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  • HootsmonHootsmon Frets: 16312
    IMG
    tae be or not tae be
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  • KittyfriskKittyfrisk Frets: 20590

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  • Toms_DadToms_Dad Frets: 176
    TheMarlin said:
    I don’t get this.....I only see three musicians and a drummer.....
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  • chillidoggychillidoggy Frets: 17140
    Toms_Dad said:
    TheMarlin said:
    I don’t get this.....I only see three musicians and a drummer.....
    I’m only seeing two musicians.


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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 24602
    edited August 2020


    A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?'

    The barman is amazed but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.

    The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.

    The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a ham and cheese toastie.

    The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

    The next night, the pub is packed.

    In walks the rabbit and says, 'a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie, please barman.'

    The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.

    The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year

    In walks the rabbit and says, 'a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie, please barman.'

    The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of ham and cheese toasties.'

    The rabbit looks aghast.

    The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says,
    'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.

    The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'are you sure I will like it.'

    The crowd's bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

    The barman, with a roguish smile, says, 'do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.'

    'Ok,' says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a cheese and onion toastie.'

    The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie.

    He then waves to the crowd and leaves....

    NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

    One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time.

    When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.

    The barman says, 'who are you?

    To which he is answered, 'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.'

    The barman says, 'I remember you. You made me famous.

    You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.'

    The rabbit says, 'Yes I know.'

    The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any ham and cheese Toasties. You had a cheese and onion one instead.'

    The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it.'

    The barman said, 'You never came back, what happened?'

    'I DIED', said the rabbit.

    'NO!' said the barman. 'What from?'

    After a short pause, the rabbit said ...

    'Mixin-me-toasties



    Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28397
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  • HootsmonHootsmon Frets: 16312
    IMG
    tae be or not tae be
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  • HootsmonHootsmon Frets: 16312
    IMG
    tae be or not tae be
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  • TheMarlinTheMarlin Frets: 8499
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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28397
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  • proggyproggy Frets: 5835

    Car For Sale:

    One lady owner from new.

    It's a blue one.

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  • TheMarlinTheMarlin Frets: 8499
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  • TheMarlinTheMarlin Frets: 8499
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  • TheMarlinTheMarlin Frets: 8499

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  • barry2tonebarry2tone Frets: 212
    554307b80be2_4360
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  • blobbblobb Frets: 3273
    Image may contain one or more people text that says Those are just pipes Keep scrolling
    Feelin' Reelin' & Squeelin'
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  • HootsmonHootsmon Frets: 16312

    tae be or not tae be
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 25596


    Stay for the ventriloquism act...
    Donald Trump needs kicking out of a helicopter

    Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 10072
    554307b80be2_4360
    I get my kicks on 8.12403840464 

    ...and does root beer multiplied by itself give you beer?
    I play guitar because I enjoy it rather than because I’m any good at it
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 10072
    The British leap frog association is now operating a clear desk policy!
    I play guitar because I enjoy it rather than because I’m any good at it
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