man's dog 'what y here for ? ' He sadly replies 'i'm being put down' and continues 'i've had enough of the old bastard always bossing me about, giving me kicks & crappy food, so  i bit him, good n hard on the leg. What about you ? '

'Well' the other replies,' my mistress was running her bath and i was lying on the landing and she walks past naked and bends over the bath to test the water. You know, it was too much, i got up and jumped on her , giving it all i had' !

'Ah, i see ' said the first, 'put down for you too ? '  'Oh no', he replies, having my nails cut' !

axisus

axisus

drofluf

axisus

TheOtherDennis

I'm giving up drinking till this is over.

EDIT: Sorry, duff punctuation. I'm giving up. Drinking till this is over.

Hootsmon

Roysterdoyster

AlexC

Breaking news - A&E departments all over Britain were pushed to breaking point this evening as a high level of patients were admitted with serious wrist injuries.
Apparently they’d been clapping for the NHS.

TheMarlin

 

TheMarlin

  

TheMarlin

 

TheMarlin

 

TheMarlin

 

TheMarlin

 

Kebabkid

TheMarlin said:

 

That would be a Titanus jab

axisus

A priest, a rabbit, a bishop and a minister walk into a bar.

The rabbit says I think I might be a typo

axisus